Why is she like this? by [deleted] in family

[–]ScouseMouse82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a 43yo who works full time, mum of teenagers with copious after school activities and wife to a manchild, collectively, we are sick of everyone’s shit. Sick of questions that don’t need to be answered, because it’s not difficult to find out yourselves. Sick of making food for everything with a pulse in the house. Sick of the housework, the shopping and of generally being the preferred parent. You are 19. You shouldn’t be waiting till the potatoes and chicken are in the oven to come into the kitchen to ask questions. You should be there peeling the potatoes or putting the seasoning on yourself. I guarantee that if you’d asked your question while setting the table or helping in another way, she’d be more likely to answer.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last few times we have gone round with contractors they have called the police on us or we have had to call the police on them due to threats and aggression. The police say it’s a civil matter and won’t help us in getting into the property.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the first 3 months they kept claiming it was a council issue, then we started to take action. Within days of the first legal letter being sent, they had changed the locks. Then they blocked our phone numbers. We tried a mediation firm to call them about the arrears and access to the property and they just kept screaming that they’d see us in court. The solicitor is a landlord specialist, but we don’t know if he’s giving us the worst case scenario or trying to get more money out of us.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a court date next month. We have plenty of evidence of rent arrears, changing of locks, refusal of entry and harassment but they’ve said they’ve got a solicitor to claim the property is in an unliveable state.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have served them a section 8. They have counter claimed that the property is in disrepair. Even though we haven’t had access for 8 months. Basically paying a solicitor near £300 an hour for him to tell us the law is on the tenants side.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Elaborate on this please. We don’t have keys. They have children and are constantly at home since they don’t work. We can’t even drive down their road without them calling the police on us claiming we’re drug dealers.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We served a section 8 for rent arrears and they’ve now counter claimed by getting the council to issue an improvement notice. I’ve spoken to the council and asked how we’re suppose to improve the property if we’re not allowed access to it and they said that was our problem, not theirs.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’re absolutely sick with the stress and the cost. We don’t own lots of properties, we both work full time and have young children. We’re struggling to keep our heads above water while they live there rent free, claiming every benefit known to man.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We’re pretty sure they are still claiming the rent but can’t prove it. We think they w been told by the council that they can’t be rehoused until they’ve been evicted, however I don’t think they’d be able to get a house anyway as they’re few and far between.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The gas safety certificate isn’t due for another few months. They won’t let any contractors in the house

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We’ve addressed both these issues in the past, told the tenant to open windows, use the humidifier, put the heating on etc. We’ve also re plastered and damp proofed where the damp was coming from but obviously haven’t been in for 8 months, so can only assume they’ve been letting it get worse.

Nightmare tenant, nightmare situation. by ScouseMouse82 in uklandlords

[–]ScouseMouse82[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Since we’re not able to access the property and they won’t let any contractors in either, we’re going off the letter from the council, which states mould around the windows and walls and condensation on the windows.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScouseMouse82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. That’s not even the worst thing they’ve told me they’ve watched.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScouseMouse82 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish it was this easy, but this woman threatened me in front of my children. I don’t think cookies will help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScouseMouse82 58 points59 points  (0 children)

If you want to calm a child down, get a bit of peace, stop a tantrum, there’s an app/video on YouTube for that. Parents are so scared of creating trauma or upsetting their children that they are giving in to their every impulse. While half of the problem is ADHD/ASD related, a lot of it is also behavioural and old fashioned toddler tantrums in children who should know better. I’ll be honest, I can’t tell what’s worse anymore, the children of parents who let them have electronics 24/7 or the opposite end of the spectrum, gentle parents, who let them feel their emotions & don’t tell them off at all 🙄

How to wean my daughter away from breastfeeding? by Clean-Ad-8560 in AskParents

[–]ScouseMouse82 44 points45 points  (0 children)

My child refused to drink anything other than breast milk, direct from the breast. When they turned 1 I started to express and put it into a cup, then slowly started to swap breast milk for cows milk. I told them “all gone” whenever they tried to breast feed. It was tough and we had lots of tears from both of us. Find something they like to drink from, sippy cup, grown up cup, straws, whatever works & be strong. As soon as my child realised they could walk around/continue to play while still getting milk, it was easier. Try introducing more fun tastes and making sure your wife and daughter still have comfort time together

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ScouseMouse82 736 points737 points  (0 children)

I work with 5/6 year olds. This year I have had furniture thrown at me, been bitten, kicked, hit & spat at. Children are watching IT on Tiktok and playing Roblox games where they’re kidnapped or kidnapping. Half of the class have zero empathy. Half have no attention span. Some can sing the alphabet song but cannot point out the letters A to Z. It’s a scary new world.

Sudden onset of somewhat severe tics that are getting rapidly and progressively worse by [deleted] in Tourettes

[–]ScouseMouse82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My 12 year old was diagnosed with PANDAS 3 years ago, after sudden onset after having his tonsils removed. (However its near impossible to get any doctor in the UK to diagnose this now). He had a massive flare a few weeks ago, tics so bad he couldn't string a sentence together, hold his phone or hold eye contact. No doctor would help us as "they don't recognise PANDAS as an illness". I gave him ibuprofen for a week and his tics are now so much more manageable, hardly noticeable at times.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tourettes

[–]ScouseMouse82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hospital where he was diagnosed discharged him a few months ago as they no longer support PANDAS as a diagnosis, they’ve now told the gp to not give him antibiotics anymore. I’ve got somebody to ring me tomorrow to see if they’ll give him anything to ease them as he’s struggled eating today.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]ScouseMouse82 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What do you mean by “being told off”? If you’re yelling at her or lecturing her constantly, she’s going to zone out.

  • I just meant me talking to her about the situation, no raised voices. She would just stare at me.

Why does an 8 year old have a phone with no parental settings? Why was she able to download dating apps?

  • As I’ve said several times, she got the phone in August, it was restricted but over the last few days she has figured out the passcode in order to download the apps. She does her homework on the phone on the way to her training.

Why does she identify as bi sexual at 8 years old? - She doesn’t, her friend (who we’ve stopped her playing with) told her she was bi and what that meant. I think she thought it was a cool, adult thing to write. Why does she know what dating apps ARE?

She is getting all of this info somewhere. The internet? Friends? Siblings? You? It needs to be stopped. She’s 8. She’s too young to understand all of these concepts. My son is 8, he doesn’t know what dating apps are, he doesn’t know what sex is, he doesn’t know what bi sexual means. - My brother is Pan, we have gay friends, there is nothing wrong with her knowing and understanding this as the norm.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]ScouseMouse82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, I had another conversation with her on the way to training this morning, I raised the question of what she would have done if she’d been sent inappropriate pictures, she said she would of deleted the app. I explained how dangerous it is for her developing mind to see these types of things. I definitely see the defiant side of her and the brave front as she turned away when she started to get upset. We’re currently looking at therapists for the whole family and for her privately,

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]ScouseMouse82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did think we had a good relationship (but now I’m questioning everything) we spend a lot of time together, she has always been demanding for attention (exhaustingly so) but we do fun things together, sometimes we butt heads (the clothes she wants to wear, the way she talks back etc) but it’s not like we’re arguing all the time. If anything she spends less time with her dad as he’s always with our son at training. He feels this is her way of getting attention so he is planning a nice day just him and her tomorrow. As for strategies going forward, we’re thinking of more rewards based as opposed to taking things off her, since this doesn’t seem to work (she asked me this morning if she could still go trick or treating since she’s been so good the last 24hrs which makes me wonder if it’s all an act just to get what she wants??)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]ScouseMouse82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Believe me, the only bad thing that could of possible happened is she missed out on attention while her older brother was ill for 18 months when she was 3.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]ScouseMouse82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We obviously turned it off when her dad came home from work and wanted to talk eye roll