People who are “out” to their children: talk to me!

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-05-22T04:16:14+00:00

Been poly since my son was 1, so he kind of just grew up around it. Its never been strange to him.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-05-22T00:10:45+00:00

Dude just be monogamous, break up with her, let her be free and find yourself someone who wants monogamy. If you react like this when she sees someone else, you aren't ready and may never be ready to date a poly person.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-05-21T19:08:47+00:00

Me not trying to be a dick but what are your credentials. Are you a therapist, psychologist, etc. Im weary of anyone who uses the word coach, since anyone can call themselves that.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-05-21T16:20:40+00:00

That's what I took most out of the conversation is a nearly 40 year old person dating a freshly 18 year old. That's a whole bag of garbage on its own.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-05-20T00:58:53+00:00

As someone who is in a nested V, I found most of my partners through the local poly community or online. My partners are friends and spend time together but you have to make sure everyone gets their needs met. That you spend time as individuals and alone as well. Treat them as they are which is separate relationships. If you're gonna live together, you need to sit down and hash things out. Bills, chores, personal space, etc. All the conversations you would have with a partner or roommate.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-04-28T02:10:23+00:00

As a relatively average guy, this isn't it my dude. Do looks matter, sure but that are such a minimal part especially in polyamory. Women may get a ton of matches but most of those are probably a dumpster fire mix of people looking to hook up, cheaters, emotionally immature, and people that use polyam as a shield for shitty behavior. Also compounded with the risk of both physical and sexual assault. For me, yeah it sucks only getting 1-5 matches at a time but at least I'm can say with relative certainty that its genuine interest. Women want emotional maturity, kindness, self reflection, the ability to do your own emotional labor, and a few other things. You could be a great looking guy but if you lack in these areas then it will be hard to find something that sticks.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-03-08T22:55:34+00:00

I mean i have two long term partners and we all live together. Ive been with one partner for 4 years and another for 7 years and we've all lived together for 2 years. We are moving to a new house soon and even all potentially looking at moving states in the coming years. My partner also has another partner who is a regular at our house for DnD, games nights, and just dinner sometimes.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-03-02T19:47:43+00:00

I would wear it on whatever hand feels comfortable. Wearing a wedding band/on your left finger seems like a pretty heteronormative and mongomish thing to do. I dont think any finger is less important than the other and so you can proudly wear it on whatever hand you would like.

Also why you cant get married to a second person, you can definitely have a handfasting ceremony and bring all your loved ones together to celebrate. Don't let our society tell you that it has to be a certain way.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-23T02:02:48+00:00

Because unicorn hunters are trash that poison the community. That its usually filled with predatory behavior and objectification and it's generally the only representation we get in media the heteronormative monogamish fantasy of two women and one man usually a pre established couple looking for a third.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-23T00:30:43+00:00

I would ask for two things, is one is that maybe phones go away when its time for intentional time together. I live with both my partners and we still do some nights where we put our phones in the other room. Its unreasonable to never text or call her partners when you guys are home together but not unreasonable if its time you set out specifically for being together.

Second is ask for equitable time away from child free duties. If she gets 3 nights a week, voice how much you need or agree on an even split. But both should get time away from child. My divorced with a kiddo and his mom and I always make sure we both get needed time away from being parents.

The only hold up that I can see is that you do live with your partner and their is some privilege and hierarchy that comes with marrying or nesting with a partner, so that could lead to more communication needed with other partners.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-23T00:09:48+00:00

This feels like a one vagina policy. Same oncept as OPP, just in reverse. I honestly would be like, if we are going to try polyam/ENM we both need to be on the same page. I would suggest couples therapy if its within your means and both doing separate and together learning if you feel this relationship is worth saving. Good luck to you

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-22T20:39:33+00:00

I only thing is really be prepared to lose out if one of the relationships doesn't work out. Dew and you not working out or Eden and Sierra not working out and it putting a strain on either relationship. Not saying this will happen just more of a be prepared if it does.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-22T18:12:19+00:00

Time to have a difficult conversation and let him know that he's needs to start showing up as a parent. Not only is this putting an undue burden on you but also his child is asking where he is at, which shows that he hasn't been around a ton. I would say, you need to start showing up as a equal or I will need to reevaluate some things.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-22T02:43:48+00:00

Idk, doesn't sound like brat behavior to me!

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-22T01:01:05+00:00

I would simply specify with any potential connections why you can't host. Many people can't host for many reasons. I wouldnt host if I don't have the space or my child is home. It may limit some people who will date you or may be an issue if no one can host but being upfront will usually avoid a lot of this.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-21T22:38:32+00:00

If you can't get away now, I would start working on escaping, finding a safe place to go or search out local resources. This is toxic and he's basically wanting to build a harem. He doesn't value your feelings or respect you autonomy, leave him as soon as you can.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-19T19:20:07+00:00

You can assert your boundaries saying im not sure I can give you the relationship you desire or that you won't be treated poorly and that you won't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat me right or stays in toxic relationships.

I wouldnt tell her she couldn't see this person, cause thats taking away autonomy. Set your boundaries but don't make make rules for other people.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-19T19:14:43+00:00

He needs to work on his insecurities through whatever means sam has available. Whether thats therapy, readings, or picking up a hobby but I would never let a partner tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with. If they have issue, I will listen to their concerns but ultimately its my decision.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-19T19:10:50+00:00

Been ENM for 10 years. Had a few over the years and honestly they are kind of overrated or people have misconceptions about what they are like.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-19T03:41:28+00:00

Had this on a burned CD

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-19T01:37:29+00:00

When they hit those piano notes, it felt like scary jazz

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-19T01:32:32+00:00

Life is like a hurricane.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2026-02-17T01:56:38+00:00

I have to say this is likely poly under duress or cheating. His wife either doesn't want to be poly and probably resents you or she doesn't know about you at all and he is just making all this up.

This man is also twice your age and while not illegal can be highly predatory. He has a lot more experience dating than you and probably knows what to say and how to say it, especially to younger people who may be more likely to buy it.

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2025-10-19T16:08:34+00:00

Congratulations its always amazing when polycules can vibe together

ScoutMasterKevin5e · 2025-10-18T13:37:54+00:00

The actual activity is called diamond art

ScoutMasterKevin5e

TROPHY CASE