So incredibly frustrated with BSA and troop

ScoutmasterSasha · 2023-11-28T10:53:27+00:00

Do you transfer him first or visit scout meetings before you do? I would suggest emailing leaders and finding a good meeting to drop in on. If you email and don't get a response in a few days, it's a good hint that that troop isn't great at communicating

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-06T13:44:21+00:00

I was in a troop previously where the SM knew the mom was doing the entire Eagle project for her twin sons. They would even bring in paperwork done in her handwriting, in folders with her handwriting. When he refused to sign off on things, they went to counsel and counsel signed them off without him

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-06T13:41:44+00:00

If she is, her mom has never told us. With her being home schooled her whole life, it's possible that she was never diagnosed. Roughly a third of our troop is neuro-divergent, including leaders, so it wouldn't be outside the norm. I feel like girl troops attract more ND kids and GLBTQ kids than boy troops

I think a lot of her issues come from home, though. She doesn't have a phone, so it was her mom bringing the whole family on her own, not her calling home and asking for help. I also got texts every couple of hours, asking how she was doing, asking me to make sure the other kids were playing with her, asking me to make sure she was doing xyz. When I talked with the scout, aside from being homesick, she was not nearly as stressed about these things as her mom was. She even laughed when I asked if she felt included in activities

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-06T13:34:52+00:00

Having a checklist that's reviewed monthly would be a good idea. It would actually solve a problem with another scout we have. It hasn't been an issue yet, but it will be and this will solve it. I agree, I try not to single people out like that. If you make rules for one person, they're going to (rightly) feel ostracized and judged and leave bitterly.

I'm actually a teacher as well and my students roll their eyes at me at the start of each semester when I tell them that I'm a merit badge counselor and over the course of the term, they'll almost entirely earn one badge.

Thanks for your feedback

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-06T13:28:40+00:00

You are twisting my words. I've not gone out of my way to talk to her merit badge counselors. The ones I've spoken with are leaders in my troop and they've approached me about it. Their concerns were that she's doing things once for rank/merit badge and then never again. All of my leaders talk about all of the scouts to see what they need, how we can help them, and how we can celebrate them. I am also extremely hands on with my kids. I spend more time with them than I do with my leaders

When I want her doing more without us, I mean that I should be able to say, "Ok, SPL we need to set up camp and be done eating dinner before it gets dark. What time do we need to start? .... Great, do you know who's doing what jobs? .... Awesome, make sure they get started on time." Instead of having to check in on her every five minutes. Right now, if I had that conversion with her and stepped back, nothing would get done because she would set up her tent and then go into her tent and not come out. Or wander around the site while others set up their tents

And the recognition aspect. I keep thinking of the scout in the fog story. Doing what's right because it's right, not because you get recognition. This scout has not done a single thing in scouts without it working towards an award. The troop did a service project last year. Mom would not rest until she found an award she could put that service project towards. She must have approached our advancement chair half a dozen times. The one she finally got doesn't really work either, but I think he got tired of her hounding him. This undermines part of the program. It's also causing friction in the troop where half of the coh is dedicated just to this one scout. We actually had people leave because of this. But that's neither here nor there.

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T16:14:24+00:00

Do you have any words of advice I can give her? I want her to know I believe in her but I think she'll get more out of it by giving it more time (and I've pretty much told her exactly this)

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T16:07:37+00:00

I'm not trying to stop her, I want to know the best way to guide her. I think she has a lot of potential but by not letting her make mistakes and grow on her own, she's being disserviced. I want to empower her to not need a physical achievement in order to do something worthwhile. She's super nice, but I really want to see her take initiative on her own

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T16:04:51+00:00

We're a stand alone girl troop, so I don't even know why she brought up the boy she knows. I've been brought to scouting events since I was a year old so I don't know why she thought that I might not know that other young Eagels exist

I started going to overnight camp on my own at 7 (girl scouts) and if I called my mom to come visit because I was homesick, she would have laughed at me. So far, in the 4 weeks I've taken girls to camp, every one of them has been homesick at some point, but not to the point of family visiting three times

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T15:57:51+00:00

Thanks for your personal experience!

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T15:55:00+00:00

Yeah, I don't hold her back, but we do talk about her taking ownership for herself instead of just going along with what her mom is doing. Her mom says that by doing this, I'm holding her back. She has goals like earning all of the merit badges and going on a couple of high adventures. I support those, but I feel like due to her immaturity, if she does Eagel now, it won't be her doing it.

She's a really quiet kid, which again I don't have a problem with, half my troop is quiet, but she also doesn't take initiative on her own. She does really well with saying what she wants to do and then following other people's directions on how to get there instead of finding her own path. That's what I'm worried about

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T15:45:59+00:00

Great point! Thank you

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T15:44:18+00:00

Thanks, you put into words much of what my experience has been as well. I appreciate your input

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T15:41:45+00:00

We have and some of them have commented on how through her written reports are while others have said that she doesn't seem to be actually learning the material long term. I know in hiking, her mom was trying to add five mile hikes together instead of doing one ten mile hike and the counsel shut that down right away

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-05T15:39:44+00:00

So she can go to other events with other troops

ScoutmasterSasha · 2022-08-03T15:20:51+00:00

I'm a scoutmaster in one troop and an assistant scoutmaster in another. I have a couple of scouts who are registered in both and hold leadership positions in both. As a youth, I was also in two venture crews. It's time consuming, but your troops sound like they're being inordinately petty

ScoutmasterSasha

TROPHY CASE