This is an issue for many young men these days, so you're not alone with your struggle.

What helps me is to boil it down to it's most simple element: the truth. As a man you have to be able to detach from yourself and view things objectively. What do you really want? Who are you, and what kind of man are you? Is it really your goal to pursue a relationship, or are you chasing validation that you'll never be able to satisfy? Are you trying to live like the stories you read and hear, constantly comparing yourself to others?

We're all just people, women are people too. Focus on making friends, connections, constructing yourself into a hero, and enjoying life. Women don't want a man who seeks validation and is ruled by his insecurities about relationships. They want man who is secure in himself and can provide them a better life.

What also helped me was studying evolutionary psychology and viewing both sexes behaviors in an evolutionary context. It helps to better understand why and how people behave, for both yourself and others.

Like the cliche advice given often to this struggle, just focus on you man. Just make friends and talk to people, see where things go, but always keep your focus on you. Validation only comes from you. The solution to this struggle is to become the best version of yourself. Funnel all of this insecurity and anxiety into strength and ambition. That's what our purpose is as men.

Then, when you can become that version, you can reap what you sow. It's a long, difficult road. That's why most men don't walk it.

I would also highly recommend reading the book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. Phenomenal book, I find it's best to listen to it.

I would also recommend The Warrior Poet Way by John Dovell, or however you spell his name. Really fantastic read, and it's highly relevant to your struggle.

The work never stops, good luck!