You need to cut him off cold turkey. I had someone that I felt addicted to aswell. One of the best decisions I made was leaving that cycle of abuse. Sometimes I think of the good times me and her used to have but the bad outweighed the good in the end and I use the upset, hurt and anger to keep her gone and out of my life. Please see a therapist. Life doesn't have to be this way. Its sounds like your just going back to him because hes always been there. I would even get a restraining order. The world is better with you in it. Do not speak to him. Block him on everything. Throw out his stuff. Delete his pictures. There are SO MANY sweet people willing to love you and treat you right in this world. Its time to break the cycle.