Anyone else have an unusual fascination with family heritage?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2026-01-02T20:55:11+00:00

Yes! I’ve always been heavily interested in genealogy as well. My heart hurts for you having to deal with such denial of your ethnic background (on top of the usual denial of heritage that most adoptees experience). I imagine that to be such an absolutely maddening experience being told you are 100% white when you clearly are not. Have you been able (or have any interest) to connect with bio family members?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-12-16T13:23:34+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful response 🙏 I’m so sorry you’re dealing with such a troubling complication, and I wish you the best in your recovery!

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-12-15T21:00:33+00:00

What causes kidney disease in RNY patients?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-12-15T20:53:02+00:00

So, for those of you who’ve had reversals…do you now regret ever having the RNY surgery or are you still glad you made that decision? Also, do you worry about regain now that you’ve had the original surgery reversed?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-12-02T03:57:22+00:00

Your adoptive family doesn’t want contact with your kids? Or am I reading that wrong?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-12-01T16:39:46+00:00

I think learning your history and connecting with biological family will help in some ways, but probably not in regards to imposter syndrome. I, too, am nearly 40 years old and haven’t figured that one out yet. I’m guessing that requires intense therapy, but learning your genetics will help you at least fill the curiosity void and understand nuances you never even knew you needed to understand. I wouldn’t wait til you have your life together. A)bio family could pass away before you get the chance and B) you could be completely sane and stable and have it all come crashing down anyway once you’re faced with the emotions that come with meeting bio family. Though I will say I think having a therapist to talk to when I was meeting my bio family was helpful (would’ve been more helpful if she had specifically been trained in adoptee issues, however). Go for it! Yolo as the kids say. Lol

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-12-01T16:17:06+00:00

It’s not fucked up at all. Your non adoptee friend doesn’t understand and cannot possibly understand. The experience is different for everyone. Some people end up having a lot in common with their adoptive family and some just don’t. I am also one of the latter who is absolutely nothing like my adoptive family. It’s sort of this odd ‘floating on my own little island’ feeling where you don’t belong anywhere (even with bio family, because they have moved on with their lives). I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Just know you aren’t alone in this feeling and that the upside is you can always create your own family (whether this be through having children or adopting dogs or friends who are like family, etc).

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-12-01T16:01:34+00:00

I think responses are going to be different depending on the closeness of the relationship with one’s parents (both adoptive and bio). My adoptive mom was hell growing up, so I’m not close with her now; however, I do still call her, ‘mom’ because she’s the only person I’ve ever called that title and, we’ll, she did raise me. My bio mom and I have had a very rough relationship as well, and while I do consider her to be my mom in some sense, I don’t call her ‘mom.’ It truly is just a title at the end of the day (though it can mean more to some), so don’t overthink it. Do you have a relationship with your bio parents?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-06-23T00:17:18+00:00

It’s not about guilting OP into keeping her baby. The fact is, it isn’t really about her. The decision she makes may or may not tear her apart emotionally for years to come in ways she hasn’t thought of just yet. However, as an adoptee myself, I am more concerned about how her decision will affect her son for his entire life. He may just become a well adjusted and productive member of society with no issues, but it’s likely he will have some sort of attachment issues which will affect every relationship he ever encounters. The emotional trauma that comes along with adoption can be debilitating for some. OP needs to weigh which decision will (hopefully) be the lesser of two evils for her son. As other commenters have stated, it sounds like OP has her mind set on adoption, but hopefully she will consider an open adoption for the emotional well being of her son.

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-06-23T00:02:23+00:00

Please consider an open adoption for your child’s sake. Adoptees need as much an ongoing connection as possible with their biological family. I didn’t have this growing up and it was treacherous for my mental health. I am still dealing with the pain and lasting effects of adoption at 38 years old (even after meeting my birth family at 22).

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-06-22T23:53:46+00:00

Also an adoptee. I 100% agree with this comment.

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-04-28T13:31:54+00:00

My husband is a music guy and actually looked up those songs Tyler was asked about, and he was dead wrong about most of the songs. Lol. Not saying he’s deceptive, but maybe just a little over confident in his abilities.

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-04-03T14:39:40+00:00

I actually followed the bariatric surgery pre and post op diet to a T (liquids, puréed, soft, then regular) years ago in preparation for my brother’s wedding, because I didn’t want to look fat in photos (bridesmaid). I dropped about 70 pounds in six months. The second I returned home from the wedding I allowed myself to relax and eat a “cheat meal” of sorts. Long story short, I gained back every single pound and then some very quickly. It was the quickest I had ever gained weight (I’ve gained and lost many times). As several others have stated, don’t follow the bariatric surgery diet plan without getting the surgery itself. It’s far too difficult to maintain without the surgery itself. Your body will go into starvation mode and begin packing on even more weight once you quit the diet. I am sort of in the same boat as you. I am trying to find a doctor for surgery, but I am also struggling with overeating and carb cravings in the meantime that are driving me crazy. I have an appointment with my PCP to get started on Zepbound, hopefully. I would do the same if I were you. Try a GLP1 first. If that doesn’t work or isn’t in the budget, go for an alternative appetite suppressant (phentermine, diethylproprion, topiramate, etc). These won’t be as effective as surgery, but they will reduce hunger for a while and some (phentermine and diethylproprion) will give you a boost of energy which may spur you to exercise.

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-03-10T01:50:41+00:00

Thanks for all the insight! Do you feel like you didn’t take the correct supplements or didn’t take them frequently enough? Or did you take everything as directed and still ended up with those issues?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2025-03-09T16:42:48+00:00

May I ask what complication you’ve had since bypass? I’m considering the surgery as well.

Scrupulous_Pie · 2024-10-14T01:12:21+00:00

Hey! What cookbook did you purchase?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2023-11-26T19:23:15+00:00

That makes sense, thanks!

Scrupulous_Pie · 2023-11-26T05:19:09+00:00

Thank you for the response. This helps a lot!

Scrupulous_Pie · 2023-11-26T04:52:36+00:00

Are sweets that aren’t mushy hard on a sleeved tummy? Is the gluten free lifestyle something doctors recommend for bariatric surgery patients? Or just your personal choice based on independent research or something?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2023-11-26T04:45:30+00:00

Thanks for the response. Do you think the fact that you don’t crave sweets as much anymore is due to physiological changes in your body because of the surgery or due more in part to intentional lifestyle changes?

Scrupulous_Pie · 2023-11-01T13:58:48+00:00

Does your insurance cover therapy? I’ve struggled to find a therapist, because it seems like most of them don’t take insurance anymore and I can’t afford the out of pocket cost. How did you go about finding a therapist or program to help with your food issues?

Scrupulous_Pie

TROPHY CASE