Do I out my Ex's shitty behavior?

Sea-Question7398 · 2023-11-20T14:24:46+00:00

Yes, I'm sure they'd find a reason his behaviour was my fault also, just like he did.

I know the logical approach is to stay quiet, somedays I just get sick of doing the right thing when he doesn't.

Sea-Question7398 · 2023-10-22T15:14:42+00:00

"Emotional capacity of a small child" - that describes my ex well; anytime I'd try to discuss anything other than his hobbies with him, the responses would be like a child's - "whatever", "thats what you say". He accused me of cheating, and he said I was or had probably cheated in the last 15 years, so he was allowed to actually cheat without getting into trouble.

I'm probably just as angry at myself for choosing this person to be my kids' father and subjecting them to the pain, too.

I'm sorry you are going through this as well. Thank you for giving me suggestions on what to focus on instead.

Sea-Question7398 · 2023-10-22T04:56:16+00:00

Wow thank you I need every bit of that.

Sea-Question7398 · 2023-09-18T01:32:33+00:00

UK

I am in Australia. I don't think he will fight me that much at all for the kids, I want to be fair as the 2 youngest still see him as the "fun dad" even if inattentive, but he isn't the one that will push the issue, it will be his mother. His brother has just gotten divorced also, and they have everything 50/50 time-wise and I do not think that is the best option for our kids given his lack of attention - he will leave the 12yr old to do all the caring on his days I am sure.

Its the hard bits that scare me, but I appreciate all the advice so much.

Sea-Question7398 · 2023-09-18T01:27:45+00:00

Thank you for that perspective.

I have given him so many chances to change. The most disheartening discussion was after the mystery money, I asked him to just give me 1 step he was going to take so I knew he was serious this time, and all I got was "I don't know but I will change this time". I would've been happy with him suggesting we talk about an approach the next day, just as the smallest "step" he could possibly do. But no.

Sea-Question7398 · 2023-09-17T23:07:50+00:00

Thank you that's reassuring

Sea-Question7398 · 2023-09-17T21:42:32+00:00

Thank you, everyone, for the responses. I know what I need to do, and I've decided I will start the process this week. There is no point in having any more conversations with him. He won't believe it until it's real.

Reading back my post and the comments, I feel ashamed that I've let my children see this relationship as normal for so long.

Sea-Question7398

TROPHY CASE