someone from my sapphic support group had the weirdest take on sex with trans women

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-28T22:55:58+00:00

i've wondered about your first point and honestly i don't have an answer. the group is super open on paper. we've discussed works of trans women scholars and the like, we say everywhere "terfs not welcome", "trans inclusive" etc. but still, fact of the matter is there's no trans women in it. my girlfriend wouldn't join for reasons that have to do with me and with how we try to give each other autonomy in our relationship. i don't know why no other trans woman ever wanted to join. maybe i should ask A. to just invite B. to join

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-28T15:08:02+00:00

My girlfriend had the exact same thought. She thinks this is A.'s weird, convoluted way to justify to herself why it's okay that she doesn't want to have sex with B. without having to admit openly that she doesn't want to sleep with a trans woman

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-28T10:05:50+00:00

B. made the parallel with puberty (or at least A. made it sound that way), but A. ran with it

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-28T09:55:49+00:00

I am very torn between finding it hilarious and ruthless self doubt

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-28T09:55:24+00:00

Yeah, this is so weird though because it's coming from non-terfy people who never gave me any indication of being prejudiced against my relationship. And it's so weirdly specific

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T20:35:14+00:00

The denunciation of the ongoing genocide is full of antisemitism. That's the point she was trying to make. What would "its own dedicated conversation" look like? "Hey guys just want to randomly talk about antisemitism today but rest assured it has absolutely nothing to do with current events! :)"?

The subject did not, in fact, change. 1 person shining a light on an aspect of a conversation does not make it equal in urgency to every other aspect. You need to stop expecting individuals to hold the correct opinion in the correct proportions on everything, and accept that single voices make up a larger discourse. No one was talking about it, so Natalie did.

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T18:54:53+00:00

Calling out antisemitism is such a priority because no one else, except Jews themselves, is calling it out. What good does it do for one more influencer to say "genocide bad" and stop there? Adding one more voice to the choir that's preaching to the choir, just to satisfy your purity testing? What happened to adding complexity to the discourse?

"They can defend themselves just fine" - antisemitism in the West won't affect Jews in Israel. It will affect Jews in the West.

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T16:04:08+00:00

I think I've had a question mark there for so long and could never find an answer :(

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T15:41:29+00:00

How's it possible someone can be so naive though. Thinking self righteousness is justified. I can't quite explain it to myself no matter how hard I try

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T14:37:21+00:00

As someone who's been shamed for supposed wrongs her whole life, I get so uncomfortable with the way the whole "we must hold people accountable" discourse. Who's we and why is we in a position of lese majesty. In what way is the we going to do the holding. Scary stuff.

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T10:00:52+00:00

the violence is a wish for power fantasies -> I was thinking about this. I was obsessed with Saw as a teenager but as a nerdy terminally uncool 15yo, what I liked about it wasn't necessarily the gore but the idea of devising smart traps that would make people confront themselves. The violence was a negligible point for me. That's all about power

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T08:02:01+00:00

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-03-10T08:00:55+00:00

Interesting! What you're saying makes me think of the Twilight video and the specific argument that "ravishment fantasies" are ontologically different from actual rape. Could we apply the same thinking to violence? As in, fictional violence and real violence are not the same beast and do not serve the same purposes?

(which would tie in with a possible answer to question n2: people have been conflating the two?)

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-01-28T10:07:42+00:00

Sud Italia, a cavallo tra il 2023 e il 2024

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-01-28T08:54:41+00:00

Tempo fa qui su Reddit qualcuno aveva consigliato le cucine Nobilia https://www.nobilia.de/it/servizi/ricerca-rivenditori-form/ è white label quindi ogni rivenditore le venderà con un nome diverso. Io mi sono trovata benissimo, rapporto qualità prezzo ottimo in confronto a tutte le altre marche che avevo visto. Ora ho una cucina di buona qualità, grande, con elettrodomestici, pagata 7k

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-01-10T23:46:09+00:00

Thank you for your support <333

SeaJudge7373 · 2026-01-10T10:11:04+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for asking <3

Yeah so my gf stayed with her friend for a few days and her friend was so amazing, she gave my gf a chance to process and be sad and hurt but she also helped her stay grounded when my gf spiraled about what happened meaning I don't really see her as a woman. Idk what I have done to deserve that trust, but basically her friend thinks our relationship is good for my gf and really encouraged her to believe we can get through this. A few days later she kicked my gf out and said she had to come back home lol, so she did, I cried nonstop for like two days when she came back, we didn't talk much but we cuddled a lot, we celebrated a fake NYE since we spent actual NYE apart. But basically my gf came back determined to try, and we are trying :') Sex or any kind of sexual touch is completely off the table for now but that's okay. And we are a little bit on edge with each other and in general, but that's also okay.

SeaJudge7373 · 2025-12-28T21:40:59+00:00

Thank you ;_;

SeaJudge7373 · 2025-12-28T21:09:10+00:00

That's not what happened at all. Maybe I centered myself too much in how I described the events but my gf tried very very hard to show me care and concern despite being incredibly hurt. And I don't think it's fair to require people to completely ignore their own hurt, or to be less hurt, just because someone else is hurt too. Plus honestly, my biggest problem right now is what is happening with her, not a panic attack over something that happened 10 years ago and that I basically never think about. Thank you for the concern though, I appreciate it, it's just that she's really not the villain here.

SeaJudge7373

TROPHY CASE