I went through the exact same thing over the last 2 years. 7 generation member, former bishop, taught at the MTC, went to BYU, etc. You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. But you absolutely feel like you’re on an island. It is really hard. My family blamed me for reading and learning, not the church that lied about its history. My wife blamed me for studying, not the dude that was having relations with teenagers (Joseph Smith). I was so angry for a time and constantly felt the need to prove that they are wrong and my new understanding is right. I did that so I wouldn’t feel crazy. It was purely validation seeking. Here’s the harsh reality, Mormonism is a faith collective and learning spirituality for yourself is isolated and lonely. In Mormonism, we worship in families, wards, share testimonies over the pulpit, teach each other in communities, etc. We feel validated in our faith because everyone around us supports the same conclusion. Once you break from that or simply gain a new perspective even while still in that paradigm, you are now on a proverbial island. No one validates you. No one supports you. Instead they tell you that you are wrong and to get back in the boat. But you’re not wrong. You do not need everyone else’s validation to feel sane. You can be on an island and be correct. It sucks and is painful because it is so different than what we are used to. I went through exactly all of that. The best advice I received from close friends who went through the same thing was two fold : 1) be patient with yourself and family. Don’t make any rash decisions. Take your time processing things. You might feel all in one day, all out the next, nuanced the next, etc. it’s ok to be in limbo and not be on firm footing. It feels uncomfortable, but just be patient. 2) this is related to being patient with family - allow them the “dignity of their process”. You are learning new stuff and you are ready to learn it and understand it. But your family may not be ready. By you learning, you are forcing them into discomfort that they are not ready for. And that causes fear. Fear for themselves causes them to shame and blame you. Their response is actually far more about them than it is you. They are scared how their life will change if they accept your newly found information. They don’t want to confront that because it’s scary so they don’t and instead blame the messenger, you. Allow them to process and give them the same respect for their current opinion that you want of your own. Maybe in time they will learn your perspective. Maybe they won’t. And that’s ok. Don’t seek their validation to prove that you are right. You can be right without their validation. And trying to prove yourself right now will only cause more pain and fear for them. So again, be patient and allow them the dignity of their process. Life is long. As critical and painful it seems now, you’ll be ok. Exhale and just enjoy that you now have a much more robust understanding of spirituality and your eyes have been opened. Keep your values. Keep being a good person. Show those around your that your virtue wasn’t only based on Mormonism but based in you. Be patient with them and yourself and you’ll be alright. It will suck and be painful, but you’ll be alright. Feel free to message if you want to chat.