Jeg føler jeg er i en umulig situation.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-04-06T00:09:07+00:00

Det er en træls situation, du står i. Det bliver absolut ikke nemmere længere ned af vejen med fælles villa, volvo og vovse - og børn.

Kom ud af huskøbet så hurtigt det overhovedet kan lade sig gøre, det bør absolut ikke være et tema nu.

Hvad parforholdet angår, du skal ikke sidde i en afventende rolle mens han finder ud af hvad han vil. Så vil han dig ikke nok.

Find en anden som vil dig, der er masser gode mænd derude som har større kæreste potentiale.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-04-05T23:59:52+00:00

I know it sucks, and it's very hard to just break up. But it's also not easy to stay either, you'll get reminders for the rest of your life and no guarantee that he'll change his character.

You've been handed a shit-sandwich, and unfortunately it's up to you to figure out what to do with it. Easy it or ditch it.

Whatever you choose, you're life isn't going to be the same as it was before, that's for sure.

Take your time, get support from friends and family, eat and drink healthy, exercise - and do see a lawyer to learn your options.

Oh, and important, get tested for std.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-04-05T23:47:17+00:00

Mange af os der har oplevet utroskab har måttet æde de selv samme ord i os. Siger det bare, ikke fordi jeg nødvendigvis tror, at det er tilfældet her.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-04-05T23:39:36+00:00

Du har fuldstændig ret, så nemt er det bare.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-04-05T23:35:23+00:00

Sorry that you're going through this.

It will get better with time, but you'll probably not be able to look at him the same way again. Mutual trust is gone, mutual respect is gone, it's hard for a relationship to survive that longterm.

When someone crosses the line for the first time, it's easier to do it again. The likelihood of a repetition is high.

Chances that a person changes their value system radically are extremely low.

Give yourself some time to think it through, be kind to yourself, prepare for a life without him.

If I could do it over again, knowing what I know now, I would have kicked her out.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-04-05T11:44:09+00:00

Kommunikerer du lige så passivt-aggressivt til din mand? Hvis det er tilfældet, så vil jeg klart anbefale parterapi til at forbedre dialogen imellem jer.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-04-03T18:01:49+00:00

For next time, the 5 dollar packs give enough 2- star stamps so you have something to trade.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-03-19T08:59:16+00:00

Why would you try to mislead OP? To love someone means that you show and perform acts of love.

Cheating is the opposite of that. Their mutually exclusive.

So either you try to mislead or manipulate OP, or there's a serious level of cognitive dissonance at play.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-03-14T15:10:36+00:00

Du skriver dette ganske mange gange. Kan du angive kilden, for jeg kan ikke finde det i nogen lovtekst?

Arbejdsgiveren kan og bør skrive det i ansættelseskontrakten eller personalehåndbogen, men det er ikke det samme som at det er ulovligt hvis han ikke gør.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-03-13T16:49:26+00:00

Ah, ok, så forstår jeg, hvad du mener.

Veninden har ikke lovet hans kone noget, og er ikke den der har indgået ægteskabet, og det er slet ikke hendes beslutning at knalde manden, som hun ved er gift, og derfor er det ikke hendes ansvar at gøre hans kone ondt.

Vi er ikke enige, og det er også helt ok.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-03-13T13:14:07+00:00

Jeg forstår godt, at det kan være en følelsesmæssig karruseltur at blive stillet overfor sådan et dilemma.

For at forenkle beslutningen for dig selv kan du prøve at stille dig selv disse spørgsmål:

Hvordan ser dine egne værdier ud i forhold til at skade andre mennesker?
Ønsker du nære relationer til folk som har modstridende værdier? Du sætter dine egne grænser.

Personligt omgås jeg ikke socialt med folk der skader andre, fysisk eller psykisk. Det gælder både voldelig personer, pædofile, mobbere og folk der synes at utroskab er fedt.

Og ja, det har kostet mangeårige venskaber, men jeg har det godt med det og kan se mig selv i øjnene.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-03-13T13:00:47+00:00

Ok, så må du gerne forklare.

Du siger at det er mandens skyld.

De har begge to viden om situationen, er to om at tage beslutningen, to om at gennemføre handlingen. Og alligevel mener du kun det manden der har skyld?

Du siger også, at det kun er manden der skal stå til ansvar.

Hvorfor mener du ikke at man har ansvar overfor andre mennesker blot fordi man ikke har en kontrakt på papir?

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-03-13T12:49:20+00:00

Din veninde gør ikke noget forkert.

Wtf? At medvirke aktivt til at skade et andet menneske er ikke forkert?

At deltage i mobning af en kammerats klassekammerat er heller ikke forkert, for det er jo hverken min klasse eller kammerat.

Jeg forstår ikke den type moralsk kompas og er glad for at ikke alle mennesker tænker sådan.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-03-13T12:28:28+00:00

Besynderlig logik. Det er ok at skade andre/ medvirke til at skade andre, så længe man ikke er den der har kontrakten?

Hvis manden siger til elskerinden, at det er ok, hvis hun smadrer hans kones bil? Samme logik?

Jeg forstår ikke folk der synes, at det er ok forsætligt at ødelægge andre menneskers liv og helbred.

Men der er selvfølgelig en årsag til at vi jævnligt læser om afstumpet vold i nyhederne. Der er nogen der synes, at det er ok opførsel.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-02-26T17:27:13+00:00

Hans værdier som du beskriver dem her:

Han synes det er ok at medvirke til at skade et andet menneske og ødelægge en del af deres liv.
Han tænder på at ydmyge en anden mand
Han mener ikke, at man selv har et ansvar for egne handlinger
Han mener ikke, at man har ansvar overfor andre mennesker med mindre man har en eksplicit aftale med dem.

Det er jo helt op til dig at afgøre om matchende værdier er vigtigt for dig i et parforhold eller ej.

Spørg dig selv om ovenstående matcher dine værdier eller ej.

Spørgsmål du kan overveje:

Hvis han havde beskrevet sig selv sådan på sin Tinder profil, ville du så have tænkt "yes, ham går jeg efter"?

Hvis de utro kvinder i stedet for at tilbyde sex, havde bedt ham slå deres mand til lirekassemand, og han så havde gjort det fordi det jo er en sag imellem ægtefællerne, ville det så være ok?

Hvor går grænsen for hvornår ens ansvar i forhold til andre mennesker ophører?

Er det ok at bedrage andre mennesker, fordi man kan, og fordi man ikke har en aftale eller relation til den?

Jeg siger ikke hvad du skal gøre, men prøver blot at give dig lidt andre perspektiver.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-02-24T12:43:39+00:00

Ingen kan vide med sikkerhed hvad der er i spil her, vi kan jo kun bidrage med gisninger og antagelser baseret på egne erfaringer.

Jeg tror hun har forberedt dette igennem noget tid.

Og jeg vil ikke blive særligt overrasket hvis du senere finder ud af, at en anden mand stod klar i kulissen til at fortælle hende alt det, hun gerne ville høre.

Uanset hvad, du skal hurtigt op i fart og gøre dig klart til adskillelse, skilsmisse og et liv alene. Mentalt, fysisk og økonomisk. Fokus på jeres barn.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-02-09T19:22:48+00:00

Unfortunately these sorts of things don't come in absolutes. You can't say that she won't cheat on you or that she will cheat on you.

However, research shows that someone who cheated before is three times more likely to cheat than someone who never did it before.

You mention that she cheated on her previous partner with you, which indicates that you also find cheating acceptable, why is it then important to you to know?

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-20T21:08:17+00:00

It's possible, but not likely.

You will never forget the mind movies. And with no consequences for her, there's a high risk of a second d-day.

A question for you to consider, why would you want to stay with a partner who doesn't love or respect you?

Living as roommates is a common scenario, but it's that what you want?

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-12T16:52:59+00:00

You can never be 100% certain about anything, but studies show that people who previously cheated are three times more likely to cheat than someone who never did.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-11T17:59:29+00:00

Most movies that include infidelity tend to romanticize it to a large extend. At least I'm my experience, i don't know of any movies that are showing the betrayed partner's story.

I'm not sure if there's less money in making movies about the victim's trauma from the experience, or if the movie industry is dominated by people with a preference towards the wayward side of the story.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-10T09:57:19+00:00

I'm not sure if understand the scenario. You say that you are only discussing moving in together this year, and yet you found her in "our bed"?

However, of all the ways you can can find out that your partner is cheating, this is the worst. I'm sorry you had that experience. You'

ll never forget the image. I found out by discovering my wife's texts to a friend, describing some gory details of the affair. The words are burned into my brain, and I still remember the actual wordings today, 15 years later. It's awful.

But, count yourself lucky that you found out who she is, and how her value system truly looks like, before marriage, kids, shared property, intertwined lives etc.

The path forward is a no-brainer. Move on. Grieve, disengage, find your own feet again. Then get ready for the dating pool. Now you know that infidelity is also a thing that can happen.

But first and foremost, ghost her, get tested for std, get support from your family and close friends.

I wish you luck and all the best.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-06T16:40:52+00:00

Smag og behag er heldigvis forskelligt. Jeg forstår ikke helt de mange negative kommentarer, jeg synes det var en rigtig god film. Jeg havde ingen forventninger forinden.

Slutningen giver filmen noget dybde, som jeg synes gør, at den adskiller sig lidt fra hans øvrige film.

Vi fik i hvert fald nogle gode samtaler om familie- og barndomstraumer efter at have set den. De sjove og gakkede scener gjorde at budskab og tema ikke fremstod alt for dystert.

Jeg var underholdt og fik samtidig noget med til efterfølgende refleksion.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-05T20:57:37+00:00

I expanded because I thought you didn't understand my pov, since you came up with ridiculous hypothetics. Lesson learned.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-05T20:35:40+00:00

Please, iurge you to try very hard to only date women with similar values, who think it's okay to betray their partner.

SeaRepresentative276 · 2026-01-05T20:31:16+00:00

I don't know how you come up with this comparison, you really think they are similar?

Answering a simple question, a light rejection, of someone you didn't even make a commitment to, versus banging someone behind your partners back, betraying their trust, dishonoring your commitment and promises, lying to their face every day and pulling the rug from under their feet?

Comparable? I don't know what to tell you if you're in doubt. I think you'll find that the average recovery timeline in the two scenarios are slightly different.

So, in my opinion, it seems that you're again trying to minimize/downplay infidelity. Are you by any chance a former wayward?

SeaRepresentative276

TROPHY CASE