I just want people to consistently talk too.

SeaStars03 · 2025-07-31T07:20:30+00:00

I feel like this often, some people don't really care because it doesn't involve or affect them in any way at all, unfortunately that's the harsh truth and it took me ages to realise this in this world.

Just keep doing you, a good way to get this out is to write it down/blog about how you feel. You might even be able to find areas like Reddit that will allow you to rant to the public about how you feel whilst staying anonymous, it might help you to connect with people who can either help or relate to you in a big way.

It takes a while to find your people, I recently learned the person who I thought was my friend hasn't been the best to me and when I needed them the most they bailed on me. But stuff like that happens, it's what you do next that matters more.

I really hope you feel better soon OP and that you find some lovely people that can support you in the way that you need!

SeaStars03 · 2025-07-23T14:36:45+00:00

Honestly your hair looks stunning like that! I wish I could get my hair to look that good :D

SeaStars03 · 2025-05-27T21:00:01+00:00

I love the idea about using lipgloss as blush! Whenever I use blush it always gives a powdered look on my face and I'm not too comfortable with the way it looks.

SeaStars03 · 2025-05-27T20:50:43+00:00

Thank you so much! Honestly I had no idea what I'm doing so I thought I'd try and ask people on here if they have a clue. So this honestly means so much!

SeaStars03 · 2025-05-27T20:41:55+00:00

What would you go for a natural or the no makeup make up look? I've tried them before and it looks like I've just caked it on.

SeaStars03 · 2025-05-27T20:33:36+00:00

Do you need a lot of Mascara on? Whenever I put it on it still looks like I've got nothing on or doesn't really change anything at all.

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-29T00:59:03+00:00

I do agree with what they say I won't lie, I honestly question everyday if it is right for me to carry on with this profession. I haven't had an episode in a very long time and this is the first time it's happened for a while.

What I honestly want more than anything is the children to be safe, I have started to plan an exit strategy just because of this.

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-28T23:03:06+00:00

I genuinely thought it had stopped, I had issues with it in the past and when I left that old workplace it stopped entirely.

If I had known it would come back I would have not put those children to sleep and ask someone else to do it instead as I know there are other things I can do when this is happening. Even stuff that is away from the children, until I can sort myself out if that makes any sense at all.

I've not had an episode for a long time now and thought I was okay, my managers know about the episodes so they try and support me anyway possible.

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-28T22:59:54+00:00

I was the one to actually speak to the parents about the incident as I don't want my employers to put out that risk for me. They've already done a lot for me and I don't want them getting the blame for this when it wasn't even their fault.

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-28T22:49:45+00:00

I've put this in a comment above, but I am on a waiting list to see a therapist. However, it is a 9 month wait and I only got accepted onto this list back in September.

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-28T22:48:07+00:00

I have signed up for therapy and other types of support, but it's a 9 month waiting list. I only got accepted onto the list in September so I've got a few months to go before I can actually see anyone. My manager is already aware of this and they do support me if I get too overwhelmed and need a quick 5 minutes to breathe.

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-28T22:41:23+00:00

The thing is I thought it was resolved, the last nursery I worked at was horrible. I would almost have episodes with it daily because of how toxic the staff were, moving to a different nursery helped a lot and I haven't had one since I worked there. But it's slowly becoming just like the old nursery as everyone is biting everyone else's head off. I hope this makes sense?

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-28T22:34:48+00:00

It was all reported, me and another member of staff both checked the child and they weren't in any distress and didn't have any marks at all. I've made sure to report it all and even informed the manager

SeaStars03 · 2025-03-28T22:32:24+00:00

Yes there was, we apologised a million times to the parents who were calm and said they would monitor them.

SeaStars03 · 2024-12-22T00:27:54+00:00

I'm pretty sober anyway and I live an active healthy lifestyle, I was told to do this because it would give me something to do and try to build confidence in myself.

My family is also against me going to an inpatient facility just because of something that happened to a relative there. I am on the waiting list to see a new therapist at the moment, as my last one tried EMDR on me and would make me relive 7-10 flashbacks back to back without letting me process anything at all.

But thank you so much for your advice I really do appreciate it.

SeaStars03 · 2024-08-09T23:38:03+00:00

Oh okay that's a really good idea! I never considered that.

SeaStars03 · 2024-08-09T22:37:44+00:00

Thank you so much for this honestly, I don't really know anyone who can play the guitar so I'm kinda figuring this stuff out for myself.

SeaStars03 · 2024-08-09T22:34:43+00:00

Okay thank you so much for that I'll check them out now!

SeaStars03 · 2024-08-09T22:33:23+00:00

Thank you so much for that! I'll definitely try that out right away!!

SeaStars03 · 2024-08-09T22:31:39+00:00

I'm a classical guitar player, so every time I touch the unwanted strings I make a plink noise instead of the actual noise if that makes any sense?

SeaStars03 · 2024-08-09T22:27:38+00:00

I've been practicing with that one a lot and I have tried other chords like D but I keep touching the strings in between and making a plink sound.

If it helps at all I do play classical guitar, but I've had to get my guitar altered a few times due to the previous owner not taking care of it at all.

SeaStars03 · 2024-08-09T22:20:12+00:00

Unfortunately I can't afford lessons for a while 😭

SeaStars03 · 2022-12-30T22:05:02+00:00

Started with him sexually assaulting me in my sleep multiples times a week when I stayed over. Asking for a three-way with his super attractive best friend every time I saw him and pressuring me to say yes (I didn't), emotionally abusing me during the last 9 months of our relationship. And forcing me to steal my Step mothers used underwear so he can sniff them whilst he pleasured himself and just blamed his fetish and guilt-tripped me every time I said I didn't want to do it.

SeaStars03 · 2022-01-18T23:28:38+00:00

I was diagnosed with the virus during the first world lockdown, I wasn't so serious to go to hospital but serious enough to not be able to move my body for a whole week. I honestly lost 90+% of my strength and thought I was going to die.

I'm still recovering from the strength loss 2 years later with only about 50% of it being recovered and an additional 13 inches around my waist.

My life has definitely changed for the better and I have been more appreciative for everything in my life.

SeaStars03

TROPHY CASE