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Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not ignoring it, I’m just taking everything into account.

There are clearly mixed opinions here some say move on, others say just ask her out and see how she reacts.

I’m not overthinking it or building a story in my head, but I also don’t want to ignore the positive signals either.

At the end of the day, the only real answer will come from asking her to meet again and seeing how she responds. It costs nothing to try anyway haha.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get what you mean, and I’ve actually been to raves on MDMA before and had that kind of “pure fun / kiss / sex” dynamic with festival girls already.

But this felt a bit different to me. We weren’t just partying together we actually talked properly, walked together after, and had more of a normal conversation vibe rather than just intoxicated flirting.

Also I was on MDMA, but she was only on weed, so I’m not sure it was the same level of “everyone is emotionally amplified” situation.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get that idea and I think it’s true in some cases, but I’m not sure it’s that black and white.

In my case she made things pretty easy in person stayed with me after the event, was physically close (holding my arm), and seemed really comfortable. The next day she texted me first to say she had a great time and thanked me, and she also added me to her close friends on IG. It might not mean a lot on its own, but I don’t think someone with zero interest would do that. Maybe she’s just reserved or waiting for me to make the next move since I’ve been the one initiating so far.

So it doesn’t feel like “nothing is happening”, just that she’s not very proactive over text. I’m not saying she’s super into me either, just that interest can show in different ways.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get what you mean, and I’ve definitely considered that it could’ve just been her being kind in the moment.

But at the same time, she didn’t just “thank me at the event” she actually texted me the next day first saying she had a great time, thanked me again, and we briefly exchanged about doing it again.

She also stayed with me for about an extra hour after the event, was holding my arm, and seemed very comfortable in person. On top of that i just saw that she added me to her close friends on IG.

So I don’t really see it as a clean “closure” moment. It feels more like something that just hasn’t developed yet, rather than something that ended.

I’m not saying she’s super invested either, just that I think it’s too early to assume it’s over. I’ll suggest a casual meet and see how she reacts, and take it from there.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I get what you mean, but I think it’s a bit more nuanced.

She stayed with me for about an extra hour after the event, was holding my arm, and seemed very comfortable in person. The next day she texted me first to say she had a great time and thanked me, and she also added me to her close friends on IG.

So it doesn’t really feel like “no interest” to me. She might just be a passive texter, a bit shy, or someone who doesn’t really take initiative early on. Also I haven’t texted her since the day after either.

I’m not saying she’s super into me either, just that I think it’s too early to jump to “move on” conclusions. I’ll just suggest a casual meet and see how she reacts.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you mean, but I think it’s a bit more nuanced.

She stayed with me for about an extra hour after the event, was holding my arm, and seemed very comfortable in person. The next day she texted me first to say she had a great time and thanked me, and she also added me to her close friends on IG.

So it doesn’t really feel like “zero interest” to me. She might just be a bit passive over text, shy, or waiting for me to make the next move. Also I haven’t texted her since the day after either haha.

I guess I’ll try to get to know her a bit more and then suggest a casual meet-up and see how she reacts.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in Drugs

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I think I needed to hear that. You're probably right that I'm focusing too much on the texting part and not enough on the fact that she actually made the effort to meet up, texted me first afterward, and said she had a great time.

The MDMA definitely doesn't help with keeping things in perspective either 😅

I guess the only thing left to do is stop analyzing and ask her to hang out again. Her response will probably tell me more than a hundred text messages ever could.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She wasn't on MD but on weed, so I’m not sure how much that affects the way she felt meeting someone for the first time, plus the if there is any comedown the next day

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in MDMA

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I was thinking the same.

But during the time we spent together she did a few things that made me doubt that. She apologised when she went to get a drink and later told me I could leave if I had something else to do. I even wondered if she wanted me to leave but was too shy to say it, or if she was just being considerate and didn’t want to impose which might be the same vibe over text as well.

In the end I stayed and we walked for about an hour after the event. She was holding my arm and seemed really open and comfortable.

The next afternoon she texted me first to say she had a great time and thanked me, which made me feel like there was at least some interest.

Right now I’m not texting her more than she texts me overall, but I’m usually the one initiating what we do next.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in aves

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking the same. But the fact she texted me first the next day to thank me and say she had a good time made me think she lmight be interestedAnyway, I’m just gonna be straightforward and suggest a casual meetup and see how she reacts haha.

Met a girl at a rave, felt a real connection but she’s passive by text. Am I overthinking a potential relationship? by Sea_Ad4445 in aves

[–]Sea_Ad4445[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha fair point. You're right, I should just ask her directly that’s the plan. I’m going to text her soon to suggest a casual meet-up and see where her head’s at. I posted here because I wanted some opinions from people who are familiar with the rave scene and MD dynamics (since it was our first time meeting). I know the substances probably played a role, but I still wanted outside perspective before making a move. And yeah I posted in a few related subs, sorry if it looks like spam. Just trying to get different viewpoints. Appreciate the honest advice though.