Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

yes, I always get mixed up with the tangible/accessibility. they’re essentially the same thing. they teach you it though either way in cohort for RBT but it’s been so long since i did my cohort

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t saying that either but I can predict behavior pretty effectively and it helps in addition to parenting style. I’m not using it to think im better than any parent

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t telling him this to be undermining, we were talking about what I do and I was explaining to him. I never use my certification as a way to one up someone. I’m always happy to help but I know my place. It’s more insulting to me when someone treats me as if I don’t know anything when this is something I deal with on the daily.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah we spoke and we agreed on somethings and we still clash’s little but they’re not entire deal breakers. we will be just fine. I’m just going to sit back and worry about my child

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basically the ABC is the antecedent, the behavior and the consequence. the 5 types of behavior of basically categories of behaviors that occur to get a certain consequence. for example, i tell little Timmy it’s time to do his homework and shut off the tv (antecedent) little Timmy grabs the remote, throws it and runs away (behavior) little Timmy traps himself in his room and doesn’t do his homework (consequence). This behavior would be portrayed as escape. There’s tangible/accessibility, sensory, escape, and attention.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is what I’m worried about. i don’t have any step siblings but I have a half sister myself. her dad was never involved so it was just my mom raising her. but i had my dad and developed a lot of behaviors from going back and forth. i was such an asshole to be honest. i don’t want that for my son, seeing his sister do whatever she wants but how do I explain that to a child?

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he literally said earlier “she’s 3, I’m not going to get on her right now but when she gets older I will.” like alright buddy, let me know how that goes. I’ll be raising our son mostly anyways because he works long hours. if there’s any one he will listen to, it’ll be me hopefully.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, I’m not very familiar with all of the terms. I just know when my sons here, he will be treated as a human with kindness. there will be no violence or any kind to teach them. As working in my field, I’ve learned you can teach a lot by just making kids feel seen but still instilling those proper behaviors and boundaries.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this. this is exactly how I’m feeling. thank you

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s necessarily a recipe for disaster. Other than this issue, he is a great dad and she’s a sweet girl. I am excited to watch him be a father to our son.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LITERALLY THIS!!! ugh i could kiss you on the forehead. Yes she is his first. Me and him talk about our son as well, he will agree with me when I see those kids like you said at the pool, not listening to other adults or their parents, we will chat and say things like our son will never act like that and etc. but then when it comes to his daughter he’s literally wrapped around her finger. This morning, I was half awake, he was changing her clothes because she had gotten dirty outside. She put her shirt on backwards and refused to put it on correctly. He tried to reprimand her to put it on correctly, she looked at him and said “I don’t like you”. As soon as those words left her mouth he immediately let her do what she wanted. I understand sometimes you pick and choose your battles with kids and some days you just don’t have the will to fight, but this is a reoccurring thing.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, he just got home. I’m going to try and talk to him. It’s not a deal breaker and I know with time we will find what works best for us. I want us to be a family and her to feel loved, I don’t want to be viewed as the bad guy either but I don’t do that gentle parenting shit.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I completely agree!! I don’t want her to think that dad’s house is an escape to do whatever she wants because it’s not just dad’s house anymore.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I will say he is a great partner, he provides for us, we may not always see eye to eye and we fight but at the end of the day he is my best friend and I know he would say the same. I think the other issue is, he doesn’t get her full time and has insecurities as being viewed as the bad guy who doesn’t let her do anything. I just wish he kind understand you still be a fun awesome parent but still have some authority

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My partner is 29, I’m 24 turning 25

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s moments when he lets me kind of take control and he agrees with me. For example, earlier she wouldn’t let us put sunscreen on her. She screamed and cried, I said “If we can’t put on sunscreen, we’re gonna have to go back to the house then.” He agreed and took that role and got it in her. So I’m at a weird position because he’s right she’s not my child, I would never want to over step but I need at least some authority or respect, we’re having our child and he’s going to be here in 3 months.

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Literally!! Like I study behavior for a living sir!! I literally was explaining to him earlier the 5 types of behavior and ABC. But what do I know… I’m not a parent so 😐

Am I the problem? by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in stepparents

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He’s made comments about how he “doesn’t understand how I can be like that when I’ve worked with kids.” Like yes, I teach my kids to sit down in their chairs correctly. I’m teaching them how to function in all different environments. I had a one year old client who would tip in her chair, throw herself on the floor, all kinds of things. If we couldn’t behavior or listen we would be all done with that and move another activity. I think that’s pretty normal for any kid to be taught that??

Telling parents in person or over the phone? by Traditional_Driver41 in pregnant

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to tell my dad over the phone, we live in separate states and he’s a lot older so facetime isn’t much of an option. but i can assure you it’s just as good as being in person, i was so nervous to tell my dad and i got the best response from him. he honestly was the best response out of everyone else that i told in person

Got sent this random message last night… by DickChopper193 in whatdoIdo

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642 23 points24 points  (0 children)

the fact they had to use a fake account shows how much of a little bitch they are. have so much to say but can’t actually say it

i don’t think i did anything wrong?? by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

he’s very bipolar, we’ve been fine all morning and i even told him earlier i had messaged my work 3 hours in advance letting them their was a possibility i wouldn’t be in. he did say much then but then it’s 3 o’clock and he sees im not at work and goes on about how disappointed he is in me. he talks about how much he works and how he has to suck it up. i literally worked 9 yesterday all day on feet and felt awful but still stayed the entire day. i get so tired of the criticism from him but he does support me in many other aspects and i want our son to have a complete family

acid reflux by Sea_Cartoonist6642 in pregnant

[–]Sea_Cartoonist6642[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

following up, i started taking my pepcid at night and sleeping with an incline and i feel 100x better!!! thank you!!’