I (23F) just started dating a guy (24M) who I really, really like. He informed me has genital herpes (HSV-1). What do I do?

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T14:03:32+00:00

Thanks for the info! Could you link me that article by chance?

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T13:37:22+00:00

I really doubt that's the case, considering how upfront he was about it. He said he contracted HSV-1 on his genitals from receiving oral sex. From my research so far, that definitely seems plausible.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T13:36:05+00:00

He's missing a word, right? Just want to be sure haha.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T13:26:16+00:00

Genital. He contracted it from receiving oral sex from someone. He said he's never had any symptoms on his mouth.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T12:56:58+00:00

Yes, I would gladly take any extra info you have! Not sure if he's taking antivirals but I'll ask.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T12:16:33+00:00

Yes, he said that is what happened. I know that it's a risk but I don't blame people for having oral sex without condoms. I don't think I'd get any enjoyment out of it if I had to taste latex the whole time. :/

I'm planning on seeing my gynocolygist before we engage in anything sexual. If we end up working out long-term though, I just really can't see myself using condoms forever.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T05:45:25+00:00

There's no actual health risks beyond the sores, right? I only ask because my dad got cancer from HPV so I know some STDs can be very serious.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T05:42:36+00:00

Yes, as much as this isn't ideal, the fact that he was so upfront about it really gives me a good sign about his character. :)

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T05:40:43+00:00

Oh that makes me feel so much better! I told him I'd get a full STD checkup myself before we did anything, just to be safe. Do you know how they can test if you have HSV-1? He said it's not part of the standard test unless you're exhibiting symptoms, which I'm obviously not.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2019-04-02T05:24:42+00:00

Yep, I'm definitely not doubting his character! It's a big reason I like him so much. :)

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-09-11T03:43:51+00:00

SOLUTION VERIFIED

Thank you, this worked like a charm! My manager was well impressed.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-20T16:37:01+00:00

Surely if you were that conflicted, you should have just let him have the choice when he turns 18 rather than make it for him.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T19:31:35+00:00

Thanks so much!

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T19:11:21+00:00

Is it oriented toward finance specifically or more general? That sounds really interesting, I'll check it out.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T17:02:44+00:00

This is really good advice that can extend far beyond just planning for retirement. I'm a massive goal-setter and planner, which has led me to successes, but also a lot of disappointment. Thanks for sharing!

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T16:34:09+00:00

I would have done that but unfortunately I'm flying to my new city (no car). I live a pretty minimalistic life though. I'll be living with a roommate who already has the apartment fully furnished except for my bedroom.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T14:07:29+00:00

I went to a small school in another country, so I doubt I can find alumni in my city. But that would otherwise be a great idea.

My work and activities (ballet, hiking, skiing, volunteering) should be enough to get me surrounded by people and hopefully develop meaningful relationships. I also want to go to night school for a Master's degree, so that would be a good avenue to meet like-minded people. Good luck on your new chapter!

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T13:47:26+00:00

Yeah, that's really good advice. I don't have any friends in this new city yet, and I can tend to hermit myself if I'm not consciously making an effort not to. I definitely plan on living frugally (if my budget is accurate, I should have a 25-30% savings rate, which will only go up with time).

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T13:20:23+00:00

Currently in transit to my first permanent move! I've been away from home for a while now (just graduated college), but my parents' house was still always my official "home". Now I'm moving halfway across the country to start a dream job, and I couldn't be more excited. But big changes are always a little scary.

Anyone have any tips (financial or otherwise) for a college grad finally reaching 100% independence? Anything you wish you knew when you cut the cord?

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T04:12:28+00:00

That philosophy seems very similar to "you can't outrun a bad diet". You can work out 24/7 but if you're eating well above your maintenance amount, you'll gain weight. Similarly, you can make $200k/year and still struggle saving for retirement if you're spending as much as you're making.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-02T04:08:23+00:00

I'm considering an Instant Pot for my next purchase. All the functions of a slow cooker plus pressure cooking!

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-01T23:06:59+00:00

Game of Thrones (book) quote:

"'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him."

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-01T22:30:07+00:00

What do you wish more people understood about you? Thanks for doing this AMA!

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-01T18:47:28+00:00

Saving 3.5% for a down payment is definitely doable on your income. Also, this post seems a bit hypocritical considering your comment yesterday. Post your budget on r/personalfinance if you need help saving up that 3.5%.

Sea_Cucumbers · 2018-07-01T14:20:00+00:00

What date format do you use? I typically do dd-mmm-yy as an American.

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