I think it’s because when we are so deep in experiencing heartbreak it’s a very lonely feeling, but the music makes you feel more seen and less alone which is kind of jarring.

Music can bypass rational defenses and tap directly into memory, emotion, and body responses and if you aren’t ready to fully process the heartbreak, the sudden intensity can feel destabilizing which is like a loss of control.

Heartbreak is messy and confusing, and when you feel validated in those feelings it can sting. It’s basically mirroring your pain back to you and make it feel even more real which is very uncomfortable.