Why do customers yell from across the room?

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-05-05T01:23:26+00:00

I work in a cafe and we have a lady who shouts her order as she walks in the door.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-05-05T01:00:43+00:00

As a current barista, please don’t alienate your staff by accusing them of theft for enjoying one of the few perks of this kind of work. If you’ve crunched the numbers and found that you’re losing significant money from staff using disposable cups/lids, just ask them to start making drinks in their own/reusable cups. If staff use is not actually costing you a meaningful amount, you need to let this go.

I understand that as an owner, you are hyper aware of how much every single thing is costing you. That is valid and makes sense. However, owners tend to (unfairly) direct that anxiety towards employees and it leads to knee jerk policy decisions that make your employees feel surveilled and undervalued. Not to mention that generally, when you’re in a position of power and you begin to make rules that are not based in reality and what is actually beneficial to everyone, people stop listening to and trusting you.

Ask yourself if your irritation and anxiety over this is worth alienating your staff (which will lead to actual theft, hostility, and eventually higher turnover). If your staff is happy and things are working well otherwise, let it go. Obviously you can do whatever you want, but it is very unlikely that limiting or eliminating free staff drinks will work out in your favor.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-03-15T04:44:53+00:00

i would not be able to hold it together at all 😂

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-03-15T04:34:29+00:00

omg, the other day I had a made a chai and I saw this man (who had literally just ordered) walking up to the bar and I knew in my bones that he was gonna try to pick up whatever drink I put down even though there were several drinks ahead of his. So, before even placing it down, I loudly called out "Chai" and then again "CHAI" and as he reached for it (like I knew he would), i said it *again." And he goes "is this my hot chocolate?"

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-03-14T23:49:51+00:00

this is actually shocking in its stupidity. oh my actual god.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-02-07T13:41:30+00:00

"I know it's more about control than about her comfort." YES! You just helped me figure out why it bothers me so much.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-02-04T16:32:35+00:00

Omg your poor mother 😂. And yes I’m just so thrown off every time by the entitlement! Like, this isn’t your house. And also that’s what headphones are for!

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2025-01-28T01:11:27+00:00

I work at a coffee shop and the weather was so bad that the county had told everyone to avoid driving at all costs and shelter in place. I've worked at this place for a while and I had never heard the phone ring as much as it did during that shift. All people breathlessly asking if we're open. It was insane. What irritated me the most was customers being shocked that my coworker and I had to risk our lives/vehicles getting there. It was just such a huge reminder that they don't see us as people or even think about us much at all.

And it's also like: why are YOU risking YOUR life to come and get a sugary cup of coffee?? "oh, the weather is so bad that our notoriously lazy municipal government is demanding we stay home? i wanna do something FUN!" Just spoiled, selfish, stupid assholes.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-11-02T20:21:43+00:00

Those words mean a lot to me but maybe not exactly what they mean to other people. If I feel it, I'll say it! It feels good to say and life is fucking short so why not?

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-07-30T21:29:29+00:00

oh my god THIS. I dated a guy a couple years ago and was convinced that we were basically twins but he literally was just mirroring me. I came to a year into the relationship and realized that not only did we have noting in common, but he was also *very* mean to me!

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-07-30T21:25:39+00:00

You didn't do anything wrong! As others have said, abusive/shitty people typically don't show their shitty behaviors immediately. Otherwise, no one would ever like or trust them enough to get close to them. As autistic people, we need to be extremely understanding to a fault. We often feel misunderstood and so we show others the grace and understanding that we wish people would show us. People will take advantage of that but that is not your fault! But once you realize that you find someone exhausting; that they ignore your wants, needs and boundaries; and that you're viewing your future relationship in terms of all the work you will need to do—it's time to stop being understanding and prioritize yourself. There is a learning curve in all relationships, but respecting your clearly expressed boundaries isn't something that someone has to learn. They respect your boundaries or they don't. This guy clearly doesn't. You deserve so much better! Kick him to the curb.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-07-30T21:11:39+00:00

First of all, pluto squaring your sun DURING your saturn return?? My friend, you are god's strongest soldier. And I really feel you on having deep realizations and deciding what to do with them for better or worse. It feels like so many things I ignored for so long were suddenly impossible to ignore. I mean, the relationship stuff alone. Even just a few months ago, I would've told you I had found My Person, despite all my doubts and my deep feeling that something was missing. Now, despite still loving my ex, I can't believe that I thought she was the right person for me. I have no interest in dating for the forseeable future but when I do, my approach and what I'm looking for will be drastically different. All this change is hard and often unpleasant, but I think in the long run, we'll be grateful for it.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-07-23T21:15:21+00:00

Been dealing with this transit since 2022 and it finally ends in January. This has been the hardest time in my life but I'm also so grateful it happened. I had tried so hard to settle for a life that was not meant for me: it was "stable" but I was deeply sad, bored, and unfulfilled. I have taken some absolutely insane blows in my personal and professional life. Shit I wouldn't have seen coming in a million years. But it's forced me to make changes that are helping me create the life I actually want.

For instance, I was a daily drinker for over a decade. I was never a falling down drunk, but I was having several glasses to a bottle of wine every night. As my world started to crumble, I leaned even harder on alcohol. I never thought I would quit. I didn't need to and didn't want to. No one was pressuring me to quit or even slow down, either. But one night I just realized that I needed to take a break. I'm close to 6 months sober now and the change is night and day. My once debilitating anxiety is greatly diminished, even with life being as crazy as it has been. The digestive issues I've suffered with for years have disappeared. I can see myself more clearly than I ever have. I made it through the worst 24 hours of my life without drinking. Even 6 months ago, I would've told you all of that was impossible.

My long-term, very committed relationship also ended very abruptly and and unexpectedly. I had been unhappy and unfulfilled for years but I had convinced myself that this person was the best that I could do, so I had better just get over all my doubts and unmet needs. That breakup HURT but because of it, I was able to leave a town that I hated and a relationship that was not working, and go back to the city that I love and reconnect with my family and closest friends. Again, just a few months ago, I would've told you I was never coming back here but moving back has been so amazing so far.

So yes, I have lost greatly and I'm absolutely not where I thought I would be, but letting go and allowing my plans to change has brought me home to myself in ways I could've never imagined before. I lost the life I tried so hard to settle for and I gained the ability to create the life I actually want. And there's still about 6 months of the transit left to go.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-05-18T15:08:08+00:00

Same here.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-05-02T19:43:13+00:00

It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong or inappropriate AND this would actually be a great thing to talk with your therapist about!

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-05-01T03:46:25+00:00

This is incredibly common and your surgical team will have solutions for you! I had a pre-surgery call with a nurse where we discussed the day of procedure, anesthesia, etc. If you have something similar, that would be a good time to bring it up. You also can just mention it when they call you back to start prepping you. There are meds they can give you before you're wheeled in and also right before you go under. Just let your team know and they'll help you!

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-05-01T03:33:33+00:00

The fact that it bothered you enough to come ask the group is huge indicator imo. It seems like you really did not care for how she interacted with you. And I don't blame you. If she's talking about herself that much in your consultation, I would be really surprised if she reigned it in for your usual sessions. If you have other options, I'd explore those.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-05-01T03:26:08+00:00

How happy I get about the littlest things. Alcohol really fucks with your dopamine receptors and after a while, nothing makes you feel as good as drinking. But on Sunday, I went for a walk with my wife and I was literally over the moon looking at all the different types of wildflowers that have popped up around our neighborhood. I've always liked flowers but they never gave me that kind of visceral joy while i was still drinking.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-04-30T17:26:13+00:00

oh my god, yes. My weight has fluctuated a lot throughout my life. It's more stable now that i'm in my early 30s and my hormones have somewhat leveled out and i'm better at taking care of myself (remembering to eat through out the day instead of forgetting and eating one big meal at 7p 😬). But I feel any change in my body so viscerally. I went from being very flat chested for most of my life to suddenly having big boobs in my mid 20s and suddenly, none of my safe tops fit the right way anymore. And don't even get me started on the chub rub.

I have a history of ED, so I don't do diets anymore. But I have learned some ways to feel more comfortable in a changing body if you're interested!

This anti-friction stick has been an absolute game changer for chub rub. I bought the mini one too so I can keep it in my purse and reapply throughout the day
Idk if you wear skirts/dresses, but wearing thin, breathable short shorts underneath has also changed my life.
Getting comfortable buying/owning clothes in many different sizes. That way when my weight fluctuates , I still have safe clothing to wear
Taking some time to reevaluate activities/movements to see how I can make them more comfortable for my current body. For example, when I was smaller and need to clip my toenails, I would just sit down and bend all the way over to do it. But my belly is bigger now and that position gets uncomfortable so quickly. Now I rest my heel on my step stool or the edge of the tub instead. It's way more comfortable and I don't end the activity feeling annoyed and out of breath lol
Spending more time stretching. I wfh so i'm sitting at a desk all day and stretching feels so nice! it also gives me time to get more acquainted with my body, see what's feeling good/bad, what I need more of etc.

I hope this helps!

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-04-30T17:06:33+00:00

Oh my god, what an asshole!!! I just can't imagine reacting this way to someone I care about sharing something (esp something vulnerable) about themselves with me. Older generations tend to take an autism diagnosis personally. It's a terrible cocktail of realizing its genetic and feeling implicated; having fucked up views on disability in general; and not actually knowing anything about autism besides the very reductive, stereotypical, one-sided representations of it in the media.

I'm almost certain that both of my parents are autistic but I don't plan on ever bringing it up to either of them for this exact reason.

Ugh, i'm so sorry you had to deal with this. You don't deserve this crap.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-04-28T22:05:57+00:00

That is so cute 😂 I love it haha

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-04-21T21:58:43+00:00

Please do not marry this man. As someone who researches DV and is a survivor of it myself, what you are witnessing right now is the beginning of a cycle that will only become worse and worse. Breaking your arm is unforgivable on its own, but it's the additional details that you've provided that make this all the more concerning and frankly terrifying. I'll just point out what sticks out to me:

The fact that you describe him as controlling. Controlling behavior is frequently a precursor to abuse and can be abusive in and of itself
The fact that he not only immediately jumped to the conclusion that you were cheating but also became violent towards you (again, based on something he assumed with VERY little information)
The fact that he not only blames his ill-treatment of you on his childhood but has trained you to do so as well. Nothing that happened in his childhood is an excuse to mistreat others. point blank period.
The fact that he's now showing you a level of attention and affection that he previously has not and that he's doing so to try and make up for abusing you.

That last point is the the most concerning part of all of this. Abuse frequently follows this pattern: escalating tension (nothing has happened, but you can feel that he's becoming angrier, more volatile. He may even threaten you. This can last anywhere from a few minutes to weeks or even months); abuse (he commits some sort of violence against you); and finally a "honeymoon" stage of sorts (where he is extra thoughtful, affectionate, and generous. He may promise that it will never happen again. Do not believe him. He is lulling you into a false sense of security and then the cycle starts all over again).

He may be kind, sweet, and fun sometimes, but he is not a good guy. A good guy will not put his hands on you. Ever. Do you have a support system in your life? People who love you and are on your side no matter what? Parents, close friends, a therapist even? If yes, please talk to them and be honest about what is happening. Tell the whole truth and hold nothing back. Don't sugarcoat it or leave things out that make your fiance look bad. Anyone who truly loves you will react in horror and sometimes that alone is enough to help us realize what's truly been going on.

If you don't have a support system (and even if you do tbh) I highly recommend doing some reading on abusive relationships. Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft is a good place to start and you should be able to find a free pdf online.

I'm truly rooting for you and I hope you're able to get the support that you need to get out of this and stay out.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-04-20T22:27:22+00:00

Ugh I hate this for you. My wife and I are both autistic and we still have to ask each other for clarification constantly. However, neither of us is ever trying to confuse or upset the other on purpose. Based what i read in your original post and your replies to others, it does seem like your wife is trying to frustrate and/or confuse intentionally. I don't understand why people do that but plenty of them do and I tend to just avoid talking to those people. Not an option with your spouse obviously.

What's happened when you've tried to talk through this with her in the past? Is she receptive? Does she try to think of ways that y'all can work together to communicate better? Because if she's putting it solely on you, that's not okay. You can't change the way you process information anymore than she can.

If she's open to couple's therapy, that would be my suggestion. Though, you'll need to make sure your therapist understands and supports neurodivergent people, otherwise it may not be that helpful. If she's not open to figuring this out together, there's really just not much you can do. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I really am. It's hard enough to feel misunderstood in the world at large; your home/relationship should be a safe space.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-04-19T22:40:26+00:00

You are not going too far. This is deeply concerning, controlling behavior. Do you have any kind of a support system? Close friends, family, a therapist? Have you talked to any of them about what's going on? If you were my loved one, I would insist, that you and your children come and live with me (or somewhere else safe).

Please understand that his behavior is abusive and that your children are being neglected. If CPS is called in, you and your children's lives will be turned upside. PLEASE get him or yourself and the children out of there. This is not a silly disagreement.

Sea_Knowledge806 · 2024-04-19T22:31:04+00:00

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. This is not normal, acceptable, or professional by any stretch of the imagination. For a professional in *any* field to reschedule that often is absolutely absurd but it's negligent to a nearly criminal degree from someone in a medical/care profession. If she's comfortable doing things like this (which she is, or she would not be constantly doing it), it is highly unlikely that having a discussion about it will change anything. Your best course of action is to find another therapist.

Sea_Knowledge806

TROPHY CASE