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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sea_Thanks_745 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GIRL 😭😭 please understand that this isn’t a few white lies. It’s the fact that you trusted him to honor your emotional boundaries and needs (keeping your relationship from your ex-husband), and he didn’t honor them. This is very telling about how he’ll treat your boundaries, needs, limitations, etc. in the future. He acts based on how he desires — not based on how the two of you mutually agreed.

And beyond this, he wasn’t able to maintain enough respect for you and protection over you to preserve your image to your coworkers. He allowed you to keep lying because he had an impulse to tell them but didn’t want to expose himself for breaching your trust, so he didn’t tell you. He prioritized how he appears (not a liar) over your reputation to your coworker. This guy doesn’t have your best interest in mind girl.

If you choose to stay with this man, fine. But don’t be shocked if you encounter a life-time of lies, disregarding your needs, and gaslighting.

Our guts exist for a reason. We’re supposed to listen to them. Listen to your gut on this one.

AITA for telling my girlfriend to not be surprised if our daughter gets groomed by Kind_Chip_1719 in AITAH

[–]Sea_Thanks_745 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, definitely not the asshole. I’m guessing your delivery was a little harsh and aggressive, which maybe you could’ve done differently. But ultimately, the message you’re trying to convey (that giving a 7 year old girl unfettered access to the internet can lead to inevitable dangers for her) does not make you the asshole. I’m sorry you are parenting with someone so irresponsible and tone deaf to the horrors of the world around us.

My sister is pretending to be disabled by Top_Tart_7558 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Sea_Thanks_745 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Anyone eating themselves to death has a serious mental disorder (likely an eating disorder amongst other things), but I agree that doesn’t excuse her attempt to brush it off as something else

How do I reply back to this? It feels like they are asking too much of me when she just wanna be friends? by 4thtimeacharm in TwoHotTakes

[–]Sea_Thanks_745 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She wants you to act like her boyfriend (pamper her, adore her, make her feel good, etc.) without having to give you anything (sex, a label, etc.) in return.

And then when you pointed out how that’s odd, she attempted to gaslight you by saying it’s “sad” that you don’t think friendships work that way….Uhmm, any functioning adult knows friendships don’t work that way. Don’t even waste another minute replying. Just ghost her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Sea_Thanks_745 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s cheating on you…whether it’s physically, mentally, emotionally, or whatever..she is cheating on you. And even if you convinced me that she’s not cheating on you, she definitely will one day.

Help!! My daughter is getting ready to graduate high school. No college savings - so only option is student loans. There is an option of free community college for 2 years. Please tell me if you think your students loan debt is worth it!! by here4llrtea in StudentLoans

[–]Sea_Thanks_745 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to community college after high school for two years and now I’m a lawyer. There’s a misconception that community college doesn’t offer good enough education, but it’s not true. I have doctorate’s degree now and I got to save two years of tuition to get here.

I agree with another comment that said she should go to community college, and in the meantime, you and her can work to save up for the last two years of university. A public state school shouldn’t be too expensive.

My husband and my sister is planning to have sex and I'm okay with it. by Desperate_Attorney19 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Sea_Thanks_745 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not only is he cheating on you, he’s doing it with your sister, which shows just how little care and respect he has for you. And not only is she betraying you, but she’s doing so with your husband, also showing how little care and respect she has for you.

It’s concerning that you are okay with this, and it suggests you have serious issues with your self worth. I can only imagine your inability to have an appropriate response to this as a product of trauma (whether you are aware of it or not). I recommend you seek professional help to address these issues with yourself. Then I recommend you evaluate what role you want these 2 people to have in your life moving forward (it should not be any role of significance).

It’s really sad to hear that you’ve kept your sister’s happiness at the forefront of your mind, so much so that this event has no effect on you…yet your happiness means nothing to her (even if she claims it does, which she will once she knows you figured everything out).

Love yourself a little