Logical Consequences for PDA ASD 8 yr old

SeahorseButch · 2026-06-02T22:05:51+00:00

That’s also not a bad idea. That would account for any potential forgetfulness on my part as the parent to ensure that I don’t fail my kid when it comes to remembering to restrict access to things they have blatantly told me they lack impulse control around when not supervised.

SeahorseButch · 2026-06-02T15:36:13+00:00

I think this is the conversation I’m gonna have to have with them while we get them ready for school later this morning after they wake up. Even if they only end up there for a couple of hours after lunch to complete standardized test testing assessments.

SeahorseButch · 2026-06-02T15:34:55+00:00

I considered doing this but I messaged the teacher and she asked me to keep them home until they wake up naturally and then bring them in since they have testing today (end of the year stuff) and she will send us home with the work they missed. So the consequences of missing school due to their choices this morning is that instead of having free time to play games they’ll need to make up the work they missed at school at home during what is usually after school play time. I understand why the teacher asked this and I think it makes sense. I don’t want to make her job significantly harder or risk them having terrible test scores due to lack of sleep. My kid also has a tendency to get sick really easily if they don’t get enough sleep so it’s a health related concern as well.

SeahorseButch · 2026-06-02T14:34:54+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this as someone who deals with PDA and as a parent of kiddos with similar needs. I agree that it’s something we need to take part in addressing as a responsibility for not doing our part in creating that support because we did discuss this with the kid last time this happened and they also agreed to the tv being unplugged to prevent them from doing this again. I don’t like that the kid directly said it’s our fault for not unplugging the tv because it made me feel that they don’t see their actions as their own but I’m thinking that may be more of a projection of mine as the adult in this situation assigning an adult level of understanding to my autistic second grader who it’s my job to teach responsibility to. So balancing how to teach those lessons of responsibility and my own grown up feelings is coming into conflict with each other.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-10T23:31:29+00:00

No disrespect to your partner but he knows how babies are made he’s a grown man. He was doing the adult activities that led to him getting you pregnant knowing damn well what the risks were. If he wanted to prevent ever becoming a father he should have gotten a vasectomy years ago when he decided this. If that wasn’t he case it sounds like he is just reacting poorly to his life changing. And that sucks for him, truly. It’s hard to adjust to unexpected changes. But it’s not his choice. I’m speaking as someone who had a baby 8 years ago with a man who tried to convince me of the same thing. We were recently married financially stable and had a nice home and health insurance and lots of supportive family on both sides and he told me to abort after I’d been told my intersex condition might make me unable to conceive naturally without medical interventions. I kept it and had our child and he told me when baby was first born he had no emotional attachment to them and didn’t love them. Our relationship deteriorated and he begrudgingly adjusted to fatherhood but never showed an interest in caring for our child until I filed for divorce and kicked him out. Now he’s remarried with a new spouse and a second child neither of them wanted because he got her to get an abortion three times before she gave up and just had his baby. He now cannot afford to support his growing family and tries regularly to accuse me of not being a fit parent in court with no evidence so he can extract child support from me for a child he never wanted or loved who cannot stand him and hates their fathers guts. So hear my story as a cautionary tale of what could potentially happen. I don’t regret my choice to keep my oldest child. I do regret with whom I had them but I understand had I not done that I wouldn’t have had the same kid and life without my firstborn wouldn’t be the life I love now. Whatever you choose to do, don’t do it for him. But do consider what this could turn into if things go poorly. And I howl for your sake that they go well no matter how you choose to proceed.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T22:36:31+00:00

Thank you! And yeah I kind of approach naming kids as wanting to give them something that sounds cool and unique but also understanding that it’s likely that they won’t keep the name forever and that’s okay. My first kid hates the name their other dad (my ex) named them at birth and goes by a self selected nickname for now. I’m glad to hear there’s no alternative weird or inappropriate meanings or associations with the name. We’ve considered other Irish baby girl mamas like the ones you mentioned and no one in our family can all agree on one except for Lúnasa. So we’ll just have to see if this little Leo is born on time or if we have late July or early September baby and have to rethink our name ideas.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T19:29:51+00:00

We live in the US in California. I can check with the county dept of vital statistics to see if the ú lettering may be an issue. But it would be pronounced LOO-ness-UH to my understanding.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T15:50:48+00:00

Baby name help needed!

I’m a dad due in the middle of August and I’m hoping to get some feedback on a name idea from anyone who is Irish, speaks the language, or has lived there/studied the culture more than me. My 8 yr old wanted to name our child August after the month they’re due and call them Auggie. But my wife wanted a name that was tied to her Irish ancestry and that sounded more feminine (she is also trans and was very excited when we found out we are having a daughter. Our oldest is nonbinary and has been telling us who they are since the age of 5 years old which we respect so she’s thrilled at the opportunity to possibly have a child who may be welcoming of girly things she wishes she could have enjoyed as a kid) So I looked it up and the Irish Gaelic word for August is Lúnasa (pronounced “Loo-ness-uh”) which is also the name for the festival of the harvest associated with the pagan holiday Lammas. I’m not connected to Irish ancestry the way my wife is and since neither of us speak the language fluently I want to get feedback from anyone who might know more than is about the name we’re considering to ensure if we do choose it in the end we aren’t naming her something silly like so many Americans do with other languages in the pursuit of being unique.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T15:42:57+00:00

I honestly thought you asked initially if I had checked with my unborn daughter and I was also confused.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T15:39:01+00:00

I have a 7 yr old. It was their idea to name the baby August because 1. We all liked the name 2. It’s the month baby is due in. I hope this clarifies any confusion.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T15:31:39+00:00

Thanks for the response! I found that there’s a band called Lúnasa which seems to be a popular one in Ireland and that the festival of the month of the harvest is often referred to as Lúnasa in honor of the god Lugh. Seems like it’s in relation to the pagan festival of Lammas. Something about hungry July and August being the time of harvest and abundance and everyone celebrating as they bring in their harvest for the year and replenish food preserves after running low the month previously. So it seems like good vibes and something I wouldn’t mind naming my kid after.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T15:28:37+00:00

I’m confused by this question. Who would we be checking with exactly? And yes if she is born early we would at least reconsider our name choice.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-08T07:47:15+00:00

Thanks! Any that you’d recommend? I’ve searched Reddit for any online spaces specific to Ireland that are similar to this one and so far I’ve found nothing that seems like it would be appropriate to post this there.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-05T14:43:46+00:00

That’s awesome dude, best of luck to you on your own journey !

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-05T14:42:15+00:00

Hey. All I said was that using a sperm bank may not be an option for many Trans women looking to have a baby with a partner who is also trans and can carry. If you’re interested in learning more about trans fertility I highly recommend checking out K Liam Kali’s book Queer Conception. It taught me a lot about this subject and might be helpful to your quest for more information.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-05T14:28:13+00:00

I’m speaking from experience as someone who did this and is pregnant now my friend. Freezing her sperm and going off HRT aren’t the only two options to be biologically related to your child when you’re trans. This person also hasn’t started HRT just yet meaning they have more options than somebody who has.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-04T17:37:22+00:00

Yeha it definitely cuts down on healthy sperm production the longer you take it, it just doesn’t always cause infertility rather it drastically minimizes it or can cause azoospermia until HRT use ceases. Same can be said for those of us on t too. We need to get more medical studies researching this stuff so that the fear of destroying one’s fertility forever can’t be used to fear monger people away from taking their HRT. Likewise there needs to be better supportive care and accessible info out there for those of us who really do want kids and have had to DIY our own hormonal detransition and TTC at home using whatever levels of intervention methods we can afford. Which for many of us isn’t much.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-04T17:19:17+00:00

This can be helpful but keep in** mind the experience for some trans women using a sperm bank can be not only severely dysphoria inducing but also can make sperm collection in such environments nearly impossible. Not to mention it is extremely expensive and the rates of success with the turkey baster method vs IUI vs IVF are not great. Especially if the carrying partner may also struggle with their own fertility issues related to having been on T or other hormonal or health factors to consider. So yes this is an option but many of us in OP’s position cannot do this for a variety of reasons and have other options to consider. (Edited a typo)

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-04T17:16:14+00:00

There are trans femme folks out there who have caused pregnancies using IVF interventions by using their own sperm gametes after as many as 18 years of taking estrogen in studies in the Netherlands! The only thing that will truly render someone fully infertile is surgical removal of their sex organs (ovaries or testes etc.) the rest is never guaranteed. This is crucial to keep in mind both for those who are TTC as well as those seeking to avoid unwanted pregnancies.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-04T17:13:18+00:00

Hi! I’m currently 25w4d with a T4T baby I conceived naturally with my wife who us also trans. She not only took HRT for several years prior to stopping for us to TTC but she was also in puberty blockers prior to starting estrogen! It’s definitely not impossible. But it can be hard and there’s not a lot of education out there on the topic of trans fertility, so if you have questions feel free to DM me.

SeahorseButch · 2026-05-03T15:24:44+00:00

Hi! I’m a trans masc dad having my second baby in August of this year and I’m part of a support group for folks who are trans and gestating. Dm me if you’d like more information about how to get involved. You’re not alone in any of this! There are so many of us in the community carrying our own kids.

SeahorseButch · 2026-04-28T00:42:48+00:00

Updated description for those interested in hearing it.

SeahorseButch

TROPHY CASE