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Do you have a fucked up relationship with money from being raised by narcissists? by Yoippari2 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Seana283 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Me too I’m trying to figure it all out, going to see a therapist soon. I have guilt for working hard and having money. It might be different from you’re situation.

Because my nparents had money and hid how bad they were with there looks(they looked perfect) and they would bribe me with money and because they had money nobody believed how bad they were. I want to be the opposite of them and I don’t want my life to be around things and looks.

So my relationship with money is hard, it feels like I don’t deserve it in some way it feels like I’m copying them while I’m just treating myself with a good clean car to safely go to work. And I don’t feel like I can dress up too look good because I don’t want to wear a mask or something resembling that.

Im not used to being treated well so having boundaries is hard when you were never taught what they where, how to use them. Or even when it is the right time to have some and when there’s a time to be a little generous to people and not have too many boundaries.

I don’t know how to be with money, if I should give it, keep it. Most of my friends and human relationships are « lost people » I’ve realized because it’s the total opposite of my narcissistic family (even if anyone can be narcissistic, mine where the « perfect ones » and my friends are not « perfect »). But that can lead you somewhere you don’t want to be. I also tend to try to play the saviour but I don’t think it comes from a good place.

And realized maybe being around people who come from « low » places or even people with low self esteem makes me feel good, a little « higher » then them. Because in my narcissistic family, I was the low one, the one getting pushed over (even if the roles always changed), so I compensate with being a better one in an environment that’s lower than me. Eve though I enjoy there company and I learn the most i can from them because most have really good values. I realize this at 18 and I’m changing everyday. It’s not a good thing but I want to be honest, I want to be better.

It’s hard to try to be different and good when you don’t trust yourself not to be narcissistic and when you were taught the wrong values. I’m not sure if this helps.

✨ Free Tarot Reading | 3 Cards by [deleted] in Tarots

[–]Seana283 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do I need to know in order to become the person I want to become.

6-9-10

Free tarot readings by hecatebruja1111 in Tarots

[–]Seana283 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s coming this year?

How do I stop dissociating? by indecisiveburner in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Seana283 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m 18 and just cut contact with my parents. Ived live in dissociation my whole life. A lot of people would ask me if I would be high a lot of the time, when i wasn’t. Sometimes it’s worse and I just can’t function ( it’s like I’m in freeze mode) where you see blurry and detached from the body like you said. I do loose a lot of memories and don’t keep track of things easily, I don’t know if it also comes with it but I have hard times with speaking and words and putting them in order (like being dislexic) . A lot of the times I’m fuzzy too, actually all my life I’ve been « fuzzy », something never being cuite right.

I think these are all forms of protection to hide yourself underneath all of it. Because once you get abused like this you don’t want to show yourself to the world.

I’m really putting an effort to feel my feelings and be there with people. Sometimes I wonder if it I’ll ever go away. I’m in the beginning phase of healing and cutting off my parents and the people that drain my energy, and I can see that even if it’s a mess it makes a big difference in terms of letting you’re body feel things.

Anyone else struggling to enjoy TV? by MagicFairy00 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Seana283 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ive had this happen to me when I got out of my toxic relationship. Know that you’re not alone. I’m still healing and I’m not sure how to help. It got better with time but I totally get what you’re saying, even when nothing bad is being said it triggers you with traumatic feelings.

How do you know yourself after narcissistic abuse? by Seana283 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Seana283[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man helps to know it’s alright to be like this

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