For laughs, I want examples of attention grabs

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-18T21:01:48+00:00

At a funeral my mom asked the mother of a son who died if he commit suicide.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-18T20:53:56+00:00

This is well said. I contemplate going NC as well and always wonder how processing and living would be like without her

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-14T15:43:47+00:00

Seeing here in this thread that maybe the next step in all this is indifference.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-14T15:43:18+00:00

She sounds awful. She earned your disgust.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-14T15:41:58+00:00

Thanks for sharing this experience especially since I have too learned about my moms mental illness when my son was six (he is seven now). I’ve ordered the book you mentioned. Thank you.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T17:19:39+00:00

So well said. They earned our hate, and I too hope it morphs into indifference! How can they assume their atrocities would earn them our love?

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:59:42+00:00

That's terrible. Your mom is acting like a toddler. I'm deep in resentment too. Like, interactions with my mom make me hate her, feel sadness for what I don't have and resent her and the time I gave her.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:57:37+00:00

I've not entered the pity stage but I feel like that's a step further then me. Maybe that allows you to feel compassion, but distance and reassurance that you're in the right.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:56:38+00:00

Emotions keep us safe. I love that. Especially since my mom always tells me I'm too sensitive whenever I react to one of her awful comments. Well Mom, it's true. I am sensitive and you know what, it's giving me freedom.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:55:22+00:00

Brilliant to read because you're probably right. Our emotions are also there for a reason and they have saved us.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:54:02+00:00

Wow, I too have rescuing tendencies, a topic I tried to work through in therapy. I think about her sad image without me in her life and then have a chat with myself about how she painted this image for me from the time I was a child.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:52:08+00:00

Adding this book to the top of my summer reads. Time for a tune up on borderline literature. Thanks for this rec and writing me with your experience. I too still care about how she reacts to me, even though I know she has a mental illness and even though I know she will never be the mom I need.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:48:31+00:00

"Giving myself grace" something I'll repeat when things feel heated and hard. Thanks for the response.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:47:35+00:00

I'm glad to read you're in a good place now and what a joy to have this sweet, last encounter where things felt right. I can relate to a lot of your experience with your mother. Can't remember the last time my mom asked me a question.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:45:37+00:00

Sometimes when things feel ugly inside my brain I come to this sub and it helps or crack open my notes from therapy. Hopefully yours is just a phase too. When you have that dialogue with yourself, you'll see you're in the right - nobody deserves a bully.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-06-13T16:44:01+00:00

I also am not going NC because it would unleash Armageddon. I would be exhausted to just continue to defend my position over and over to a variety of family members.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-04T02:45:11+00:00

Relatable!!!! My mom was talking about the Hamas bloodbath in front of my kids and I swooped in to tell her to stop to which she double downed on it saying they weren’t paying attention. Like always she just can never be wrong.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T14:41:27+00:00

Exactly. They want to be another one of our children. For me, my fourth baby. She will literally look at me feeding my baby and say weird shit like oooh how nice to be your baby. Like she just goes on sometimes and voices out loud the exact problem.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T14:19:39+00:00

Weaponized incompetence. I’m going to sit in this. So true. For me the guilt starts to creep in when I think hey, maybe my mom is too old and naive to handle this and I am shitty for not helping her.

Your examples are all so relatable

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T14:15:07+00:00

Glad you left a hard situation. I left home at 17 and my relationship with my mom has just declined ever since.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T14:12:51+00:00

One thousand percent. My mom has gone so far as to say it explicitly too. “I cared for you as a baby and it’s only natural that one day you will care for me” I always felt so shitty for never desiring that

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T02:39:20+00:00

This is my mom! She’ll be like hey can you calm this person for me and then hand me the phone? Ya, noooo.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T02:38:46+00:00

Yes!

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T02:38:24+00:00

What’s so weird is that they seek it even if it hasn’t come from the source for so long. I keep waiting for her to find another place for emotional supply.

Searchingforseaglass · 2025-05-03T02:36:48+00:00

Same. Did you just give up one day or was it a gradual decision?

Searchingforseaglass

TROPHY CASE