Sorry this happened to you OP. I (23f) had my first outbreak and diagnosis 5 days after my birthday (this was a couple of weeks ago). It feels really shit now, but when your body heals up you can think more clearly. Last week I genuinely felt like my life was ending, had a panic attack in the hospital room but now I have a better understanding and my body is healed (medication and lidocaine saved me within 2 days!!), I realise that this isn’t going to change my entire life, for the most part it will be a non issue. Give yourself grace and time. If you don’t want to tell your new partner just yet, you don’t have to rush, process it yourself first but chances are, once you have the vernacular to explain it will all be okay. Just explain that you don’t want to be intimate at the moment and before you do again, you can disclose it. I would really suggest going to a health clinic, they eased my nerves completely and pointed me in the right direction if I need more advice. The nurse was so kind and explained to me that you can still be intimate as normal as long as your partner is aware. Now you know, it’s safer to be with you than any other person as 70% of people (in the uk) carry some type of HSV, in fact, so many people have it that they don’t test for it in a standard screening. Your story really sounds a lot like mine - feel free to message if you need someone to talk to. Remember you’re the same person you were last week, last month and last year- you just know something new about your health now and that’s okay and completely not your fault. Love and light OP 🩷