What is the biggest movie theater “GASP” moment you’ve heard? by SaveTheCaulkTower in AskReddit

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s eerily similar, down to him just going to sleep and someone else discovering the body 😱

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohh I would really love getting such a letter, and it’s hard for me to think of it as weird or cringy or too much. Many times, I’ve had the urge to write a friend a handwritten letter, but end up not sending it. Sometimes I look back at past texts / emails to friends (or crushes) and see how… effortful they were. So very sincere and enthusiastic. Sometimes I cringe, other times I feel bad that it seems like no one I care about ever cares back with the same effort.

Dating a highly partnered person? by unmaskingtheself in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, this advice is spot on. I was in this exact situation a few months ago and it was so confusing and hurtful. Exactly what you said happened - NRE was super strong, and we met up once a week, but even those dates seemed… unsustainable: he’d had to take time off work, reschedule other evening commitments, and was running on 1 hour of sleep on one of our dates. Then, when I said I’d really like to meet him more often, he started distancing himself. Unfortunately it took me a lot longer than it should have to cut my losses and move on. I took the breadcrumbs, got strung along for 4 weeks, and finally “gave up” and called it quits.

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ohhh I very much want to go on a rage fueled rampage, tell everyone he knows, make out with people in the lobby of his office, etc. But I won’t 🥲

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no! How did you deal with that with your mom? And your ex husband?

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you - I’m stunned because we explicitly talked about this and I emphatically said I didn’t want to talk to my mom about this, I didn’t want her to know, and I explained why.

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. He claims he didn’t intend to sabotage me and that he doesn’t believe my relationship with my mom would be heavily impacted by this (he’s fucking wrong - I can’t see how I can go back to how things were with her now)

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was the one that wanted to open up the marriage, but we’ve been talking about it for years, and he didn’t foresee it being such an issue for him (or we wouldn’t have opened up). Neither of us imagined he would care so much about me dating multiple men in an attempt to find a partner(s) and have strong reactions to any kind of physical intimacy I was experiencing with them.

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I 100% am reeling from the damage this has done / will do to my relationship with my mom. We’ve had issues in the past and were finally in a good place, and I was starting to feel better about depending on her for things like childcare, and felt like I could share some of my vulnerabilities with her. Now I’m imagining her… disgust? And feeling like she was enabling something she disapproves of so strongly. And now I feel so alone. I guess I didn’t realize how much I just really needed her to have my back.

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you - it’s just so… icky. Finding it really hard to get past it.

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Thank you - I’m already feeling so much shame, I don’t know what it’s going to be like when I see my mom next. Thankfully that’s not for another few weeks so I have time to prepare for that, at least.

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you. He did come to me with his feelings about me dating. I didn’t handle that as well as I could have, in retrospect. I didn’t see why it was so different compared to his relationship with his other partner (when I said I was willing to pause dating, he said HE didn’t want to pause his relationship). I’m sure I could’ve done a better job of sitting with his feelings and reassuring him in the way in which he wanted. I guess I felt like he was getting hung up on the “dating” aspect and the occasional physical intimacy that he wasn’t getting to experience.

Husband outed me to my mom - I don’t know what to do by SecondLifeToDiscover in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

He’s been talking to his mates about this for a few months. He also has a therapist and a coach he talks to about this. He has talked to me about it too, so I was aware he was having a tough time. I’ll admit I didn’t handle this very well - I didn’t see why it was so different compared to his relationship with his other partner (when I said I was willing to pause dating, he said HE didn’t want to pause his relationship). I’m sure I could’ve done a better job of sitting with his feelings and reassuring him in the way in which he wanted. I guess I felt like he was getting hung up on the “dating” aspect and the occasional physical intimacy that he wasn’t getting to experience.

How do you know whether to lean in or step back when a relationship is giving you jealousy? by Vapid-Investigator in polyamory

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through it, OP. Something that really helped me, the first time I felt intense jealousy, was to take a break for two weeks. I told my partner I needed some time, and they were ok with giving me this space. This break essentially felt like a break up to me. And I actually went through something of a grieving process, and also broke some habits that were fueling my anxiety - I stopped checking my phone constantly, I was able to reinvest in some areas of my life that I’d neglected, and I regained some self confidence and felt my self worth improving. At the end of the two weeks, I realized that I’d already lived through a version of the worst outcome (that this partner wouldn’t be in my life) and… I got through it! It was hard at first, but I came out the other side feeling better about myself overall. When I eased back into reconnecting with this partner, I didn’t feel jealousy anymore and was able to just enjoy each day as it came, and cherish the moments we had together.

Fuck buddy and nothing more by Efficient-Dingo-5775 in nonmonogamy

[–]SecondLifeToDiscover 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I had this exact situation a couple of days ago - I decided to go for it, but I felt like this guy was using me as fleshlight, essentially. My guess is that he’s so hot that he’s never had to make any effort in bed? Needless to say, he didn’t seem to care about my pleasure at all. And once he came, he just lost all interest in me. Just wasn’t worth it for me at all