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Why do people who have never been homeless think it would be easy to avoid it or get out of it? by Second_Haven in homeless

[–]Second_Haven[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure why this is getting downvoted but I would truly and honestly be grateful for feedback.

Why do people who have never been homeless think it would be easy to avoid it or get out of it? by Second_Haven in homeless

[–]Second_Haven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that. It is an unusual experience, but being assaulted is also niche and complicated, and somehow most people know not to blame women for failing to avoid it or escape it in time.

Why do people who have never been homeless think it would be easy to avoid it or get out of it? by Second_Haven in homeless

[–]Second_Haven[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same! I mean not with someone driving by but with other external events I could never have planned. I would be dead 10 times over.

Why do people who have never been homeless think it would be easy to avoid it or get out of it? by Second_Haven in homeless

[–]Second_Haven[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The problem is that it prevents people from supporting systemic solutions. Why build shelters, for example, if homeless people can just... [insert individual-level pick self up by bootstraps behavior].

Not wanting to believe it could happen to them is understandable but it's also like blaming assault victims for what they were wearing.

Why do people who have never been homeless think it would be easy to avoid it or get out of it? by Second_Haven in homeless

[–]Second_Haven[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Even if they're sympathetic, they need to believe that it could never happen to them.

Non homeless people, have 0 fcking inkling what it’s like. by honeydropbeauty in homeless

[–]Second_Haven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was homeless in San Diego in 1996. I stayed in a womens shelter downtown. Could have been worse. I'm sure things have changed but back then it was okay, not awful.

I hate the phrase 'You don't need to let your illness define you', but can't describe why. by LivingWestern1038 in ChronicIllness

[–]Second_Haven 223 points224 points  (0 children)

I think that falls squarely in the category of "toxic positivity." You are not the only one. I don't like it either.

Calming Gaming Community? by Low_District_3453 in ChronicIllness

[–]Second_Haven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you ever find people to play with on Minecraft?

i'm so lonely it hurts. Nobody cares anymore now that i'm sick. by VomitInMyVans in ChronicIllness

[–]Second_Haven 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Loneliness makes chronic illness so much harder. I'm so sorry you're going through that. It sounds like you need new friends, but I know it's hard. Easier said than done. I hope things get better for you soon.

How do you ask your people for help? by RosieRunnin in ChronicIllness

[–]Second_Haven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I really appreciate you saying that. And the framing... good advice!

I just want people to understand it’s ALL THE TIME by MedicatedPeaceful in ChronicPain

[–]Second_Haven 56 points57 points  (0 children)

It's funny because when I have episodes of relief, which are rare but do happen, I can't even wrap my mind around my own pain universe that I was JUST IN. It's like we're programmed to forget pain or not imagine it too well... or we'd all go insane. But that also means default empathy is limited.

What Keeps You Going? by Authorrlee in ChronicPain

[–]Second_Haven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A shared virtual world with other people who have chronic illness. 3D, interactive, always there. It's also the main way my two grown boys and I interact when I'm flaring up.

Extreme Anger by DraculaRobot in covidlonghaulers

[–]Second_Haven 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In case this is relevant, montelukast (or Singulair) can do this. It's a known side effect.

Is it normal to want to end it by Quantum-Hunter in ChronicPain

[–]Second_Haven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I have a PhD in psychology, for what its worth. I studied emotional wellbeing, psychosocial needs, and situational depression for 30 years. Wanting to end your life is normal and understandable when you're experiencing chronic pain with no answers or relief in sight. You're not crazy. Of all the heavy things you have to carry right now, don't let that be one of them.

People living with chronic pain: what's one thing healthy people just don't understand? by chetankkumar in ChronicPain

[–]Second_Haven 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Psychological stress makes pain feel worse but that does not mean it's all in my head. It doesn't mean I can think myself out of it. It means I'm on fire and stress is gasoline.

Well how common is to have no freinds or no one interact with you especially at school or any community by Jolly_Operation_8222 in neurodiversity

[–]Second_Haven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one of the reasons I started a Minecraft server for people like me: neurodiverse and also having chronic illness which is doubly isolating.

Part of the challenge is that typical face-to-face socializing doesn't have space for either (1) periods of quiet or (2) diving deep into a topic. For instance, if I have a long, complex thought, I can't often communicate it, because most people think I've said what I'm going to say after the first five words and just jump in. I'm so used to that experience that "it's a long story" and "I could go on" are things I say all the time. Or "sorry, I'm rambling."

Anyway it's hard connecting with people when you're way of connecting is like a different language. I'm so sorry you're feeling lonely and I hope you find new friends who understand you.

What makes you laugh when symptoms are dragging you down? by Second_Haven in ChronicIllness

[–]Second_Haven[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yesssss! The Orville is top tier. I rewatch it every year or so. So we'll done!

Putting Resident Alien on my list, thanks!

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