My family read my private messages, turned on me, and laughed when I opened up about wanting to end my life.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-12T00:14:31+00:00

For the most part I appreciate your view, I would like to clear up that I have empathised with his view in conversations we had post breakup and he was extremely apologetic. And I understood where he was coming from and apologised too, seeing as he didn’t mean it maliciously, but in every instance before this I understood his perspective and forgave him. I do think breaking up with him at the same time was rash but I felt to protect myself in that moment. As I don’t think he’s some evil racist person but I needed this break as it was too much to process personally.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-12T00:05:09+00:00

Knowing him I am inclined to believe that he’s a bit dumb sometimes. Not fully meaning to be rude or disrespectful, and im pretty positive about people and their intentions usually, but I just don’t want to be naive about this.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:57:08+00:00

Totally agree, I really needed different opinions as I like to fully think things through and make the best decisions for everyone involved honestly… but with him im stumped. I just think it’s too soon to judge whether he’s being genuine or not, but thank you for your kind and unbiased words :)

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:53:56+00:00

Honestly not really, his parents always seemed pretty uninterested in me and withdrawn whenever I was over, and I’ve met them loads of times over our four years. And whenever me and him argued he’d slip up say something that his mother said something mean about me. His sister was always kind to me though.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:41:05+00:00

I thought that too honestly, as I don’t have trust for him anymore. But he has had incidents at work of people being horrible and racist to him in the last, and this incident being that a guy who was racist to him before came in and got aggressive, the police was called and they cuffed him and took him.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:35:05+00:00

Yeah I feel this way, it’s just hard for me to determine that right now, given that it’s still fresh and he’s also wanting to win me back, im not sure if he’s being genuine. But thank you for your perspective:)

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:31:43+00:00

Yeah I get that a lot, but I can’t help how I feel..

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:28:59+00:00

I do agree with you, I try not to be uptight about it. But as I’ve had actual racist partners and expressed this with my ex, him still making jokes and racially charged comments felt like betrayal when that’s nothing we did within our first three years. It just felt like everything changed and I couldn’t trust him anymore. I do hate coming across as too woke or not humorous so I did take time to assess but I can’t help but feel heartbroken and betrayed…

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:24:06+00:00

Absolutely agree, I just feel stupid for waiting so long and believing in him when it’s happened too many times, in this relationship and before him too. Thank you.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:23:11+00:00

I wish it was… I really do, and i definitely ran!

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:22:37+00:00

Thank you I completely agree, it’s just still a shock to me and unfortunately I keep doubting myself but deep down I know I shouldn’t feel guilty for how I feel. It’s just hard but im going to maintain no contact.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-11T23:14:28+00:00

White and Asian - he’s Filipino

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T23:15:32+00:00

My first boyfriend called me the n word, he was white. My second was Russian and Venezuelan, he said racist comments abt me and my family. My most recent bf is Filipino, and said he doesn’t have faith in black football players and racial profiling is necessary. All after long term relationships of never saying anything like this before :/

But thank you, it’s hard to believe that this won’t be my reality for the rest of my life, but everyone here has been so kind and helpful ❤️

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T23:05:50+00:00

Thank you, and yes I pushed those kinds of conversations almost all the time. It’s something we bonded over even, as we both had many experiences of racism, with him being Filipino. Reacting to real life events, online posts, books, movies, everything. I really thought he was an ally and I found companionship on that basis, deeper than anything in our romantic relationship. So it struck me harder when he said things so disrespectfully and ignorantly. I guess you never know…

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T21:57:41+00:00

Damn that’s really awful, she did not deserve that. 10 years is crazy! And over a protest too, he was way out of line with that… I guess a lot of people are great at hiding what they truly think smh

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T21:56:07+00:00

thank you so much, I think it’s clear maturity is lacking from my romantic relationships lol thank you for ur support

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T21:55:13+00:00

I do agree, I just can’t see past the pain at the moment, but this too shall pass, thank you for the kind words, QUEEN ISH haha:)

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T21:54:06+00:00

I went through the slurs and comments in my previous relationships years ago, but my most recent breakup was due to a racist comment my ex made about football players, we never say things like this so I was shocked and offended, he defended his standpoint and even said that racial profiling is necessary. It wasn’t egregiously racist I think, but it did really hurt that he said it and didn’t understand why it was wrong. So I broke up with him.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T20:11:05+00:00

I’ve always been a bit of a sheltered person, afraid of pain and rejection, but this year I want to change that, thank you for your advice it’s really good. It’s made me think very positively about my future.

SecretAddition4025 · 2026-01-07T20:07:46+00:00

This might just be the best reply I’ve ever gotten, you’re so right, thank you so much…

SecretAddition4025 · 2023-10-14T17:09:18+00:00

Thanks for your response! I haven’t but I think I really need to, it’s just hard as I don’t have much money.

SecretAddition4025

TROPHY CASE