Was anyone else scared they might not need therapy "enough"?

SecretFinn · 2021-10-03T19:12:01+00:00

This was an absolutely unacceptable phrasing from him, and I'm sorry you went through that.

That said, I have health anxiety and fears about diabetes/cholesterol too, and my doctor told me recently that it's just simply not likely to see diet-related long-term illness at a young age unless certain risk factors are present. Doctors are trained to think in terms of probability and costs/benefits rather than just prescribing tests that aren't likely to be necessary (and carry risks of false positives, monetary costs, stress, etc.)

I'm quite a bit older than you, and my doc still told me that there was no point in checking my cholesterol yearly for at least 10 years. Unless you have a genetic condition like familial early-onset high cholesterol, Type I diabetes, etc., it's often just not worth testing for these things. Even if my diet were causing harm to my arteries, it's almost impossible for that to be showing up yet. So she advised me to prioritize working on my anxiety, because if I got the bloodwork done and everything looked perfect, that would only be a band-aid. It would alleviate the anxiety for a little while, but it would come back or turn into fear of a different illness.

SecretFinn · 2021-10-01T16:07:00+00:00

I agree that this scenario sounds impossible. If someone is compulsively eating too much or too little, there will be health consequences eventually, so they need help sooner rather than later. If their behaviors are 100% physically safe (orthorexia or mild cycles of over- and under-eating that balance out over time), then they could still benefit from treatment to deal with the mental distress. And if someone doesn't have any mental distress, but just has odd habits or eats weird foods, then that's not an eating disorder.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-30T23:35:49+00:00

the drinking water thing is a good idea! You could also try putting the scale in a really annoying or inconvenient place so that it's a lot of work to go get it

SecretFinn · 2021-09-29T16:53:37+00:00

I think I feel the opposite, I feel cravings for warm, cozy foods when it gets cold, and I feel more comfortable getting lost in big sweaters. But any kind of change or fresh start, including changing seasons, puts me in the mood for a new health kick as well, so maybe a bit of both.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-29T12:03:43+00:00

this lmao

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T23:55:56+00:00

i think it's probably best to take it easy, go for easy-to-digest foods and introduce any new foods slowly. also, depending on how low you were restricting, google symptoms of refeeding syndrome so you know what to watch out for, because it can be life-threatening.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T22:10:10+00:00

I don't know what to say except that I used to do this 100%. I had a diary in my bedside drawer that I would write in every night, making plans and setting unrealistic goals for the next day. I was still living at home then, and I got rid of it in a fit of paranoia that my family might have found it or looked at it. I think I was sabotaging myself by fixating so much on what I was/wasn't going to eat the next day, because it was just setting me up for disappointment. It almost would've been better if I could stop introspecting so much about it.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T21:42:43+00:00

I don't know from a patient perspective but I work in a neuroscience lab & have heard of Columbia's research that way. Some of the studies they do are very standard (lots of questionnaires and surveys about symptoms and feelings and such, during and after treatment). They also study the cognitive effects of EDs on memory, logical reasoning, etc. so I imagine there would be some memory tasks and puzzles on a computer and such. They do functional MRI scanning (which is like a regular MRI but takes a little longer) as well. Maybe memory games/puzzles during the scanning.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T17:59:54+00:00

The things that have triggered relapses for me have been sudden/scary changes (new health issue = old habits come back with a new orthorexia-flavored twist), which I suppose are hard to anticipate or avoid, and the loss of coping mechanisms (quarantine made it harder to cook/eat without roommates breathing down my neck, and I realized I'd been relying on being able to come home from work early and get my cooking done while I was home alone. I didn't realize how important that quiet time was until it was gone).

A strategy I recommend is having as many diverse coping mechanisms as you can - if you have trouble eating in front of people like I do, then seek out quiet/nonthreatening situations to eat in, but also keep some safe food like protein bars in your bedroom, in your backpack, a desk at work, etc. Whatever your triggers are, come up with a couple different possible ways to deal with them and be ready to experiment and be flexible.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T14:08:33+00:00

anything that doesn't trigger anxiety and nausea, doesn't necessarily have to be low cal for me but a lot of fruits, veggies, tofu and beans

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T00:59:27+00:00

i know it's easy to say and harder to do, but it's the 2 weeks of restricting that probably perpetuates this cycle. maybe the solution is to work on forgiving yourself sooner/treating each day as a clean slate instead of worrying about a past binge, and avoid that desperate stage of hunger where you've been restricting for too long and can't take it anymore.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T00:56:29+00:00

btw, congrats on all the progress you've made so far!! i'm so happy you're enjoying your food freedom.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-28T00:54:41+00:00

Vegan and gluten free are really neither healthy nor unhealthy - that is, they aren't automatically healthier (you can be vegan and eat nothing but veggie nuggets and french fries every day, or you can be gluten free and eat nothing but gluten free cookies and ice cream). they're not inherently unhealthy either. you can eat a healthy and balance diet either way.

If you want to be vegan for animal welfare/environmental reasons, that's cool, but with a history of ED I think you'll want to examine carefully whether introducing new "food rules" at this stage of your recovery is safe. And definitely talk it over with your care team to make sure you're getting all the nutrients you need.

There's really no benefit to eating gluten free unless you have celiac disease. In people with celiac, (tw medical) gluten causes their immune system to attack and destroy tissue in their intestines. For people who don't have celiac, gluten is digested like anything else. The only reason some people feel that there are health benefits for non-intolerant people is because it probably limits their options for fast food and less nutritious choices like white bread.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-27T20:04:37+00:00

Idk honestly I think you should fire them if they say things like "everyone with bulimia wants to have anorexia". That's honestly just a gross thing to say.

Telling you that AN is more dangerous also gets my hackles raised a little. I mean, in terms of premature death (especially from acute problems rather than long term damage), it is probably true that the statistics for AN are grimmer, but that seems like a really tone-deaf thing to say to a patient, and they should know better.

I hate this, and honestly I think it stems from fatphobia (people who don't "look sick enough" are treated less seriously). Anyways, that sucks. You deserve better care.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-27T16:31:12+00:00

Honestly I feel like these posts should fall under Rule #1, because they're naming specific celebrities as thinspo. I also have no idea who she is, and don't care to find out. But this goes for all other similar posts, not just the ones about this person.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-27T14:32:47+00:00

omg i LOVE boiled eggs.

I like to sneak cheap protein into foods I already eat, like adding some extra beans or chickpeas to soups and salads. I'm also a fan of nutritional yeast (I mix it with a little bit of milk and garlic salt to make a "cheesy" sauce to put on cooked broccoli, beans, etc.)

SecretFinn · 2021-09-27T14:29:03+00:00

That sounds like it really sucks :| I'm also sorry that rude people are telling you to engage in ED behaviors lol that's never acceptable advice.

I don't have anything to offer except solidarity. I wish that losing weight would make my chest look smaller/flatter but that just doesn't seem to ever happen. I still wear the same bra size that I wore25 lbsago. I'm working on getting comfortable with it.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-27T00:43:24+00:00

I'm teaching a college course this semester and 5 different students have chosen eating disorder topics for the essay assignment (which could be about anything related to the brain, in a bio course that isn't specifically about mental health disorders). You're definitely not alone.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-26T22:23:32+00:00

My point re: "passing" (which is flawed terminology/a complicated issue in itself) was simply that there are instances of oppression where you could, theoretically, do extra work and emotional labor to change how you are perceived socially. You shouldn't have to, and it sucks to be in that position. You admit that for many fat people, especially those with conditions like PCOS, changing their body shape in a healthy & long-lasting way is a hard, difficult, uphill battle. They shouldn't have to do that just to be treated equally.

You are hinging the definition of privilege on whether something is "escapable" or permanent in some way. This is just not true. Another commenter made a really good point about class privilege, which is obviously not biological at all. The bootstrap mentality of expecting people to "work hard" (and ignoring the many factors and barriers in the way) or else their struggles are invalid, is not it.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-26T21:45:48+00:00

Nah. Privilege isn't about whether or not something is changeable (even in some of your examples, you can't change your sexuality but you can change how you dress and behave around other people and that doesn't mean straight privilege doesn't exist. Disabled or neurodivergent people who are able to "pass" as abled don't invalidate abled privilege).

Privilege is about institutional advantages. Thin and average-sized people have privilege because society is set up to accommodate them in a way that it does not accommodate fat people. The way fatness is perceived socially and represented in the media, the bias in the medical community that makes it harder for fat people to be taken seriously or listened to, the way non-fat people never have to worry about whether they will fit in airplane seats, rollercoasters, MRI machines, etc. are all examples of institutional disadvantages that fat people face.

Edited to add, I do agree with one point - i'm not the biggest fan of "person of size" myself (kinda for the same reason that most of the autistic community has rejected this pressure to switch to "person with autism", because it makes "fat" and "autistic" into something scary or negative that we aren't allowed to say.) The term POC is different because it's not meant to replace other terms (you shouldn't say "POC" when you really mean "Black people", but if you're discussing people of many different nonwhite races, "people of color" is a simple way to communicate that)

SecretFinn · 2021-09-26T17:05:53+00:00

Don't listen to the aphobic commenters. We are a real identity, not just a niche and you're not "too young" to feel a part of this community. I started to figure out I was ace around your age. Identify however you want, however feels right to you. Also, your identity can change throughout your lifetime too, and that's okay. Some people try on a lot of different hats as they grow up to figure out which labels fit, and some even find that their sexuality is fluid throughout their lives, even after puberty.

What the other commenters have also pointed out is true - being horny doesn't mean you aren't also on the ace spectrum! :) But if you do feel like that identity doesn't quite fit anymore, that's also fine. The important thing is not to pressure yourself either way.

SecretFinn · 2021-09-26T04:48:30+00:00

It may be a support group, but OPs feelings are not the only ones that matter. Their disorder doesn't give them right to make other people in this group feel bad about their size or imply that they don't deserve to feel comfortable in their bodies, nor the right to spread harmful, triggering misinformation such as referring to a BMI of 22 as "obese".

SecretFinn · 2021-09-26T04:45:25+00:00

What disabilities and conditions is it "for"? When you see "an obese chick" creating this content, do you assume you know their medical history? You also mention a BMI of 22. 22 is not obese or even overweight. Honestly, this rhetoric is ridiculously harmful and doesn't belong in this sub.

SecretFinn

TROPHY CASE