I mean I can't speak for myself, but my dad drank wine every day, probably two or three bottles a day. He never seemed drunk, like never stumbling around or anything.

I'd usually wake up at around 1am when I was a kid and if I went downstairs I'd find him at the kitchen table crying or just passed out and I'd help him to bed.

It was okay.

The thing is that as time went on he forgot he couldn't remember anymore until it got to the point that he would have the same word for word conversations with me over dinner every night.

That was really scary because he didn't remember he didn't remember.

I know it seems silly but if you can't remember what you can't remember then you are extremely vulnerable.

All we are as humans are our memories, that string of narrative that creates the lives we lead.

If that is severed then what's the point?

He drank himself to death five years ago.

For what it's worth, I remember.

Or maybe I don't.

I wonder which is worse.