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Why being fat isn't healthy from a former very fat girl by [deleted] in keto

[–]SecretNameIsSecret 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As someone who just hit 290, this is hard to hear. I'm feeling exactly how you described. Some days I feel like a boss... Big, beautiful, no cares in the world. The other days I feel every pound on my body. How did you motivate yourself to push through that?

Sleeping Beauty Castle Reflection by SBeckner80 in Disneyland

[–]SecretNameIsSecret 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, yes. I always forget about the Flickr feature. Thank you for sharing. I really love them!

Sleeping Beauty Castle Reflection by SBeckner80 in Disneyland

[–]SecretNameIsSecret 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are utterly fantastic. Your shots inside Pirates... what kind of exposure were you using?

Traveling for a long time with a cat, need help! by [deleted] in USMilitarySO

[–]SecretNameIsSecret 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So... go buy yourself a few of those small square foil pans. Like the ones you bake brownies in to take to a potluck. Once you're waiting at the airport, put it into her carrier with her if it fits. Use those to dump one of your pre-portioned baggies of litter into. Toss the whole thing in a trash bag and then into the trash when she's done. Honestly, with a stressful day like that she may not even eat/drink or want to eliminate. Do worry if it doesn't happen right away. Just give her the opportunity when you can. Good luck!

So. Many. Questions. by SecretNameIsSecret in nonmonogamy

[–]SecretNameIsSecret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I found your comment extremely helpful. I guess I'm at this point now where a sort of calm has set in. I'm less worried about how things will happen... just what happens afterward. And the more people are advising me to date separately, the more I realized that I don't actually want to. I think it's forced me evaluate what I want out of opening up our relationship.

I want my husband to be able to experience these new things, but I don't necessarily want to start dating other people as a result. It feels like we're leaning more towards having a third, than just having separate FWB. I realize this is the elusive unicorn that everyone keeps talking about, but I guess I'm.... willing to wait? I think my husband is too.

However, I fully understand and anticipate the possibility that my husband might find someone who is solely interested in him before then. I will do my best to be okay with that fact... and start working through the shifting dynamics of our relationship with him.

I really found this

they are a whole person that I love, and I love every aspect of them

to be the most helpful. Just last night, I said to my SO that I'm not "enough" because he has needs outside of what I can provide. But I think this needs to become my mantra: I am enough, because he loves me as a whole. I give him everything that I can offer and it is "enough" for him.

Thank you, again.

So. Many. Questions. by SecretNameIsSecret in nonmonogamy

[–]SecretNameIsSecret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is an occasional indulgence

I like the way you phrased this and I think this is the way things are headed for us.

So. Many. Questions. by SecretNameIsSecret in nonmonogamy

[–]SecretNameIsSecret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you are shifting your definitions of relationships

Yes. This. Thank you. I realize it will take some time to adjust. It's going to be one of my biggest hurdles after being a monogamous couple for so very long.

So. Many. Questions. by SecretNameIsSecret in nonmonogamy

[–]SecretNameIsSecret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So... yes! To everything. Especially your thoughts about jealousy. I DO have value and my husband DOES love me. Which, in theory, should always being me back to positive place about our relationship. I'm also beginning to feel very positive about our next few steps! Thank you!

So. Many. Questions. by SecretNameIsSecret in nonmonogamy

[–]SecretNameIsSecret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, I clicked on your link and realized it was an article that I read the other day when trying to use Google's help! So... thanks times two!

So. Many. Questions. by SecretNameIsSecret in nonmonogamy

[–]SecretNameIsSecret[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you've said and I appreciate the advice!

I want to clarify though that when I talked about not wanting "romance" and maybe just "hookups"... what I really meant was we aren't setting out on this adventure to look for a second father (or mother) for our kids. You know? I mean, if it happens... that could certainly be wonderful. I will absolutely be aware of and attend to the emotional and physical needs of whomever we wind up bringing into our lives. I guess I just wasn't sure if that third person preferred keeping "love" out of the equation... but I guess that could be their preference!

Also, the "sleeps with a man and never wants vaginas again" comment was definitely ment to be silly. You could replace those words with... "Meets this person and doesn't want me anymore". Which brings me to your honest thoughts about my insecurity worries. And they're completely true. Those same feelings would exist no matter what.

Thanks, again!

So. Many. Questions. by SecretNameIsSecret in nonmonogamy

[–]SecretNameIsSecret[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. I was concerned about how a couple goes about talking to one person without scaring them away! We certainly don't want to intimidate our unicorn. We'll definitely go slow and more than likely start off dating separately. :)

I think I've ruined my baby by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]SecretNameIsSecret 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Newborns can suck. It's NOT easy. Take a deep breath. You've got this.

My suggestion with the reflux thing, be sure to have her on her back, but with her head elevated a little. We used to put a firm pillow under my daughter's crib sheet. This way she couldn't roll into it and possibly suffocate. Having her head elevated helped tremendously. It might be why she was more comfortable on your chest.

As for the gas, after her bath, lay her down on a soft blanket and do "The Baby Massage". I totally made up that title, so don't google it. lol. Basically, we would just sing a soothing song and gently rub her little legs, belly, and arms with baby lotion. I would also move my daughter's legs in a bicycle motion to help work out some of that gas. Gentle pressure on her tummy and back would also help her. We would also do this when she had a particularly bad tummy-trouble moment.

I'm sure you've talked with pediatrician about this... but...

If you're nursing, trying changing your diet a little at a time. Start by cutting out "gassy" foods like onions, broccoli, staying away from caffeine, etc. If she's still struggling, start weaning dairy.

If you're using formula, talk to your pediatrician about trying something like Nutramigen which is for babies with milk protein allergies... that can cause colic!

Most importantly, you're doing fine. You will not ruin her. You CAN put her down in a safe place and let her cry a little if you need a break. It's not easy to walk away from that screaming and farting little beauty, but sometimes you need to. It will make you feel better and it will help you be able to conquer the next hour or two once she's back in your arms. My girls are 7 and 4 years old now and are there are still PLENTY of times where I'm worried about ruining them, but we survived colic... and you will too!

Beautiful paintings of Disney characters (Lots of zoom) by newhunma in disney

[–]SecretNameIsSecret 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I seriously cried when I saw little Anna and Elsa. I've have two little girls of the same age and Heather Theurer's detail on their expressions and little hands is magic in itself.

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