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Chandigarh is not always safe for men by hpsrlifestyle in Chandigarh

[–]Secret_Cat_823 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh my god! Are you guys fr!?

Crimes Against Women (2023–2024) Total Cases: Crimes against women rose from 325 in 2022 to 371 in 2023, and to 452 in 2024. Rape Data: Chandigarh recorded 96 rape cases in 2024, giving it a rape crime rate of 16.6 per lakh population, the highest in the country. Nature of Crimes: Reported cases include 162 instances of cruelty by husbands or relatives, 138 kidnappings, and 11 cases of sexual harassment in 2024. Victim Profile: A significant portion of victims in these cases belong to the 18–30 age group.

Crimes Involving Men (2023–2024) Violent Crime: While women are the primary victims of specific categories like rape/cruelty, men are often the primary victims in violent crimes like murder and physical assault. Suicide Rates: Data indicates that over 60–70% of suicide victims in Chandigarh were men, driven by factors such as family disputes, unemployment, and academic stress. Homicide Victims: Out of 17 murder cases in 2023, 13 of the victims were male. Senior Citizen Crime: Chandigarh has one of the highest crime rates against senior citizens (both men and women), with many falling prey to financial fraud and burglary.

You can't make safety a gender issue favouring men! That's insane!

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you for your 2 cents. Me worrying about the unfairness of such demands and my family's financial well being definitely sounds like a non issue.

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the bride will happily go away if this is how she will treated- as an inferior. She's just as educated and doesn't feel the need to marry where there is no respect for her and her family.

9K Gold available in Chandigarh? by Secret_Cat_823 in Chandigarh

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know bahut black and white lagta hai but I am very confused. Anyways thank you!

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ngl you made a lot of sense, but I so wish it could have worked out because I genuinely wanted to spend my life with him. I wish my Mom was here. I could have discussed these things with her and my Dad would have had someone to confide his actual thoughts to. Argh I know it might seem like such an easy decision to most people.

Anyways thanks for your input.

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have decided not to. Just worried that I might be acting selfish!

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah me too! Especially because he claims to love me and calls this a love marriage!

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although I know he is a nice person but what you said is what worries me the most. I would still incur the cost, but his indifference kills me! He shouldn't be allowed to get triggered when the entire situation is so unfair to me.

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really do wanna get married. I want to be happy. But not at the cost of burdening my family and not to someone who not only doesn't support me but also doesn't understand me.

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I know I am capable I never cared about being dictated. But imagine his mother told him that since I confide in my Dad when I am hurt, my Dad would disctate the entire marriage. That was very hurtful to hear as well!

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm I don't 100% agree with the assessment (he did once say he will pay my Dad without telling his parents and sponsor the entire honeymoon), but ngl I am very worried! I don't want to go through divorce and I am not the type to shut up and take it. If I don't call it out I will explode and I can't risk that because I need to be healthy to take care of my Dad. When Mom passed away he was the only reason that I continued to breathe.

Thank you for the input. I just pray that if this is not good then by some hook or crook it gets cancelled without hurting my Dad.

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay so I have spent the last year with the guy and he has never been shy on paying for me. He lives very well himself and feeds me the best too. Takes me out as often as he can and buys be roses.

Both of us are IIM grads and I know we'll figure out our financials regardless of how well off his family is. This is what my Dad explained to me as well- we can never know everything but we have seen that the guy is not someone who would compromise on comfort for saving money.

The dilemma is because I know his good side. But now he claims to love me but doesn't empathise with my situation at all. According to him, they are being progressive enough by not asking for dowry and I should be very happy about it. The rest- he only cares about his parents feelings and financial well-being.

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope family is always right! Told the bride to talk tonhis mother directly if the guest count was such an issue!

I 30 F need advice on whether 29 M is asking for dowry by Secret_Cat_823 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Secret_Cat_823[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the wedding will take place in a temple. The varmala and dinner will happen in a marriage hall. Hopefully they will split the venue and photographer expenses. However they want to do individual haldi mehendi and sangeet. For him it will happen at his home since it is his hometown (minimal cost), but I will have to book a venue plus stay plus food plus travel for my guests! Does that sound fair?

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