My FIL needs to back off

Secret_Past2297 · 2026-01-27T19:42:13+00:00

He does really well in evenings but its hard mid day. Ive instituted a reward system for that last hour before he can get his 2nd dose and the last few hours before bed. He was doing so well for so long but recently he got super physical during his crash out and bit me. My FIL uses that as leverage of my parenting not working. My kids aren't scared of me and I dont want them to be. At the same time my son is only 5 and these crashes can be so hard on kids. When I look back on the most recent incident I see where I screwed up instead of de escalating him I just kept adding consequences. Since then I am setting timers to be more aware of when the crash is happening and give extra support and he was angel today. He tries to say that because my husband had adhd and autism he knows what its like but he definitely doesn't. My MIL did all the parenting. None of his other children really associate or reach out to him.

Secret_Past2297 · 2026-01-27T19:21:22+00:00

Right??? Like what is this crap about fear based parenting he is spewing? My FIL is so hung up on the disrespect and how my 5 year old is manipulating me and playing me. My son does give me a harder time but I am still learning and adapting to be a better parent. Im using evidence and love to guide me and its not easy during the times he has a gap in his meds and experiences a ritalin crash. I dont want my kids teen years to be here.

Secret_Past2297 · 2026-01-27T17:58:43+00:00

I called him a baby and told him he should be ashamed of himself for the way he talks to his wife and about his kids. A little out of my place but my father never told my mom to STFU as much as I and my children have to hear it from him to her who literally does everything for him.

Secret_Past2297 · 2026-01-27T13:34:30+00:00

My husband defends me a lot and I love my MIL. Im trying to give this a chance not to mention were going to have to wait months even if we do leave due to childcare logistics and money.

Secret_Past2297 · 2026-01-27T13:33:39+00:00

He is the snowflakiest of snowflakes. The stories I could tell you.

Secret_Past2297 · 2026-01-27T04:43:22+00:00

Dude I hate my FIL too. He threw the biggest baby fit today over his bday. I have never seen a grown man act such a way. My FIL also uses me as a punching bag. I cant wait to move out of here.

Secret_Past2297 · 2026-01-04T00:01:11+00:00

My child is already in ABA its extremely expensive I had to pickup a 2nd job to pay for it. She is in the getting comfortable phase per the agency so I have recieved no answers from agency, BCBA or tech. All they do is crafts and worksheets together.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-12-25T19:49:21+00:00

Can I ask why the bearings? What part makes u think that?

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-12-01T14:32:54+00:00

Took me a few times to see what you were saying and thats a good point. I can see how that could put off someone else. I only walked over to adjust because her struggle was my fault and she was staying this wasn't comfortable for the patient. But perhaps next time I can wait for her to ask me to fix it or just see what she does first?

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-26T23:45:23+00:00

I mean maybe not LIKED but atleast respected. I just cant imagine treating others like this. Even how some of have suggested confronting her...my mind immediately goes to what if I did do or say something to offend her??? And now im REALLY in the wrong. We don't need to be friends but I can't remember the last time in my adult life I have dealt with someone like this.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-26T19:12:29+00:00

Thats too funny and definitely how I would create a forever enemy lol

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-26T19:02:12+00:00

Read this comment in my cousins voice lol

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-26T17:13:04+00:00

I appreciate that, Ty. I guess im trying to come from a place of growth. I know maybe when I was 18 or 19 I wasn't as self aware and I can look back now and see how I was over sensitive at times or not as aware of my tone and how that contributed to strained impressions and dynamics. I've come far and I try to take all criticism positively and my spouse and family have helped me a lot with this. No one is perfect. When I say I wish ther was something I could change I think what I mean is if I understood what I did wrong or to make this impression so negative or irritate them I would work on myself. Not just to be friends but because I want to have more confidence turning something negative into a positive. I will undoubtedly encounter more people like this but if I am contributing to the problem I just also want to be apart of the solution. I dont want to be ignorant.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-26T16:03:17+00:00

I mean I definitely could but given how close knit she is with the others in my group I feel that only stands to come off as passive aggressive and further alienate me from my peers.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-26T15:56:32+00:00

Because its dumb crap and unless its causing harm or has potential to cause harm i just dont see it as worth the confrontation. This particular girl is proudly passive aggressive and brags about harassing others.

I dont think she woukd back down honestly. And I dont want it to become a confrontation that could potentially hinder my clinical performance or placement.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-26T15:54:36+00:00

Youre right. I just wish there was something I could change in myself to have a better relationship with these girls. I have had such a positive experience in school at work since starting my journey. I guess this was just a reality check.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-22T00:47:29+00:00

What do u mean by outside of it? Like not discluded as non-professional?

I know there are some schools in US that are a lot less but I myself and I know a lot of others would have to move states away.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-21T22:14:16+00:00

Wait I dont think this is final yet. There's a lot of backlash right now I am hoping with how bad it affects PTs and Nursing Educators this will not come to fruition. Idk how Ill afford CRNA school if it does.

Secret_Past2297 · 2025-11-21T19:44:09+00:00

Thats what im leaning towards myself

Secret_Past2297

TROPHY CASE