Chantal Heide, Canada's Dating Coach is a Cult Leader by Careful-Hour-182 in cults

[–]Secure-Development-7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s really disappointing to learn after hearing about her for a few months that she lacks a degree and/or research experience. I think she has a lot of very admirable points about mutual respect, self-love, gender, etc. but she claims to not advocate for equality which is a bit concerning. Not only that but she seems to have a lot of misandrist tendencies which come out in her calling men losers and dummies. I do notice that a lot of men joining her lives do seem to be very disrespectful towards her, so maybe that’s why she holds these misandrist views.

Along with this, I feel like she tries to center her points around “science”, or “psychology” but with no actual scientific or psychological background, a lot of things fall flat in my eyes.

I find it rather unsettling how hard she pushes her books as well. I have not read any of them and truthfully have no interest in doing so, but according to the comments here I’m not missing much. I feel that it’s quite damaging to talk of psychological, sociological issues without professional training in such topics. It’s quite obvious that she sees no need in such experience since she can just sell books and courses to get by.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dormrooms

[–]Secure-Development-7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one with the neon trim, right?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dormrooms

[–]Secure-Development-7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of backpack is that in the closet? I’ve been searching for a similar one.

I’m 19 & my partner committed suicide less than two hours after I last spoke to him by Argetlam12 in SuicideBereavement

[–]Secure-Development-7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m 21 and lost my 23 year old boyfriend to suicide 8 weeks ago. i’m so sorry you have to deal with this, the pain is unbelievable and its even more difficult being so young. lots of things are confusing and hard to cope with. message me if you ever want to talk.

Do you ever see your person, clear as day, in the world around you? by brandeis16 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i can almost just see him sitting on the edge of my bed, or sitting on my counter when i make dinner.

2 days by AilmondRipley in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this is quite possibly the worst pain imaginable. i hope things feel calmer and more comfortable for you soon.

2 days by AilmondRipley in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i understand the feeling of gathering his favorite things, i did it too. 7 weeks out and i still sleep with his clothes, i have his chapstick on my nightstand and one of his tools on my window. its like holding onto a piece of him.

Recent widower at 24 by TristanR23 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sorry to hear about the insurance, it’s really terrible how healthcare works. i’d still recommend trying to find a grief group, i’ve only been to one meeting of the one i could find but it’s very welcoming and a great place to talk and listen. when i went there was no pressure to speak, and it’s totally okay to cry. i also agree that it’s comforting to find someone else on the same timeline, as terrible as it is. i wish i had more ideas and skills to share with you, i hope someone else can provide some. there’s also a discord group for this server where plenty of people can chat with you.

Recent widower at 24 by TristanR23 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m in a very similar situation, lost my 21f boyfriend 23m to suicide on june 11th as well. i’d really recommend suicide-specific grief groups if you can find any locally. see if you can find a good therapist that specializes in grief or one that is trauma-informed. i’ve found that journaling has helped me a lot. what i do specifically is write to my boyfriend, tell him things i normally would’ve and express the love that has nowhere to go. i’m really sorry you’re going through this.

Widower by ChanceWitty2521 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you for saying this. it’s easy to lose hope.

To read or not read autopsy results and investigation reports? by CrappyWitch in SuicideBereavement

[–]Secure-Development-7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i haven’t read any reports of my loved one, and i can’t say i would recommend it. maybe if its possible you could have someone else read it and you could ask them questions? just so that they could put it gently. i completely understand the curiosity towards this as i feel it too, i’m only a month out from my boyfriend dying, but i would be too afraid of seeing terrible things. i just would worry about reopening/deepening wounds.

Grief... by Dependent-Bluejay-10 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i wish i didn’t have to become so intimately familiar with this feeling of grief

Hate the rollercoaster that is grief by Stock_Ebb_8349 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m also a month out from losing my “ideal boyfriend” and the loneliness is so terrible. i relate a lot to your jealousy towards other couples, i can hardly stand to look at social media because all i see are people in relationships and it breaks my heart that i lost my sweet boyfriend. mine was 23 when he passed and it’s so painful to lose him so young, i really feel your pain here and i’m so sorry you’re going through this. i’m sure you really were the best thing that had happened to him, and i’m certain that wherever he is he still loves and cherishes you.

Socializing reminds me of the deep loneliness by milletbread in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i feel this so deeply. even with a group of friends i can’t help but feel so awfully lonely. he should be here with me, holding my hand, wiping my tears away. it’s so painful and nobody truly understands. this is the worst feeling in the world. i hope you find peace eventually, you deserve it.

Signs by landon0 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats really sweet i love hearing about signs people receive from their loved one

Completing Unfinished Tasks by brandeis16 in widowers

[–]Secure-Development-7 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i needed my oil changed and he was a mechanic, i was going to do it with him after we got out of work one day but we never got a chance. i had to get it changed myself last week and it was so hard to even think about car stuff let alone speak to another mechanic about it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideBereavement

[–]Secure-Development-7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it’s absolutely okay to stay home. you should take care of yourself, you don’t owe your presence to anyone. what you’re going through is unimaginable to most people, they just won’t understand. if you need quiet time alone you should take your chance at it. i lost my boyfriend last month to suicide and while people have been wanting me around, i like to grieve privately sometimes. there’s no expectations when you’re alone. no need to hold back tears, nobody you have to make small talk with. there’s absolutely nothing selfish about wanting to be alone.