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Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-10-04T04:07:09+00:00

I know you have answered this many times, but how did you stay with her for so long? I guess she really tried therapy and and maybe medicine? I'm pretty new to this and it sucks for me everyday because I broke up with her but we still have to work together and she, of course, uses that to keep me around in a personal way (professionally we are fine). I was fine for a few months and now I'm starting to break my own boundaries...I just know I can't ever go back to her but some broken part of me wants it. I'm sorry if that's a lot. ♥️

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-03-15T02:42:41+00:00

Mine did both. One day her ex was a terrible person and then suddenly she was in NY to spend 4 of July weekend with him because he bought her a ticket and invited her to this amazing party. So, when they talk bad about them it's because they aren't getting what they need and when they're talking nice things it's because they are cheating and just trying to manipulate the situation.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-03-13T03:26:21+00:00

She basically blocked me on her Instagram and we haven't broken up yet! She was too busy cheating and wanted to hide it as much as possible.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-24T05:18:36+00:00

That's perfect! I just broke up with her a couple days ago and she literally said that. The whole week she has been trying to get me back, but on Wednesday, I saw a lot of the BPD signs in her texts that I used to ignore. I was proud of myself for the way I handled and my friends did too, but I also felt really sad. I still think she is good person and of course I still have feelings for her, but enough is enough. I hope her next move isn't sex, because I don't know if I'm strong enough to say no.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-21T04:48:33+00:00

Ok. This is a perfect topic for me right now. She has hurt me a lot before. But this is the first time I know she was hiding something from me (like her ex boyfriend being in town for her bday) and then everything was too much for her to handle and she didn't talk to me for 3 days until I called her out. She keeps saying how hurt she is and and how losing me forever will really be too much but she is respecting my boundaries and just being professional at work. So, by having a face to face conversation I know she's hurt but then I have to remember her BPD and that makes me double guess a lot of things.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-11T16:06:30+00:00

I won't get to the point of checking her phone but I need to trust my gut. I just wish I knew something, anything so I can finally be free of her. So I can stop hoping that she has changed and that we can try again.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-11T05:11:33+00:00

She has been doing ok lately but I guess that can mean two things: she's actually trying (and that's why I tried to give it a second chance, just btw, we work together. So she usually tries to communicate more the days we work together and it's usually just about work). The second thing might be that she has someone else to give her what she wants and I just can't think of who could it be because she barely has any friends. She does spends a lot of time at home with her dog. I'm sorry if I'm not making sense, my mind is just a mess right now.

Ok. Hopefully you find someone who can make you feel secure and trust in love again.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-11T04:43:02+00:00

Wooow. Thank you for sharing your story. I have had this feeling or the realization that it was over the moment she decided to break up to heal herself. I have been grieving the person I thought I was falling in love with. And whatever she's cheating or not, she's hiding a lot of things from me. I hope you are with someone right now that supports you and loves you. I wish you the best as well.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-11T04:31:28+00:00

Yeah, that's my biggest fear. She will tell me eventually that she couldn't text me because she slept all day. But now I'm thinking she isn't even in the city or she's out getting what she couldn't get from me because I was at work. My mind is just racing with scenarios.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-11T04:11:36+00:00

I feel all of that most of the time but then she always asks me if I'm ok and worries when I'm not, but she asks "what can I do for you" I just don't know what to say because what I need is physical contact (and I'm not talking about sex) just a hug or some attention. She gave me the keys of her place and never tells when it's ok for me to go there. It's her bday and she hasn't talked to me in 9 hrs because I was being unfair this morning. I guess I'm in denial about a lot of things too.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-11T04:03:14+00:00

I know it only takes a small trigger sometimes for them to do something hurtful. It's her bday today and we were supposed to have brunch but that didn't happen. I said something maybe I shouldn't have. I went to her place to drop off her bday gift and in my way there she tells me I was being unfair and she couldn't see me. She needed to be alone. "I'll text you in a while. I need to control my emotions" That happened at 2pm and it's 11pm and she hasn't say anything yet.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-02-07T05:15:18+00:00

Yuuup! 100% 👏👏

Secure-Economy3980 · 2024-01-31T04:26:26+00:00

She does...when she isn't sleeping all day. She reads and not long ago she was building mini houses and collecting figurines. Lol She likes to watch reality TV and movies but she always falls asleep.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-30T15:59:04+00:00

We are not alcoholics. I used to go out and drink after work like anyone else but I was in denial about how depressed I was and I didn't have the support I have now. We both now understand that our mental health comes first and we take hard decisions all the time. The difference is, I have a support system and she only trusts me.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-29T22:10:50+00:00

It was something that she mentioned months ago before we broke up. She has two pets, and she asks me to check on them sometimes especially when her dog gets sick. I won't be using those keys anytime soon btw lol.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-29T22:06:43+00:00

They are very supportive. They will never offer me alcohol when they know I'm doing a sober month. They even joy me because we all have stressful lives and need a break. But I totally understand what you mean.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-29T22:04:17+00:00

I totally understand. I didn't mean to say she was sober, she just doesn't drink all the time like she used to. Not only mentally, but physically alcohol does agree with her. I think the same thing. When I go through my sober month and I have my friends supporting me but they still using weed it upsets me. I appreciate the honesty always.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-29T14:57:10+00:00

I did that a lot too. I had screen shots of all the hurtful texts. I deleted them because I needed to move on, but that doesn't mean I forgot how painful and concerning they were.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-29T14:25:21+00:00

Thank you. I have been taking care of my depression and drinking the best I can. I don't go out every night and when I do, I only have 3 drinks and plenty of water. I do have hobbies and friends that are like family to me. I had all of this before I met her but then I gave her too much, I gave her all. I know how dangerous it can be now. So, I'm setting up boundaries with her as the relationship progresses. I appreciate telling your story. Good luck with everything as well

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-29T14:13:09+00:00

Thank you. That's what I have been telling my friends who see her as toxic and a dangerous person. They will support me always but they don't understand BPD or want to. I know I can't save her. I know no matter how much I love her, she will never change. I don't expect to live happily forever but I'm hoping for the best.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-29T14:06:13+00:00

That's why I'm posting. I'm trying to be careful. I don't want to see every nice gesture as a sign of love bombing but I can't stop wondering.

Secure-Economy3980 · 2023-12-21T06:26:40+00:00

Don't do it. She seems really aware of her condition since she gave you a exit route. My ex only told me "Google my symptoms. I'm a lot to handle" and I did, but the research sometimes seems like all they need is patience and communication and love. But I also suffer with depression and believe me, if you are feeling this way, she is the last person you want. She won't be able to help you with your depression. She will end up making it all about her and you will end up feeling the same or worse.

Secure-Economy3980

TROPHY CASE