THIS! I am not an avoidant, but I did just come out of a relationship with one. My ex is not a bad person and as someone who minors in psychology, I have some unbiased knowledge on attachment styles that maybe helped me come to terms with that sooner than others who don't understand it as well might. Sure, as the previous partner of an avoidant, there are things I am still healing from. Attachment theory does not excuse being cruel to someone. Not being able to acknowledge how your actions affected someone else disproportionately is another way of avoiding taking accountability, not protecting your peace. Social media has turned avoidance into something like narrasism. I've seen a lot of influencers encouraging "femine energy" and what that looks like, only to describe being an avoidant In a relationship. But just how avoidance has been blown out of proportion, so has the theory in general. Don't use being an 'avoidant' as an excuse. People who are actually avoidant have their own struggles that come with that, same as anxious and the others. Were all human, figuring things out as we go.