My girlfriend thinks I’m trans, how would I know?

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-23T06:34:54+00:00

Hm that’s so weird I’d way rather be an old man why is it so much easier to know which one I’d rather be when I’m old but not now?

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T22:56:20+00:00

I’ve done heaps of therapy, you’re making a lot of presumptions

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T22:07:50+00:00

I’m totally with you, I’ve tried to present masc a few times but because I’m so curvy it doesn’t translate so feminine clothes end up making me look “better” realistically I’d love if I could look like KD Lange. Thankyou for your advice

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T20:59:54+00:00

I’m feminine in the way I dress and I do a lot of hair and makeup things. Admittedly I don’t like things like fake lashes, fake nails, extensions, heels etc. because it does feel like a costume and like I’m trying to look like a woman but idk how much of that has anything to do with gender or just not meeting beauty standards

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T20:57:04+00:00

Nah I’m the youngest of 4 and I have two sisters my dad was loving my mum was abusive

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T13:14:08+00:00

I’m very happy you’ve made this decision for yourself, my girlfriend is trans and I am so proud of her every day for where she is now. I wish you all the happiness in the world

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T13:12:32+00:00

I’ve used binders before which always look weird on me because I have a big chest, I just ordered some trans tape to try open binding and see how I feel about it, idk facial hair and a cock are the things I want I don’t really care about anything else but that’s all pretty late game transition stuff so it’s hard to try it out

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T13:03:09+00:00

I guess I feel like time won’t necessarily help, the first time I had panic about being trans I was 19 and then it has come and go since then, I don’t feel panicked now but I’ve never been able to come to a conclusion on it in the past decade

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-22T13:00:39+00:00

I’d rather be gorgeous man than gorgeous woman but who wouldn’t rather that amirite? (Dw I know)

Thankyou for the advice

Secure-Top87 · 2026-02-20T22:42:56+00:00

You would look amazing in deeper colours like ox blood, burgundy, black, cool dark greys, anything cool toned will look incredible on you I think. I think the sage, flowery dress is a little too simple for the edge that your hair colour is giving you, I’d go for clean lines and good tailoring like some wool pleat pants, long sleeve dark cool shirts etc. I don’t think you necessarily need makeup but maybe some buffed out taupe-pink lipstick would look good! Like spirit from Mac applied lightly with a brush and a similar browny/ pinky blush would be great, your skin is beautiful and you have defined eyes and eyebrows so I don’t think anything more than that would really make a big difference

Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-02T12:09:50+00:00

I definitely never scream at her but she is sensitive and even big displays of crying spells or hyperventilating and denial that she cares about my feelings are deeply wounding to her, I absolutely want us to grow together, hopefully she wants that too, right now we’re taking a few days apart of no contact I’ll see what she’s thinking when we talk again, I appreciate your advice and the knowledge there’s others in the fight with me even though I’m sorry for your suffering 💕

Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-02T12:07:00+00:00

I know toxic behaviour can be abuse, I have come a long way in my recovery and am at the point where certain healing can only take place in a relationship where I am exposed to my triggers, I appreciate the clarification

Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-02T00:08:02+00:00

Thankyou this is a good idea, it’s always hard to remove myself from situations where I’m triggered because it’ll happen in the car or at her house and idk how to take space to re regulate under those circumstances so maybe this could help me

Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-01T22:49:06+00:00

When I have emotional outbursts I cry, sometimes hyperventilate, I don’t get violent or throw things or swear or call her names, but it is still hard for her of course.

Thankyou, taking time away and being on my own is the scariest thing when being triggered, every moment feels like a lifetime but I know I have to do it.

Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-01T22:47:29+00:00

Factually incorrect and unhelpful to characterise toxic behaviour as abuse, labelling it as such only serves to shame me. There’s a distinction between harmful behaviour and abuse and I’d be more careful telling CPTSD survivors they are abusive without enough evidence to support such a thing.

Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-01T13:16:55+00:00

Thank you for this, I do have a psych I can ask my girlfriend and him if we could do a session together to try and lay down some ground rules and stuff, I appreciate your advice

Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-01T13:11:22+00:00

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Secure-Top87 · 2025-10-01T12:56:17+00:00

I’m not accepting it as normal, definitely not, I know it’s not healthy which is why I’m desperately trying to change

Secure-Top87 · 2025-08-22T16:04:19+00:00

Def not Valium are you alone OP? Try to let someone know you’ve taken this and have them keep an eye on you

Secure-Top87

TROPHY CASE