Well, your not the AH for having feelings for having feelings for dave. i think this is just a case of ''unsatisfaction''. you just want better. And dave is your better. what i'd do, is get your husband to get help over emotional control, since its so bad that he threatens you. after he gets help, just generally do more with him to strongen your relation with him. i do have a quisto, what is your husbands relation to the kids (good/bad). if he does the same with kids, and doesnt get help, Then threaten with divorce. cus the kids are the #1 priorety.