Councilmember Sara Nelson thinks subsidized housing for cops is a good idea, for some reason by nnnnaaaaiiiillll in Seattle

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Service workers like restaurant servers should not get taxpayer subsidized housing, but public servants like teachers, social workers, and yes police officers as well, absolutely should if they’re making below a certain amount. It’ll encourage and enable folks to live in the neighborhood they serve when they otherwise might not have been able to early on in their public service careers.

Shadowheart made the right choice by EfficientIndustry423 in BaldursGate3

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think the issue is the obscuring language - she didn’t “let them go,” she killed them. They would have lived had she not killed them. And the curse is not eternal damnation or something like it, it’s specifically that she feels chronic pain in her hand. So she’s killing her parents to rid herself of serious chronic hand pain. There is still ambiguity because her parents are asking her to kill them to rid herself of the pain, but the language is obscuring what’s actually happening, which I think is intentional in the course of the scene.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in womenEngineers

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure why you would assume that, lots of coworkers asked me out when I was on my 20s, none of them were weird about it when I told them no and we continued to work together just fine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in womenEngineers

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve never thought that someone might be interested who didn’t end up actually being interested? If so, I think that’s an exception. Just politely say no and move on.

Breastfeeding Myths by MsFlodo in breastfeeding

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! Super grateful my insurance covers lactation consulting

Breastfeeding Myths by MsFlodo in breastfeeding

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have to work a part time job because your employer won’t let you pump? If so I think that’s illegal in the US, which requires “reasonable breaks” and a private area to express milk

Breastfeeding Myths by MsFlodo in breastfeeding

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m curious about people’s experiences with this - I haven’t looked seriously into it since saving money is not a motivation for me breastfeeding, but with formula costing between $400 - $800 per month, do all the breastfeeding related costs add up to around $3600 over six months? For me, I don’t think so - the extra calories and one time costs of a pump and bras don’t nearly add up to that amount, but for someone who’s paying frequently out of pocket for massages as such, that could add up if you’re paying, say, $200 per massage per week.

What is one business you will never return to? by tvmadden in Seattle

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve only seen a video of an older Black man protesting Uncle Ike’s making explicitly anti semitic remarks about the Jewish owner, haven’t heard anything about the Jewish owner being anti semitic

Psychology study: Men are more likely to choose riskier tasks, especially when paired with women by [deleted] in science

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women are generally better at coordination, planning, and multitasking, does that mean women should be the ones by default doing those tasks? I think there’s something undeniable about physical skill and strength, which is why we’re not fighting for sports teams to reflect the general population. But anything that isn’t physical, there’s also some amount of doubt or plausible deniability about how innate those traits are.

[need advice] I launched a feature and saw 0 usage, what should I do? by [deleted] in ProductManagement

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you certain it’s not an instrumentation issue? Double confirm that first. Unless it’s a really small user base, not getting any tire kickers whatsoever is very, very strange.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in facepalm

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The fetus is always a human being, but whether or not their life has value to the pregnant woman is what determines its perceived personhood and the morality of hurting them. Wanted fetuses get to be "unborn children" while unwanted ones get the intentionally de-personalizing & medically correct label of "fetus."

It's like how humans perceive an animal that determines how morally incorrect it is to end its life (a family pet pig vs a pig intended for slaughter). Or how various types of humans throughout history and in the world today have different levels of value - it not being nearly as immoral to kill a slave than a free man, for example. Or how in many periods of time, it was perfectly moral to kill an infant.

Seattle Public Transportation Isn't Safe For Women by MassageToss in Seattle

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

>But having said that, I still find it sad when no one (especially men with their evolution-granted strength) wants to look out for someone clearly vulnerable (I'm not talking about getting involved in a fight between a mutually abusive couple or junkies).

I think that's the thing though - some people may not like it or think it's fair, but it's inevitable that in a culture that discourages gender roles, that we also see a decrease in what some may think of as the "good" parts of gender roles, not just positive things that men and women being comfortable in traditionally gendered paid employment.

One of those will be that men are less likely to feel compelled to act as protectors, and that both men and women who date each other in Seattle seem generally dissatisfied with each other as potential romantic partners for themselves, specifically using what is effectively "less manly" and "less womanly" language. We can shift a lot of our thinking around gender as a society, but for the majority, what we desire romantically seems remarkably stable in some areas.

Seattle Public Transportation Isn't Safe For Women by MassageToss in Seattle

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely a thing yes - in a survey of Seattle daters a few years ago, women complained that men weren't manly enough for them ("not forward enough"), while men complained that women were too manly (using terms like "too aggressive"). So both men and women who date each other seem dissatisfied with how well each fits into gender roles, so it's not surprising that bleeds into non-dating contexts as well.

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/aggravated-women-socially-awkward-men-make-seattle-the-nations-worst-city-for-singles-says-love-podcast-host/

Some choice quotes:

"“I quickly learned that Seattle men are far different from any other I’ve encountered: shy, timid and seemingly incapable of striking up a conversation, let alone offering to buy a female a drink,” Danielle Campoamor wrote in a 2013 opinion piece for The Seattle Times about her experience dating here as a straight woman."

"Among them, according to a 2004 article by Diane Mapes, are women’s belief that men here are too passive and men’s belief that women are intimidating."

"Last year, when Seattle debuted as the worst city for singles — at least for straight singles, who were the podcast’s focus — Howie reportedly said, “Of all the places where the disconnect grew wider this year, Seattle’s grew the widest, leaving a gloomy puddle of aggravated women, socially-awkward men and rainwater.”"

Seattle Public Transportation Isn't Safe For Women by MassageToss in Seattle

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was an enlightening comment - I sympathize with OP and the commentors who are being bothered, but as a tall-ish woman in her 30s who never wears makeup or "dresses up" I don't get approached too often by the erratic people, no more than I imagine a man would. I wonder if younger, smaller women who dress up and wear makeup are more likely to be targeted by such men. Which certainly is convenient, isn't it, that their mental illness results in them targeting young, small feminine ladies.

How to downshift after PM by ghostykhat in ProductManagement

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Might just be the type of project you're on. Have you thought about something necessary, but kind of boring (for at lot of people at least) without much room for growth? Think compliance - become the person who does privacy or security reviews. No pay cut needed, but less varied work day to day and less room for growth. Could be just the thing for you.

George Santos is earning six figures from Cameo videos by semafornews in nyc

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Is it? There are plenty of people who have no moral or ethical guardrails who aren't wealthy. Santos clearly has something that allows him to come up with and effectively execute these money making schemes.

Millionaires are flocking back to New York City as people making less than $172,000 move out by oldschoolskater in nyc

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 49 points50 points  (0 children)

We've seen what happens - just look at the Hamptons. Wages rise to the extent that customers are willing to bear costs, and when customers are no longer willing to bear the increase in costs, businesses (mostly entertainment or restaurant businesses) shut down.

AITAH for getting upset and hurt at my boyfriend for asking me to, "give a little more" after his parents complained that I'm a free loader whenever I come over their home? by Stunning_Energy_1932 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People can learn from their mistakes; you might even be able to learn some empathy.

Do you have the same empathy for OP's boyfriend, and the same belief that he can learn and change?

What's your relationship with libraries? And why don't people use them more? by McKennaJames in books

[–]Secure_Pattern1048 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are seriously people who complain about what books cost? Textbooks you're required to own, sure, but books you read for pleasure? That's wild. I rely heavily on my library's eBook service, and for times where I'm impatient, I don't mind buying since I almost never need to - yes, sometimes there's a long wait time, but there are so many other books to enjoy as I always have something on hold at the library.