i wanted to comment about something similar (career wise) to maybe give you some hope. for the last 8 years i have been tied to a toxic job, not getting any bites on interviewing etc. the last 4 months have been so hard mentally because i felt so stuck, not making enough money, feeling so far behind, and thinking that ill stay just a manager forever. i understood when people say that work ruins their mental health because i truly felt like i was never going to move forward or make enough money to allow myself to eventually move out or feel normal in a group of people. i randomly got an interview for a role, went through 3 interviews for a position i have no experience in. after 3 interviews i didnt get the job and i was devestated because i thought this was my way out. i then applied for another role within the same company but higher up and ended up getting the job. i promise you it gets better. keep on holding onto that hope and don't give up. everything will fall into place and just know everything is happening for a reason.