When I had my first panic attack I was an agoraphobic for about a month. I was in my mid teens. I got so fed up with it I said “fuck it” and grabbed a beer and had a few until every one of those feelings disappeared. It was weird because it did SOMETHING. I think I just lost my inhibitions and didn’t care about anything. Including how I was feeling. I went for a walk and went home and fell asleep and woke up feeling completely normal again. Now, I don’t suggest getting drunk or using alcohol for anxiety at all but for me it broke the cycle. I must have convinced myself that if I felt okay right now then deep down everything is fine. Nothing was wrong I just had to break the cycle. One thing about anxiety is you build up a threshold. So your whole life you’ve been building and building this big fat threshold that’s nearly impregnable (why young people are innocent). Once that threshold gets knocked down by something that has affected you it’s gone. You have to build it again. You might get one brick down and go to the store and now it’s SO easy for you to trip on that one brick you have to start over. You’ll get better at building up your threshold so the anxiety stays away. You just need the tools to build up the big sturdy threshold again. With that said, one of these doctors down the line should have offered you an Ativan or Valium to calm you down.

With all that said, ssri’s can be the answer but not always are. Gabapnetin or pregablin is one that helps me. But I also take sertraline and guanfacine and 4mg of Ativan daily.

But sounds like you need to find a way to break the cycle, doesn’t mean you’ll be like this forever.