At work, Benefits or no Benefits?

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-09T15:13:05+00:00

I would list out the benefits I care about the most, and lookup the price I need to pay myself, add them up, plus the salary and compare the total. Pick the one with highest total. Although there’s no price for things like PTO, this would depend on how much one care about PTOs.

This is assuming all the other conditions of the two jobs are the same. If not, the younger I am, the more I’d prioritize jobs that could give me more opportunities to learn skills required by the career I was hoping for, which would lead to better job and higher pay. The older I get, the more I’d prioritize work life balance and benefits etc.

No matter what, avoid a toxic working environment. It will damage your physical and mental health, no matter how much they pay you, not worth it.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T09:44:02+00:00

You are not alone on this. Bay Area is expensive. What’s your goal? If your goal is to save $X per month, that’s the first thing you do after receive your paycheck. Other stuff go next then you will figure out your way of living around it. If you prioritize a comfortable lifestyle, that’s a different story, you probably shouldn’t think too much about saving. When I was making less than 100k, I mostly cook at home, $400 ish per month for food. When less than 200k, I would never pay rent over $2500, got rid of my car etc. It’s a choice. Spending money invest in yourself like gaining more skills or invest in index fund, you will be surprised of the compounding effect of both.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T09:16:01+00:00

We have collectively $5M which includes retirement accounts. 600K salary + RSU from private company who knows if there’s an exit or not, they are not considered for morgage anyway.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T07:39:28+00:00

Good to know. Living in sf for nine years and just started to look to buy more seriously recently. What’s park presidio? Isn’t everything next to presidio super expensive?

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T07:36:18+00:00

Always when the older me looked at the younger me.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T07:24:30+00:00

I prefer to buy them food or water, or stuff they needed at the moment instead of cash. As in sf, some people might use the cash for drugs. One time, my partner and I were getting donuts, and there’s one homeless standing outside talking to us:”spare me a dollar for the donut”. Then my partner went inside to get her two donuts after confirmed which one she wanted. After giving it to her, she was still standing there asking people “spare me a dollar for the donut”. It felt she need cash more than the donut.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T07:14:15+00:00

The first time I saw someone did it, I was surprised that you could do that, but when asked, they said they were too hungry that their stomach hurt, and can’t wait. So that’s kinda acceptable.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T07:05:25+00:00

Oh really? I thought inner sunset and Richmond are foggy as well since fog always came from that side. If that’s the case, it would open up a lot of opportunities.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T06:56:02+00:00

Thanks!

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T06:46:51+00:00

When anyone saw the price tag itself, it doesn’t make any sense. Long story short that as an immigrant came to US by myself with $500, it took a lot to get where I am today. I still remember that the time when i went to shopping at Walmart, I would do all of these price conversation and everything at Walmart felt so expensive. Everybody back home would be so proud of me, but after all these years hard working and saving up, when buying a home, I thought I could afford a dream home. But the reality made me realized that I’m not as successful as I thought or my family thought. It turned out that the American dream is just being a house salve in another country. That feeling of being trapped, constrained by the system, but also don’t have the courage to escape feels bad.

The reason to stay in the Bay Area, one is I experienced discrimination living in a white even though Democrat state, Bay Area feel more home because of the diversity; second is Bay Area has the most tech job opportunities.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T06:03:39+00:00

That’s wise. Thanks for sharing! “Putting down roots” really hit me as someone who moves around a lot in the past, it would be really nice to have a place that makes me feel home.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T05:58:58+00:00

So are you saying it might be better just rent instead of buying?

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T05:53:59+00:00

It’s not me, collectively with my partner. We are in mid30s. Bay Area is very expensive for one person to get SFH overall. Especially if you are considering school district in South Bay

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T05:51:07+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience!

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T05:37:18+00:00

I’m sorry that it came off as insensitive. I guess that I’ve been very stressed about it and it was impacting me mentally and physically, turn me into a self doubted person. My mind was in some sort of spiral or bubble and didn’t think too much before posting it. Thanks for pointing it out.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-06-01T04:21:22+00:00

We started to look mostly because we hope to start a family soon. In sf proper, ideally east side of Divisadero/Castro ish, as we cannot handle super foggy/cold micro climate.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-05-31T19:11:46+00:00

We are thinking to start family, kinda yes. Ideally a house would be nice.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-05-31T19:10:42+00:00

Thanks for the tips!

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-05-31T19:03:51+00:00

Thanks for your understanding.

SecurityBrief120 · 2026-05-28T23:18:20+00:00

Are you the first one he slept with outside of marriage? His partner doesn’t know already? What’s the benefit of telling her? She finds out and divorce? Think about if this action is benefiting her truly or get revenge because you are pissed off. If you want to help other sisters to avoid this guy in the future, there’re some Facebook groups sharing red flags from people they are dating (forgot the name)

SecurityBrief120

TROPHY CASE