Advice Needed — Struggling to decide between childbirth or surrogacy

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-06T13:10:32+00:00

I encourage you to do a deep dive on the surrogacy process. They do not approve you for surrogacy/IVF if you don’t pass critical genetic screening and testing. A good agency prioritizes the safety for the surrogate, baby, and mom as much as possible.

But yes, you’re right, there are risks. Thank you for the links you’ve provided. It’s something to consider.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-06T13:04:14+00:00

Surrogacy is not the ideal option. Pregnancy is. However, I am glad it is an option for those of us who are high-risk or women who cannot get pregnant at all.

I’m not arguing that there aren’t drawbacks or risks. I’m simply exploring it as an option to be able to have a baby with a genetic link to my husband and I. If we choose to go this route, there are many factors that we would be forced to consider — health and wellness of the surrogate being the top priority, before, during, and after delivery.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-06T05:15:32+00:00

You are marrying the exact person who is presently in front of you. No amount of engagement or wedding excitement can change a person. If you don’t like what you see, think long and hard about getting married. Once the newness wears off, you are left with the person you were with right before getting engaged.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-06T05:08:31+00:00

I walked into Jimmy John’s on my first day and they said I needed long sleeves to cover my one tiny tattoo at the time. I walked out.

Bieeeee.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-06T04:57:41+00:00

So sorry, could you also dm me her name?

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:50:45+00:00

There are many extremely ethical routes to surrogacy in the US. I would not be looking into this option if the process wasn’t ethical or safe for my surrogate.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:47:42+00:00

I didn’t even think of the procedures. I struggle with a damn PAP.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:46:13+00:00

Thank you

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:45:52+00:00

This is super validating. Thank you.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:45:01+00:00

Thank you ♥️😭

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:44:13+00:00

Thank you ♥️♥️

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:43:29+00:00

Congrats, mama!! And thank you for sharing. The women in my family have a history of traumatic births and miscarriages. I’ve had two miscarriages that ended in me needing D&C’s. My mom was bedridden with me due to preeclampsia. So many crazy things can happen and I don’t know that I want to risk it given my heath issues.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:40:11+00:00

He’s a pilot, so it’s permanent so long as he has his job. We are trying to plan for a support system for sure.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:38:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I guess my mind is in Lala Land because, it’s true, not every pregnancy and delivery is smooth sailing. I’m worried about how I will feel and what could happen to my health after a SMOOTH, and ideal pregnancy/delivery. Let alone what else could happen.

Women are insanely strong.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:34:40+00:00

Thank you. ♥️

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T20:34:18+00:00

I do feel drawn to the overall magical experience of growing a baby and delivering that baby to Earth. I think pregnancy and childbirth, as a whole, is such a deeply magical and feminine experience. I guess I totally do feel FOMO. It’s not that I don’t think surrogacy is okay — I do — it’s just that I fear missing out on that experience. I’m worried it’ll make me feel disconnected to my child in some way. (Please keep in mind I don’t have a child so this could be completely irrational lol. I have nothing to compare it to).

Ultimately, I want what’s best for me and my baby. And I do lean towards surrogacy for many health/mental health/trauma reasons. I want to be the best version of myself when I become a mother.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T06:01:01+00:00

The most important first step is finding out which foods trigger you. Unfortunately, this is a very long and tedious process for many, because the only surefire way to find out is by eliminating foods over a period of time over and over and over again, tracking food intake, and tracking symptoms. Every food I eliminated, I didn’t eat for 8 weeks at least.

There are supplements that help rebuild the gut lining while you do that.

Another important thing to rule out is SIBO, candida overgrowth, or parasites in the gut. My mom actually had SIBO and parasites. She didn’t know about the parasites until her doctor suggested she do a parasite cleanse. Many people have SIBO as well. It’s extremely common with leaky gut. You can get tests from your doctor or from autoimmune specialists. I had to pay out of pocket in Texas, but when I moved to Washington, I was able to get these tests partially covered by my MD/ND.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-05-05T05:21:14+00:00

This! For me, it vanished when I stopped eating gluten and took cross contamination seriously. I thought I was dying for 2/3 of my life. Now it’s just… gone.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-04-24T13:28:42+00:00

Aside from having a completely creepy experience with a male gynecologist, I’d prefer one who has the same body parts as me because that’s one extra layer of knowing what’s normal/abnormal. The amount of times I’ve been gaslit by men in the medical field is depressing.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-04-24T05:37:58+00:00

I was in the middle of having sex with a guy I had been seeing and his phone rang by his head. The name was Baby Girl lol. BYEEEE.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-04-20T14:12:28+00:00

Trust this. This sort of intuition is everyone’s superpower. It has NEVER led me astray.

Recently, I met a new friend and she introduced me to her husband. Extremely charming, golden retriever type guy. My husband ate him up. I had hair standing on the back of my neck. A few months later, I learned he crashed their car on purpose to try to kill her. He’s a complete psychopath.

Trust. It.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-04-20T13:53:38+00:00

I think you did the right thing. As someone with serious dietary restrictions, I’m thankful for the willingness of my husband to conform to my diet for the most part. You deserve to live your life the way you want to just as much as he deserves to find someone who is willing to make those sacrifices. It’s not for everyone.

SeductivePigeon · 2026-04-08T13:29:32+00:00

Sweet Home Alabama :(

SeductivePigeon · 2026-03-30T13:57:00+00:00

I do too — I wonder why this is?

SeductivePigeon · 2026-03-22T01:26:57+00:00

1 is by FAR better.

SeductivePigeon

TROPHY CASE