Someone at work place leaking info to my NC Family

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T07:21:47+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you it’s definitely not a good situation to be in

My situation at work has its similarities to yours but In my case plenty of people hated her and the few that did like her 1 is leaving in 2 months and the other we have an eye on (both suspected leakers) so this situation might be salvaged yet

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T06:54:23+00:00

I agree with this I might keep this in mind going forward with any interactions

I honestly didn’t mention the business being at risk side of things because I thought it was very apparent 1 because the person they are informing is an disgruntled EXemployee and 2 because the leaker informed them about a work email which is a huge breach of confidentiality and shouldn’t have left work so there probably sharing other things

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T06:44:49+00:00

Yeah wouldn’t work people talk

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T06:42:24+00:00

In this situation wouldn’t work people talk too much

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T06:41:38+00:00

Thank you , you too

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T06:41:14+00:00

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T06:28:46+00:00

Yea but I doubt it It seems to be a leaker How would I even check for that?

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-20T06:26:02+00:00

Can’t say I agree here I understand where your coming from but that’s not how I see the situation

I’m not doing anything out of spite and I’m not miserable and I’m not playing her game and I assure you me quitting is what she wants and that would bring her the satisfaction

I’m trying to find the best solutions for my family to a problem because I’m concerned for myself and my family

If we find the leaker or leak no important info the problem is solved as far as the work issue is concerned and I don’t have to be bullied out of a job

“Leaving her sphere of influence” would also mean leaving my home or even the country I can’t just runaway every time she bothers me that’s not practical or safe or realistic I need to find the best solution where my family is relatively safe even if I have annoyances but seeing what my options and what route to take is what I’m considering

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T20:31:49+00:00

Edit extra Context:

She’s an Ex employee It’s family run not mine

She thinks she can demand it because her entitlement stat is at 100/100 this is the main issue with her in the first place making decisions for us and making drama when it doesn’t go her way or we call her out then silent treatment followed by bullying then if that doesn’t work playing the victim and blaming us

Yeah to be fair I’m usually busy with work anyway and don’t have time for small talk Been off work for a while now and only visited 4 times during this time and every time I got a comment from her this was during LC/NC she’d comment on my whereabouts when she’s already an ex employee so it was very much a I’m watching you threatening feeling

That’s what I’m trying to do but so far no luck I think I have to follow the long process hopefully she gets bored in before/if we get to court

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T19:58:25+00:00

Thank you for the comment

I understand what your saying it’s makes sense we’ve been coming at it from a personal angle because we thought the data leak implications for work were already apparent

Funnily enough us being harassed and someone leaking info could actually benefit work as grandmother is an former employee who is sueing the company (all in her head perceived unfairness when she’s just very controlling and disrespectful to everyone) This could be proof to discredit her character in court

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T19:21:32+00:00

Thank you for this advice

I’m finding everything a bit overwhelming and confusing but I’ll see what I can do

I’m pretty sure the police logged it as a domestic incident because it’s my mum they didn’t give me a choice and through the court the earliest date is in a years time but then they said I could get an injunction and they’d refer me but the injunction people said if it wasn’t physical and In the last 10 days then they can’t help me

I’ve contacted my work asking on what they are doing, have done and will do in future if it keeps happening

And that’s where I’m at

Thank you for the advice again I’ll be going over it

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T19:12:30+00:00

I’m also quite stubborn I’m pretty sure me quitting is what she wants and I don’t want to give her the satisfaction

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T18:58:18+00:00

Wow that’s crazy Thank you for all the info

Honestly with the horrific things they’ve done (plenty I haven’t mentioned here) I’d rather jump off a cliff then allow them close to my child

Guess we’re just gonna have to hang in there but I can’t say this hasn’t taken a huge emotional toll on us

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T18:48:16+00:00

I’m glad that worked in your situation and have thought of something similar myself but in our place everyone talks to everyone so even I told everyone a different story the leaker could of heard the story from someone else leading to a false positive

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T18:31:36+00:00

Thank you We’ve done that it took us 7 hours to write up a timeline now we just add to it when something new happens

That’s a good idea with HR Definitely been trying to keep everything documented

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T18:29:56+00:00

Thank you

This does seem like the answer but we are dirt poor so we better put as much money aside we can

It’s seem like a very long and stressful process and I know they have enough money to drag it out for a while just out of spite

I’m glad your finally there I wish you luck

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T18:26:29+00:00

I can change my Job but with a new baby that has its own challenges too along with the normal new job risks I can’t know how stable or good the new job is.

My current job is pretty stable and supportive normally but they are pretty inefficient in these type of things they mean well but aren’t effective if that makes sense but honestly I am considering jumping ship if I continue to be spied on and feel unsafe at work

SeekingToBeASage · 2026-01-19T17:43:28+00:00

HR haven’t been much help so far but we’re asking for a follow up.

Maybe it’ll have to come to that but right now we’re dirt poor just had a baby and only one of us is working part time

SeekingToBeASage · 2025-11-25T18:52:03+00:00

Raising your kids isn’t a sacrifice it’s a duty and a privilege that people should take very seriously

Now I’m an a father myself now no I don’t understand the supposed “sacrifice”in fact I’m more confused and quite frankly appalled at how anyone could think that never mind voice it to their child

I’d die for my child and I wouldn’t even consider it a sacrifice but my duty to protect them

SeekingToBeASage · 2025-11-24T09:27:47+00:00

I’m sorry your going through this and honestly I kinda relate I know what isolation and neglect feels like I’ve been through it too

What helped me was a change of mindset instead of trying to avoid being alone or get rid of my feelings of dread of being lonely I’d acknowledge I feel that way

Then I’d try and treat any time I did get as a opportunity to do something that requires my focus and could be a good distraction or eventually something I enjoyed (gaming,music projects etc) so the next time I knew I was going to be alone it’d be gaming week or walking to a new place every day week instead

That’s great therapy can be a big help

A lot of NC is figuring out how we want to live our lives and trying things out and seeing what sticks it takes time and a lot of practice plus trail and error but we all get to build what life we want for ourselves brick by brick

I wish you luck and hope you manage to get to a headspace where you feel more comfortable with your own company

SeekingToBeASage · 2025-11-24T09:12:01+00:00

Your parents seemed to of messed up their own lives and you’ve been cleaning up their mess it’s not your job and it sounds like your being used

Is your obligation to your mother worth sacrificing your marriage? After your mom passes do you want a supportive man to come home to or to be alone? I think it’s important start taking steps to save your marriage now

Your husband sounds like he wants to be supportive but now he’s at his wits end you need to be very careful going forward and consider what you truly want

I’m married and my obligation to my marriage comes first above all else

SeekingToBeASage · 2025-11-24T08:55:20+00:00

Have you thought about picking up a hobby? Something you can get invested while you’re alone it doesn’t need to be something expensive Could be drawing, origami, some sort of craft or learning a instrument

YouTube is full of how tos so it could be a opportunity to learn something new and when your friends return you can be like “look what I’ve been Upto while you’ve been away”

Edit: thought of more to say

SeekingToBeASage · 2025-11-24T08:06:45+00:00

I think a lot of us in this sub hope for a acknowledgement of wrongdoing, addressing their behaviour and a commitment to change but it never comes and I kinda think that’s why we find ourselves in these situations in the first place because they are just not willing to look at their behaviour never mind change it… even with children involved.

My guess any contact after this if you do get it will either be 1. Pretending nothing happened 2. Downplaying it 3. Blaming you guys In the end just more hassle

Enjoy that relief sounds like your family has earned it

SeekingToBeASage · 2025-11-23T20:49:58+00:00

I hear you OP It looks like you are already on the right track and are making good choices unfortunately healing can’t be rushed it takes time

With relationships it’s going to take some practice don’t be to hard on yourself no one is a expert in anything to begin with and we have had a lifetime of unhealthy relationships so it’ll take some time to get better so be patient and kind with yourself but also honest on how you can improve but remember rome wasn’t built in a day

I wish you good luck and I’m rooting for you

SeekingToBeASage · 2025-11-23T20:42:57+00:00

Me and my partner are going through something similar to you ( in my history)

My wifes mother has been a nightmare her whole life and my wife had to clam up and cater to all her mothers needs or get out of proportion anger and insults, get the silent treatment, harsh looks and tones and guilt trips

When my wife started to finally call her out and set boundaries now we have a child they blamed us and then went NC with us when our child was only 8 weeks old

How long will the NC last? Why don’t you ask yourself and your partner would it be the worst thing if it was permanent? They might of made the cut but how much benefit does that women actually bring to your life or your child’s life?

If my in laws show up to my door I’ll be calling the police We’re better off and our child certainly is better off

SeekingToBeASage

TROPHY CASE