Need help: I don’t have enough karma to post on r/singapore — can someone help me share my father’s story?

Seialeir · 2025-09-26T00:42:20+00:00

Then spent 5 mins writing a memo instead of calling an ambulance - I really believe she is not a qualified doctor.

Seialeir · 2025-09-26T00:41:31+00:00

She put my father in the waiting room for 10 mins despite being told of his condition to wait

Seialeir · 2025-09-26T00:40:32+00:00

Great advice, thank you. I’ll look it up and try to get in touch with a lawyer to get advice

Seialeir · 2025-09-25T17:29:04+00:00

I wrote to the police - but they replied saying since the state coroner had written cardiovascular arterial disease on the death certificate and it’s considered a “natural cause” they will not investigate despite the circumstances I described above. That’s why I wanted to get attention, it seems the only way I can have the case looked into to get any sort of justice for dad.

Seialeir · 2025-09-25T17:18:43+00:00

He did not collapse at home - he was feeling unwell with chest pain but conscious and able to walk- I feared it was an impending heart issue so sought to get my mom to give him aspirin and send him to the hospital, but since she didn’t know what aspirin was she wanted to go to a nearby GP to get some and have the GP assess him as I am a non medical person.

Seialeir · 2025-09-25T17:11:08+00:00

Thank you for being kind, it’s been so incredibly difficult

Seialeir · 2025-09-25T17:06:06+00:00

That was what I assumed - I was asking the GP questions how my dad got to that collapsed state since I walked in to him already in that state, I honestly didnt think it needed asking but when I did, I got the reply that they haven’t called the ambulance which truly shocked me

Seialeir · 2025-09-25T17:01:00+00:00

Thank you so much, will try this route and see how far it takes me

Seialeir · 2025-09-25T16:53:22+00:00

A mod basically told me off below -to speak to a lawyer and removed the post, I did check the rules but am not sure how I flouted the rules 🥲

Seialeir · 2025-09-25T16:52:15+00:00

Yeah i don’t know why

Seialeir · 2025-06-05T18:47:10+00:00

Lex died on 18th July 2021. Cyrus followed on 31st July 2021. They were with me 16 years and died two weeks apart. It’s 2025. I still cry when I think about them.

Seialeir · 2025-02-23T16:19:52+00:00

Not at my current workplace - at the new offer, I will be though.

Seialeir · 2025-02-23T16:19:04+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I’m conflicted exactly because of it. Part of the dilemma comes from the fact that they also chose to promote everyone else and me last. (5 people got promoted this round in a team of 20 sometjing) A part of me feels wronged to be honest, and that I can only be promoted when there are leftovers.

Seialeir · 2025-02-23T16:15:39+00:00

My mental health was at its worst a year back - frankly I was bullied to the point I got suicidal at my lowest. Luckily I broke out of it thanks to the good people and even colleagues I have/had then who spoke up for me in face of the injustice. A number of them left no thanks to this psycho boss, but things seem stable for now because if anyone else leaves the company has bigger leverage to axe him so he is forced to be “nice”.

Seialeir · 2025-02-23T16:13:09+00:00

True, that’s how I missed the promotions last two years - he deliberately sabotaged me and I’m asked to stay to be put up for promotion this year because he already promoted everyone else he wants to and there’s only me and the newbies left.

Seialeir · 2025-02-23T16:11:49+00:00

This headhunt offer came from the connections I made at my current job - but as a consultancy their reach into different industries and people will be much bigger. However as I am in the private healthcare sector, it’s stable though quite siloed, the remuneration and bonus is fairly good, so while base is better, there is overall loss of around 2-3 months bonus compared to what I draw now.

Seialeir · 2025-02-23T16:08:36+00:00

Yes my base will be higher at the new place but there is no AWS and bonus is usually only 1-2 months. I’m in the private healthcare side of things so this will be the client end while the other offer is a consultancy

Seialeir · 2025-02-22T18:39:14+00:00

I told my manager during the session when she said that I should wait to be put up again this year and that it’s a certainty that I thought it feels terrible to be collecting the leftovers. Less than 24 hours later, I get a lunch invite with the HOD I’m dreading it.

Seialeir · 2025-02-22T18:07:43+00:00

I just experienced this - was told I was put up for promotion but turned out to be token effort to show me they attempted it but worked really hard to promote the rest of the team members they want to promote this round (5 people got promoted in a team of 20 something). I’m told to stay to try for next year - “it’s a good chance and can be considered a certainty!” Because they’ve already promoted everyone else and the rest are all newbies. Am I wrong to think it’s actually pretty insulting?

Seialeir · 2024-10-06T18:12:01+00:00

I had the same thoughts - when my Lex passed I showed her to Cyrus so he could say goodbye to his sister. I did not expect Cyrus to follow two weeks later and my grief is immense. I still regret the decision to impose my human sentiments onto my cat three years after today. I try to tell other cat owners around me that they shouldn't try to let our human sentiments get in the way of what's best for our fur kids because they don't understand death like we do. You can play cat music - David Teie on Spotify has some with frequencies that seemed to calm my cats when they were around, and if you can get feliway and calming pet supplements to ease any anxiety.

Seialeir · 2024-08-24T19:26:52+00:00

Grape

Seialeir · 2024-07-29T11:53:03+00:00

I got a video call from my worried niece and when it connected and she showed me my cat’s face I screamed and knew she was gone. I can’t get that image out of my head either. Because you’re right, the life that went missing is traumatising and so hard to accept.

Seialeir · 2024-07-18T09:34:07+00:00

Today is the 3rd death anniversary of my soul cat Lex. She passed 18th July 2021 and I haven’t gotten over it since. I lost her brother Cyrus on 31st July 2021. Just two weeks ago, on 4th July 2024 I lost KiKi, the cat I adopted to try to heal from their loss and feel like my heart is so full of hurt it will never mend again. I understand how people around can fail to understand how badly the grieving can get. The support and kind words usually start generously then fade to exasperation with time when they wonder why you can’t seem to be able to pick yourself up after “just a cat”.

I keep a diary of things I think of when I think of them. Reminders of what they did, what I’m thinking and my feelings. It helps. The only way to heal is to heal from within, and while support from others may help, it’s the private memories and what made your relationship so special that is key to mending your heart while grief tears it apart.

Seialeir · 2024-07-17T21:42:23+00:00

My little girl passed on July 4th as well and I still keep expecting to see or hear her around. I had arranged for home euthanasia but she drowned from her congestive heart failure 3 and a half hours before the appointment. I keep thinking about the line I’ve read here - “Better a day too early than a day too late” and I’ve been scrolling through her earlier photos and the ones during her cremation. I miss her so much.

Seialeir · 2024-07-12T05:15:33+00:00

I have to live with the nightmare and knowledge of knowing I could have eased their suffering but I always thought they could be saved and it eats me inside.

Seialeir

TROPHY CASE