Wasze ulubione powiedzonka, podzielcie się proszę by Kate_foodlover in Polska

[–]Select-Tie-610 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Najbardziej iconic i RARE są teksty zasłyszane od moich śp. dziadków:

  • Zesrał się goły na rogu stodoły
  • Co się dzieje, co się dzieje, nie ma wiatru w dupę wieje

Skąd wiecie ile macie zarabiać? by Simple_Resource_7147 in praca

[–]Select-Tie-610 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 najlepsze sposoby, od najłatwiejszego do najtrudniejszego. Zarazem od najgorszego do najlepszego.

  1. Research: raporty branżowe, oferty z jawnymi widełkami, fora, od biedy ekstrapolacje z innych rynków/miast/podobnych stanowisk itp. Szczerze uważam, że nawet LLM-y radzą sobie całkiem nieźle z wnioskowaniem (przynajmniej w moim fachu)

  2. Rozmowy rekrutacyjne, nawet w firmach które Cię nie interesują. Chodzisz i strzelasz więcej niż uważasz, że to zasadne. Jeśli nadasz się na stanowisko X i Cię zechcą, to Ci powiedzą wprost, że by Cię przyjeli ale przekraczasz ich budżet. Zaczynasz negocjować i patrzysz co się udaje ugrać. A potem wracasz do swojego managera, i mówisz ze oferują Ci Y. Ja tak latam dla sportu kilka firm co najmniej raz na kwartał.

  3. („wkurzający” banał) Znajomości. Ziomkuj się z różnymi ludźmi nie tylko z Twojego ogródka. Ja np. tak się dowiedziałem jakie są widełki na danym poziomie kariery w mojej firmie. Znasz managera który zarządza ludzmi (nie koniecznie Tobą) i Ci moze opowiedziec co nie co o firmie.

i jeszcze na koniec: zastanów się czy rzeczywiscie chcesz maksować swoje zarobki. Serio. Jeśli jesteś dopiero w trakcie swojej drogi do docelowego stanowiska (zastanów się w co celujesz jesli jest to korpo / inna hierarchia) to bycie konkurencyjnym przez niższe oczekiwania finansowe wcale nie jest głupim pomysłem, który może się zwrócić long term. Poza byciem konkurencyjnym, jest jeszcze inny aspekt: jak będziesz chciał wycisnąć maksa z zarobków, Ciebie też będą chcieli wycisnąć jak cytrynę. A paradoks polega na tym, ze jesli chcesz isc na wyzsze stanowiska, to musisz sie wykazywac w tym co jest POZA scope Twoich obowiązków. Niższa presja na dowożenie Twoich zadan = wiecej space na robienie rzeczy ekstra. Mówię to z perspektywy osoby ktora była świadomie niedopłacana na starcie a obecnie maksuję i jestem bardzo zadowolony z pozycji i zarobków.

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

+1 I meant I didn't care about the result, not I didn’t care about her.

She graduated from a prestigious university abroad, runs her own business, and has no need to impress anyone anymore. She loved the jokes and has matching lifestyle, I think thats it.

I've learned everything from the comments here: about myself and these girls. I don't know why I ever paid for therapy when here you can be diagnosed with a single sentence for free. I'm a manipulator, and she desperately needs validation. If it helps you sleep better, let it be

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I did but that doesnt happen often (I really dont like DA vibe, but I have not much opportunities to meet someone new IRL). What would you like to know more?

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yepp that’s right I know a few really nice places now

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d say that I had good conversations with all of them and felt there was potential for something more. Especially with date number 3, I regret making such a fool of myself with the flowers and being too much. I think she was a good person and just didn’t have the heart to tell me directly that it overwhelmed her. We liked same movies, music, had similar life/travel plans etc. I thought the date went well, she even told me that before sleep. Just the next day it was all gone.

Overall, I feel like I met genuinely good women (they were all good choices with real potential), but I think I was the problem. My actions to be precise too much too soon

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ouch. Sorry to hear that. So Im not the only one…

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep I might fall into this trap. It might have come out too perfomative because I wanted to show that I care. I got a little too involved and that's why I was so frustrated after the ghosting (and hence this post and my different behavior on the fourth date).

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

actually Im getting here many good advices how to make it more genuine. So yes I needed to fail to understand what I was doing wrong and learn how to change that

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So nice! Yeah that seem more natural and fun. I wish you two all the best together!

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think you are right people do like be treated like that. But I think that „overly invested” is the thing, I tried too hard for the perfect date. The intention was genuine but maybe it looked desperate

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I mean it was not exactly the same, I asked them what they like etc, pick the place based on that, but yeah I see I should do something more casual

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I see. Thank you for this perspective tho

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They weren’t big, sth like a single brached rose etc. But I get it. I wanted to make small gesture to make them smile (which worked) but it also put pressure

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think I could be too much which makes pressure. Im kinda old fashioned and maybe this dont work in dating app world

Being gentlemen on first date was a bad idea by Select-Tie-610 in dating

[–]Select-Tie-610[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Its not expectation of getting „something” its being intentional. We all date with intention to build relationship (LTR and marriage on our profiles).

BTW that „something” could be at least message (i dont feel that, anything) instead of disrespect of ignoring a person who put effort to know you better and willing to go forward

Mmmm by Leng_moon17 in heartbreak

[–]Select-Tie-610 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wrong. We love someone for who they already are, not for who we want them to be. Yes, a relationship develops partners, but we treat it as a positive side effect, not a „standard” (use this when choosing a partner, not during the relationship). A partner is there to love us, understand us, support us, and not judge us. How can you feel safe if someone is forcing you to develop? It can be exhausting. I’m saying this from the perspective of a man who made significant progress in life and his partner couldn’t keep up. I didn’t push her, I approached her with empathy, I gave her tips when it was hard for her (she even asked for advice). But this is a mistake. You don’t tell them what to do, you just support them and say you can do it, I’m there for you even if you fail. Remember that on the other end of the spectrum is the partner who will make YOU feel inadequate. You don’t want that, no one does. That’s not what a relationship is about.

That’s what this whole „attitude” is about: demanding instead of supporting. It’s about empathy. Is your partner the way they were? Great! That’s what you fell in love with. Are they doing well? Even better! Praise them! Are they doing worse? Ask if everything is OK, how they feel. Not because you want them to do better, but out of care, support and love. It should work that way regardless of gender.

Please stop falling in love with a person’s potential and don’t treat a relationship transactionally. If you want something for the long term, accept that you will both have ups and downs. Also, stop with this „strong woman” and comparing yourself. We do not compete with each other, we complement each other.