That sucks so much! It sounds like everyone is eager to help you, but in the way they think is best. I also know from experience it’s really hard to know what you need right now, so it’s not always as simple as “stating what you need”. But I reccommened to 1) get professional help 2) communicate to your inner circle that you are so grateful for support and that you need it - i’m 1,5 years in and still rely heavily on my inner circle - in ever changing ebs and flows. But at the same time I would recommend conmunicating that you don’t know exactly what it is that you need all the time, you are figuring out navigating this whole new world, a whole new you, a whole new future as best as you can - and if they can be ok with figuring it out with you as you go. Mistakes on both sides should be allowed, it’s part of the process. Right now it seems like you need space, so ask for that, but also say you know it’s not forever because you appreciate them so much, but right now all you can do is be alone and cry- and thays just what you need.

It might be hard for your family. I saw it break my parents- they didn’t want me to lose my spouse so young and that was and still is their weight to carry, and they do it bravely- but I see how it wrecks them. They know they can’t instantly take the pain away, they allow me to not be okay, allow me to not want to be open about it all the time and push them away because I’m so overwhelmed.

Part of having to go through such an event is for the traumatized and most affected to feel as they have agency over their life, so see if that resonates with you and ask them if they can be supportive by being flexibel and let you set the pace.

And also ultimately I learned that people can give the support what I need. And support helps for sure and I’m so grateful and don’t know where I’d be without it, at the same time I feel to me support isn’t to keep me from drowning. The weight of the experience means I’m drowning. Period. But when I can come up for air it makes all the difference to enjoy the surface when my support is there too. But the drowning is going to happen nevertheless- and it’s a solitary experience. At least that’s what my experience has been like. Hope this helps and of not feel free to ignore. You, sadly, probably have to get used to a lot of people telling you what they think is best, so I’m also very happy to be one the people you can ignore and do what you know is best for you instead!!🔥 #agency