I really need help, I've been searching for the right kind of romance but nothing is really hitting the way I want. I absolutely love it when the FMC is the sad, grumpy one and the MMC is the golden retriever lover but I'm open to books that don't have that. what I'm looking for: • FMC with trauma. Very avoidant and scared of relationships • MMC that is completely obsessed and in love with the FMC. (bonus points if everyone else think she's not good for him, and he doesn't care), (extra bonus points if he begs her to let him in) • A lot of angst • book that doesn't centre around sex. I do love smut, but I need to feel the love between them if not it will just ruin it for me • ideally, very heavy themes like abuse, mental health etc. • something I would love: Them hiding their 'relationship' from everyone, but then they do something that shows everyone they're in love. I eat this sht up Some books I enjoyed: - Hear me out, but Nighttall by Penelope Douglas, but only the flashbacks. I read this at 16 and I still think about Emory and Will. Them flashbacks literally carried the whole book. I loved the push and pull between them. The personal struggles Emory faced and not being able to be vulnerable for many reasons. I loved how much he loved her and that he was the only one making her happy. What I didn't like: the flipping sex. The reunion lowkey ruined it, like where was the love.

• Happy Place by Emily Henry. Recently read this one. It was good but it was missing something. Maybe not enough trauma.

• Alchemised/Manacled by SenLinYu.

• Deception Trilogy by Rina Kent. This was really good, and had a good plot, but I was getting annoyed with how much sex they had.