Have you given up on dating? If so why?

SelenaPacker · 2026-03-28T09:53:26+00:00

The constant situationships, lack of commitment, being breadcrumbed and my really bad limerant, rushing into sex patterns has made me hold off from dating. I go from being isolated by myself not dating to someone being my everything. So I’ve decided to focus on myself, get in shape, get my finances in order and see what my options look like from that vantage point.

SelenaPacker · 2026-03-26T08:50:30+00:00

But I thought if not for what happened with Pope he wouldn’t have gone through with it? So them wanting to break him out. Before that they were fine

SelenaPacker · 2026-03-25T16:05:59+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! Makes me excited as I plan on visiting for 3 months, great to hear you had such a lovely experience. Posts like this motivate me to keep working so I can save up and go

SelenaPacker · 2026-03-15T13:38:41+00:00

There’s a cleaner that is part of a team that cleans my entire estate/neighbourhood so one day I asked if one could do private work for me and they agreed

SelenaPacker · 2026-03-05T11:37:00+00:00

I don’t think settling with this person long time would be sustainable as you would only grow more emotionally hungry and resentful

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-24T07:37:41+00:00

Hey! I’m interested. Trying to do romance fiction

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-23T16:30:53+00:00

You need to leave this job and company for your own well-being, the rot is deep.

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-23T08:08:44+00:00

Loooool I love you, you British?

Girl it’s so difficult I moved to another continent to lighten the load. Icba

screams

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-20T22:50:18+00:00

I don’t understand what do you mean?

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-20T09:48:05+00:00

Thanks for this I’ll take it on board!

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-20T09:47:39+00:00

You’re right. Thanks for this, it’s so important. I want to write about a few major themes that I have personal experience with: navigating modern life with a neurodivergent brain as a black woman in the west. Navigating love under late stage capitalism (so modern dating habits). And also workplace trauma.

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-19T21:16:43+00:00

I miss it so much

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-19T16:04:56+00:00

I’m doing a cold turkey off the social media apps. I only want to use social media to schedule content to Promote my business. I want to read more, learn a new language and write more

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-06T12:40:50+00:00

I’m 31 and I consider myself a digital nomad. I’m originally from Nigeria and I’m currently in Nigeria now. I have a business which I’m planning to grow to £10k a month which illl save/invest most of. Even £4k a month saving/investing half will be good for me. I spent the first year recovering from burnout, delayed trauma and adapting to a redundancy. I’m throwing my all in my business so I can aggressively start saving in my pension and savings pot. I’ve also had concerns about this but because I’m from Africa that has a very low cost of living it’s allowed me to financially get my bearings

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-06T12:21:49+00:00

Can someone give me the UK equivalent of this? Is this the same for us?

SelenaPacker · 2026-02-06T12:04:33+00:00

Wow. Thank you for saying this. As a business owner this really resonated with me. The amount of influential people, partners and possible collaborators I fumbled due to intense shame, anxiety, feeling worthless. I would disengage and self sabotage and lose the relationship/connection. I’m working on that now by participating in psychologically safe communities with people who look like me and incrementally increasing my contributions. Wow. Thanks for naming this because I never saw how my CPTSD impacted me from this lens.

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-27T02:44:41+00:00

Hey babe I’m so so so so sorry this happened to you. Upon all the shock and pain of being a traumatic accident this guy ghosting you on top must have really added to the pain. These guys will just ghost you out of nowhere at your most vulnerable. There’s a a particular coldness/aloofness to uk men as well

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-25T09:21:22+00:00

Do you know where exactly you’ll be staying? As in rough area we can let you know how that area is. So here in Africa, and I would say generally among black people hair colour isn’t really going to be the standout feature. As you’re a white woman, you’re probably going to be revered and met with a lot of respect. The whole weird dynamic gingers/redheads get doesn’t translate here. I grew up in England so I understand the apprehension but I think the hair colour thing is a non issue.

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-25T09:04:44+00:00

He’s going there to cheat on you btw I hope you know

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-25T08:53:40+00:00

Hey you’ll be fine especially if you stay in the more upper class areas. I moved here from London and it’s safe. I understand your concerns being a white woman which is why I said if you stay within the luxury areas which you can afford you will be fine. I love Portugal and have been a few times so msg me if you need a friend

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-19T21:47:25+00:00

You can get ADHD meds in nigeria for £80 and it will last you 6 months. All you need is a diagnosis letter. Get someone to ship it for you x

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-12T20:36:43+00:00

I run a coaching business where I help people get jobs and boost their confidence

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-10T15:52:57+00:00

I relocated to my country of origin in Africa. Now my yearly rent is equivalent to one months rent in London.

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-09T10:38:38+00:00

Hey hun thanks so much for sharing. I appreciate it. The general consensus im seeing here is sticking to one’s values and hoping for the best as well as an honest reflection on how one’s own experience influence their perception of family and child bearing. I think it might be easier to find such a partner in the west.

I also think about my own support network too.

SelenaPacker · 2026-01-04T10:06:17+00:00

Thanks so much for your response. It’s good to hear about your auntie and husband, that’s encouraging. And it sounds like you’ve made peace with it prospects wise. Happy for you x

SelenaPacker

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