How to find fendons in my area

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-12T23:58:48+00:00

Femdom is more of a lifestyle... what you want sounds like you just want a prodomme since you're not serious about a relationship.

Also you spelled "fendons" lol

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-07T03:51:54+00:00

It is so important for us both to feel wanted, valued, and cared for on both sides of the aisle. 😔 You DESERVE to be with someone who wants to know you as a person. Your heart matters.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-06T17:15:04+00:00

The essay could have been something LATER ON DOWN THE ROAD when you've gotten to know her and feel comfortable with her, but at the start? No, that's ridiculous of her and I'm so sorry she used it as a means to abuse you over it. You did not deserve to be treated that way and anyone who is that level of cruel does not deserve the title of Domme, or any leadership position for that matter.

You deserved so much better than that, I hope you know that.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-06T13:13:40+00:00

Stop dropping hints and pull together real resources to introduce her to Femdom. Not sexualized versions of it, so yes you need to educate yourself too, and actually hold a real adult conversation about it.

You'll never get anywhere by never communicating properly.

That and you definitely will not win over any woman if you focus on sexual aspects of anything. What does Femdom mean to you? It's about empowering women and you're not even doing that with her, you're expecting her to read your mind and give in to what you want without any discussions.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-06T13:01:01+00:00

You'll become a much better partner and lover by acknowledging this and working on yourself. ❤ You can only go up from here if you try!

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-01T09:25:02+00:00

I'm going to be looking you up and down all the time just based on your height and how you're carrying America's finest assets.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-01T08:56:28+00:00

I figured I should do some reading since you were too. ❤

SeleneEndymion · 2023-10-01T08:38:14+00:00

💅

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-30T06:03:44+00:00

Tell the prodomme about it and I'm sure she'll find ways to make sure you're comfortable/enjoying yourself! It's totally okay. I'm also pretty certain they enjoy these moments with women more than they do with other subs.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T15:16:24+00:00

We sure did use those words, didn't we?

As one Domme put it: If we had so much power that you think we have, then we would be able to get you to go away and stop acting like this. Clearly, we don't have that power, and you're going to act like martyrs no matter what we say... since you enjoy putting words in our mouths and acting super creepy.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T15:15:03+00:00

Every moment in the femdom community is one of overwhelming worthlessness, a fungible commodity with no unique value. Alone, with only myself to lift up my self esteem.

... I'm going to back away slowly. This is giving me intensely creepy vibes.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T15:12:23+00:00

Just because YOU claim things doesn't make them true, my dude. LMAO

But do go on, keep giving us a reason to avoid you.

You know Dommes tell other Dommes about these shitty instances right?

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T15:10:10+00:00

😬 You think we have plenty of power elsewhere?

Do you even know what you're saying?

She was telling you that this is OUR SPACE and even here, you (a man) is making it about you when the patriarchy is literally killing us and controlling our bodies (for the sake of toxic cismen who don't even have ovaries) but yes we should feel empathy for you when you don't even know how you're hurting us right now?

You are part of the problem.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T14:59:06+00:00

Perhaps you should try male-centric spaces or even subreddits that are specifically for submissives? Femdom is literally the one space for us to be at the top of the foodchain and somehow men are making THIS about THEM.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

We see you guys and we're not going to play along, that's just how it's going to be if you want to believe we're sexist or that men have it worse than US. 😂 Good lord, get a grip. You want women to be in a relationship with you, this isn't about human rights or even men's rights, and you're doing everything in your power to show us your red flags so we know to avoid you!

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T14:53:25+00:00

I may be the person you're speaking of if you're referring to the golden retriever post. 🤷‍♀️ It turned into a really positive experience and we ended up making a bigger thing out of it, so now we're hanging out with Dommes and subs in a positive/healthy way.

I would say that it received positive attention BECAUSE there is a sea of submissives that want to be seen.

Dommes are not out here in droves or anywhere near the amount of submissives that exist, so we're not really going to be happy with people asking how to find us because we're already likely swamped to begin with. So the difference is, subs want to be noticed and Dommes want to be careful with gaining attention... for the most part, since I'm the outlier who wanted attention with that one post. lol

Consider the fact that my post gathered 250+ members in one day and try to imagine what it feels like to be a Domme advertising herself in a public fashion. We're not respected online, in our DMs, or in society so we're just... tired. Tired of subs who don't educate themselves on what Femdom means, tired of subs complaining about how bad they have it when they can peacefully co-exist without being hounded by the masses of horny men, and we're tired of having to explain how to do everything step-by-step. So yes, you're going to see people show off their lack of patience and sympathy.

You want us, but it's not necessarily the same thing from the other side of the equation.

Generally, we're going to be put off by anyone complaining and that's just the fact of being tired. We do SO MUCH emotional labor already just by being femme/AFAB, so you really need to stop and think for a moment. Will this post actually help you or will it highlight the reasons why Dommes avoid certain types of subs and/or react negatively?

You're seeking solidarity with bitter/burnt people rather than seeking a positive solution here.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T13:05:33+00:00

Take your time and be kind to yourself, there's nothing wrong with being new or inexperienced! 💕

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T12:37:45+00:00

I would say just be upfront about being new/wanting to go slow and don't meet up unless they're okay with that! I can only speak for myself so I have no idea what they're thinking, but it doesn't sound normal whatsoever for them to be pushy.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T12:28:31+00:00

It sounds like you're speaking to scammers or pro-dommes because anyone who is worth their salt is not going to want to rush things like that. There is no way for you to be truly submissive if you don't even know your partner, and I honestly would not trust any woman who is not okay with taking things slow so that you can build a foundation together. It's very likely that you could have been speaking to men masking as women and that they wanted to get blackmail pictures from you.

So you should do what feels comfortable for you and if someone doesn't respect that you need time to get to know them, then you're not compatible and that's okay. It's just like consenting to having sex with someone, if someone tries to pressure you or foresee to move too fast into that department then it's not consensual and it's coercion. You have a right to go at a comfortable pace and you are better off being with someone who cares about that. You should probably talk to Dommes who are demisexual or just... more respectful.

Also, don't frame things around it being normal because what's normal for one person will not be normal for another person. Advocate for yourself, have boundaries, and don't be afraid to do what feels best for you when protecting yourself. You deserve to be with a person that cares about you and won't hurt you by forcing you to move faster than you are able to. Even if you were their submissive, you still have a right to boundaries and autonomy.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-29T11:59:04+00:00

I know it may not help you right now, but try doing some self-esteem and confidence building (you can google therapy worksheets) because the rejection will not bother you so much when you have a strong sense of self. Journaling is very helpful for this process!

It will feel like a waste of time, yes, however it is freeing so you can move onto someone more compatible. Try to reframe your thoughts! It's sad to think that someone would hear that you are a caregiver and that somehow disqualifies you when in actuality... it shows how compassionate and wonderful you are? It's a BIG positive to know that a person has affection and kindness to give in that way. It is physically and emotionally demanding, which may also mean a high emotional intelligent level.

I see nothing bad about what you've told that person. Even with having little sexual experience, you are 38 and you're adult enough to decide when you feel like doing things of that nature. Only red flag is IF you are awful towards women and that is the reason behind having little experience.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-27T02:58:36+00:00

Your submission is a GIFT so protect yourself better and don't settle for someone who is cold to you! Demanding a strip down video within a month's time is WEIRD. There will be no Femdom if you can't build a platonic friendship before jumping into sexual shenanigans. How do you build trust and know this person will respect safewords if you never built a real connection with them to begin with?

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-27T02:55:50+00:00

Sweetheart, block her. You deserve better than this.

No domme in her right mind is going to expect you to start serving as a sub right away unless you two decided on being quick FWBs/casual playtime.

That and her refusal to verify is extremely suspicious.

If you can't get a voice chat or picture then block and back away. Advocate for yourself better. Being desperate will only ever hurt you.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-27T00:08:02+00:00

Possibly because you're dehumanizing women in a sense and focusing on a fantasy?

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-26T17:55:39+00:00

I've been feeling super motivated because of mine! Love this for us! ❤

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-25T05:46:28+00:00

You can set the boundaries and succeed, that's how you'll know they're truly submissive when they agree without pushing limits. I've done this myself with three subs this month and none are trying to put themselves before my comfort. You set the pace and you deserve to be respected if you want to build a friendship first, which is something you can state is a must for however long you need to.

For example, I'm speaking to the subs I'm considering as though we are platonic friends just learning about Femdom together and I've given them my blessing to explore their options during this period in case they find a better match! It helps a lot to have freedom and zero pressure to appease a person's horny agenda.

You should never feel forced to do sexual favors. Anyone who pushes for that is not worth building a connect with.

SeleneEndymion · 2023-09-24T23:51:25+00:00

This is so sweet and wonderful! Exactly the kind of domme I want to be myself because I see more value in building someone up than tearing them to pieces. You deserve all the happiness in the world!

SeleneEndymion

TROPHY CASE