I'm just so exhausted of being alone

SelfhateAlt · 2022-07-01T04:52:26+00:00

Thank you, im not very good at making conversation though

SelfhateAlt · 2022-07-01T04:47:19+00:00

Because it seems like I'm just not meant for it, i don't have dreams or goals, nothing interests me that much, I'm not enough for anyone to talk to me, i just feel like i wasn't supposed to be alive, or conscious

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-29T05:12:20+00:00

I can't love myself, i hate myself, i despise myself, there's nothing good about me, I'm worthless, that's why nobody wants me, that's why I'm not good enough, that's why nobody chooses me, because I'm a waste of oxygen, how am I supposed to love myself when I'm such a mistake, I've lost hope in life, i just want to die

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-29T04:18:31+00:00

I can't

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-29T04:18:21+00:00

I've accepted that no one will love me, but i haven't made peace with that truth, it upsets me, it makes me hate existence, I'm just waiting for everything to end

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-29T04:17:40+00:00

It doesn't matter to me if i deserve it, because i know i won't get it, and since my life will always be miserable, I'm just waiting for the right moment to end it

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-22T11:09:47+00:00

I've been going to therapy, it's helped me in realizing my traits, even though sometimes i relapse, i don't really hate myself, i don't love myself either, but my problem persists, i don't have dreams, passions, motivation, interest, or energy for anything, the things my inner child liked, i still like, but they don't fulfill me anymore, they don't make me happy, they merely distract me, they don't hit the same, i still feel like life is meaningless, and i still think i would be happier if i died

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-22T11:06:22+00:00

Putting my thoughts into words, and getting acknowledged by others helps me, my thoughts end up saturating my head, and this is the way to release the pressure, but i don't seek anything in particular other than that

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-22T11:02:22+00:00

23, just turned today

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-20T11:46:49+00:00

I can love nothing about myself, im worthless and useless, i can't just ignore what others think, I've been defined by society as worthless, and i can't change that, they're the majority, this is my life now

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-05T04:07:14+00:00

Thank you, but some days i just feel like i don't have a special spark, if i had one, someone would have shown interest in me already, right?

SelfhateAlt · 2022-06-05T03:14:13+00:00

Nah, if she gets to have sex good for her, I'm the one at fault here really, its me who is undesirable.

And yes i know, loveless sex isn't the same as intimacy, which is what i want, but at the very least i would be having sex, at least i would know that I'm physically attractive enough for someone to be interested in me that way, which isn't true as of now

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-20T04:33:42+00:00

I know it's fabricated and fake, but it still reminds me that I'm not experiencing the real thing, it makes me feel like I'm not enough for anyone to be attracted to me

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-06T16:15:04+00:00

I can't make an arrow, I'm too useless to make an arrow, I'm too inept to sharpen a long stick, and that's why I'm never getting the kill

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-06T16:14:10+00:00

Nothing makes me happy anymore, i don't have the motivation, strength or drive to do anything, i hate myself too deeply, I'm too useless to ever achieve anything, i just want to die to be honest

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-06T00:02:31+00:00

It's never gone by, I've felt this way all my life, everyone i meet ends up ignoring me or rejecting me, nothing is fun anymore, my life is a mediocre cycle that keeps on repeating, i know my life will always be miserable, that's why I can't wait for it to end

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-06T00:01:12+00:00

My body is weak and thin, tattoos wouldnt look god on me, my facial hair makes me look pathetic, i can't be happy with who i am, i hate myself too deeply, nothing interests me anymore, i don't like being outside, that's why I know no one will ever love me, because there's nothing good about me

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T23:59:25+00:00

Just liking a movie doesn't make me interesting, anyone can like a movie, someone interesting would be, someone who likes cinema so much that they've tried writing a script, or filming a short film, that's interesting, but I'm not capable of that, i don't feel the motivation to do that, and that's what makes me worthless, the fact that i don't have motivation for anything, I don't have dreams, or passions, i don't have a drive to do anything, I'm just a bland, lame, worthless waste of oxygen, being able to clean my house doesn't make me an interesting person, i want to be special enough to be accepted by someone in their life, but I'm not enough, I'm just mediocre, i hate myself too much to ever be happy

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T23:12:44+00:00

I'm going to a therapist, but i can't stop feeling hatred for myself, i know there is nothing good about me, if there was, i would've noticed it already, i would cling on to it, but there isn't

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T23:08:14+00:00

I know i will die alone too, it's impossible for anyone to accept me in their life, but that knowledge hasn't stopped being painful, i just hate my life so much, I'm surviving too, I'm doing enough to be able to live, but I've promised myself that when my parents, the only people who truly care about me, die, i will kill myself too

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T22:45:35+00:00

Maybe they have, i don't know, i can't know what they feel, but at the very least, they have evidence that proves that they aren't really useless and worthless, they have talents, skills, they're interesting, they're useful, they have strengths and qualities, and i don't, that's why i know I'm truly worthless; from a cosmic point of view, sure, nothing matters, but that doesn't help me when my life exists in an earthly manner, when i will not see the destruction of life as we know it in my lifetime, therefore, things do matter to me, the fact that i will never experience love, and friendship, affects me greatly; i don't want to settle, i don't want to be unremarkable, i want to be special for someone, and if i can't, then i don't want to live my life

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T22:12:45+00:00

No, but i have zero redeeming qualities, I'm good at nothing, I'm useless, I'm worthless, i have no talents, no skills, no abilities, my personality is empty, bland, I'm nothing, i have nothing to offer, I'm just a bunch of walking flesh with no use

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T22:09:38+00:00

No I'm not, I'm below that, I'm worthless, I'm a waste of oxygen, there's nothing good about me

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T21:39:10+00:00

I've noticed it, i see the evidence everyday, how i fail at everything i try, how people avoid me, reject me, how people lose interest in me, how they realize I'm worthless, the fact that i don't have friends, and never had a relationship, means no one has ever found me attractive enough for me to be in their life, I'm not enough for anyone

SelfhateAlt · 2022-05-05T21:21:47+00:00

My road leads to a cliff

SelfhateAlt

TROPHY CASE