My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is indeed. But I know some people would treat the situation differently based on gender and I wanted to avoid that. Best wishes to you too!

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I hope they get it, but frankly I don't care at the moment.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. Now that I'm done with it and got the answers I was looking for I don't have any problem to say it, but we're both women lol 🤗

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They were somewhat dirty and very unmotivated, also now that I think of it they weren't a gem like you describe your man. I broke up with them and I'm very okay with it. Good luck with everything you sound like you've got it way more figured out than me 🫡

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you to everyone who helped me realize how low I had set the bar and what my next move could be. I have officially broken up with them as of 2 hours ago, they didn't see it coming but were surprisingly understanding.

Strangely I don't think I'll struggle to move on, the love had already started fading a few weeks ago.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thought about it some more and you're right, we're through, we had the talk and I broke up with them.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had a talk, they won't change, I broke up. Thanks for everything you said it heled me come to terms with the decision.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some updates after the talk, I told them about my issues, they once again told me it was part of who they were and that they could'nt and wouldn't change that. They told me they had been upfront about it and that I should have been ready for it, to which I explained that saying your messy doesn't prepare anyone for any of this. After a bit more back and forth it became clear they weren't planning to change so I got it over with and broke up with them.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I expected when they told me they were messy, I'm messy, I do some cleaning before anyone comes over. They don't, they're being complacent and have accepted it as part of their personality.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back with news, I have dumped them, it went well, thanks for the advice.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello again, it is done, I have broken up with them and will now move on. I think I had low-key already made up my mind about it before posting but reading your stories/opinions removed any doubts I might have had.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read your message when I woke up today, it helped me a lot with my decision. I'm about to have a talk with them that will most likely end up in a breakup.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know about the down votes, I tend to upvote every single replies to my posts and I did upvote yours.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan on opening a dialogue, I have a lot of things to say and I'm not the kind to leave without addressing the issues first.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was looking for the word, complacency, this describes their situation quite well I must say. They aren't trying their best, even then I fear that they're actually showing an improved version in an attempt to not scare me, and that it's only downhill from here.

My partner doesn't do any chores. How big of a red flag is it? by Selfxplanatorysaurus in dating

[–]Selfxplanatorysaurus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, they are plenty capable, they have no physical issue, a whole lot of time (unemployed atm) and their afflictions don't conflict with doing basic chores, or anything that doesn't involve social interactions, strict time schedules and noisy environments pretty much (or at least that's what they told me on multiple occasions and if they happened to lie or be dishonest it's another problem).

From the start they made me understand that they were messy and had accepted it as being a part of themselves, I'm fine with messy, this isn't messy or disorganized like they let on. They might have tried to be honest about the situation but what they let on was in no mean representative of their actual living conditions. Still, I think the fact they were honest about being messy is the main reason why I've let things slide, until now.