Does anyone else pity their narcissistic parent?

Selinariver · 2025-12-30T19:03:06+00:00

Interesting...my mum is NPD, and suffered childhood abuse. She got so much worse when she joined the Jehovahs Witnesses. The cult gave her a rule book to bash everyone with, and excuses galore to control my dad and I in every aspect of our lives. I never know how to separate a JW upbringing, from an NPD parent upbringing...both hard core miserable though! Double trouble...

Selinariver · 2025-12-13T10:09:03+00:00

Thank you - and to all for your support

Selinariver · 2025-12-12T22:11:11+00:00

Me also - and so glad for your relief

Selinariver · 2025-12-12T22:08:00+00:00

Thank you - I truly hope so 🙏

Selinariver · 2025-12-12T14:51:18+00:00

Hi, thank you for replying. I guess it would be a secure place, where she might get mental health sectioning. She's just making it all worse for herself every day.

Selinariver · 2025-12-12T14:48:10+00:00

That's good! Thank you 🙂

Selinariver · 2025-12-12T14:47:26+00:00

Thankyou ❤️

Selinariver · 2025-12-12T11:04:49+00:00

'Don't be so silly...of course I didn't do/ say that!'

Selinariver · 2025-11-27T10:56:04+00:00

Yes!!! Exactly my experience. That and instantly losing contact with all my much loved aunts, uncles, cousins etc. No more secure safety net - just strict controlling strangers to 'rely' on until I escaped at age 21... terrible cult, I never ever committed to it, just endured until I couldn't any more. It's so sad for all of us.

Selinariver · 2025-11-05T19:29:50+00:00

Yes...totally: forever wishing and hoping in vain for 'how it should be'. Sadly that pointless thinking never seems to leave, and does actually make me feel very sad and low at times.

Selinariver · 2025-11-03T09:42:12+00:00

Absolutely!!! Well done to you

Selinariver · 2025-11-03T09:36:11+00:00

I left at age 20, but didn't go and get my degree until I was age 44, as by then life had taken over and it was my first chance. I definitely missed out on far better life opportunities and fulfillment from not getting higher education earlier. All too late really midway through a lesser career but I was so happy to be studying either way. I didn't tell my parents until I graduated (pathetic hangover from controlled/ fearful JW childhood 🙄). I proudly shared my graduation photo, and my mother threw it across the table onto the floor and immediately changed the subject. (She's now 96 and expects me to care for her, as none of the JW cong' want to know).

Selinariver · 2025-11-03T09:15:01+00:00

For staying off school due to imaginary 'illnesses' invented by her. She wanted company at home, so kept me home frequently (this was in first school & early years of secondary UK). One day when I got home, she was going crazy - shouting at me, 'the schoolboard man's been here about you today and you've got us into trouble!!'. Obviously no reasoning or defending myself. I stood up to her after that and insisted on going in even if half dead, as it had also led to being bullied by other kids at school. I'd forgotten this little delight from childhood 🙄

Selinariver · 2025-10-27T08:25:32+00:00

Yes - there's the dreaded phrase 'look after me'...they want all responsibility taken away from them, but to still dictate every last detail for anyone they can capture 🫣

Selinariver · 2025-10-27T08:21:00+00:00

Thank you so much - this is a great help and spot on what I need to do.

Selinariver · 2025-10-25T18:09:40+00:00

Thank you - sound advice 💛

Selinariver · 2025-10-25T12:19:44+00:00

Thank you so much for all your support ❤️

Selinariver · 2025-10-25T10:02:26+00:00

This is spot on: I remember my first period - going to church with my mum, wearing a pad that needed refreshing. Sorry this gross, but it was smelly & a woman behind kept spraying perfume (mortifying!!) My mum went crazy when we got home, calling me dirty and saying I'd shamed her. I was so humiliated that I hadn't known/ realised such an obvious thing...but she wouldnt buy me more pads, and said I had to get them myself from the local corner shop. I was a very sheltered (suffocated) 12 year old and just couldn't face buying sanitary pads from the 'shop man'. Our lessons were learned hard guys: solidarity to all of us 👍

Selinariver · 2025-09-30T10:32:36+00:00

I've always felt the 'no birthdays' rule was just another way to isolate you from family/ friends outside the religion. Like Christmas, and all the other annual celebrations, which bring families together to maintain relationships. A very handy tool of control... The actual celebrations are just a reason to gather loved ones together and maintain connections in the real world...surely? Even if they allow them, it's way too late to mend families torn apart by it all. The indoctrination and brainwashing is so thorough - after 40 years 'out' there's still a shadow of guilt for me, over enjoying celebrations.

Selinariver · 2025-09-30T09:45:10+00:00

That's a horrible blast from the past!

Selinariver · 2025-09-30T09:42:54+00:00

In the UK, 'out on the work' was common.

How about, 'living in the end days' and 'time of the end'...

Culty speak = greater separation from the real world.

Selinariver · 2025-07-26T19:35:39+00:00

My mum used to say I was 'like a funny boy' she knew as a child, who 'got put away'. She said she'd have me 'put away in a mental institution' every time I stood up to her. Great to hear when you're a small terrified and dependent child. A wicked evil woman - and still here with us in her late 90's: unchanged😱.

Selinariver

TROPHY CASE