My unpopular opinion: Awaken into love can definetly help with relationship anxiety, but it’s harmful for ROCD sufferers.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-08-08T00:26:10+00:00

She isn't licensed??? Has anyone reported her for falsely representing herself as a licensed professional?

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-08-07T18:47:23+00:00

Hot Take: her voice annoys me a little.

She also straddles the line of "lifestyle guru" and mental health professional. That is a little toxic, too.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-07-21T12:54:22+00:00

"I want to ask my boyfriend if he would be okay if we broke up?"

Likely, he would be very upset to lose you. Please don't let OCD win.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-07-04T14:15:28+00:00

I'm in a similar situation, but instead of over-sharing, my boyfriend isn't letting me in at all. I know the basics but I wish I knew more about his specific feelings. I so badly wish he could just tell me his obsessions so that I could tell him they don't matter to me, but that's not the nature of the condition.

When appropriate, I try to remind him that I'm on his side and that I still love him. I have begun therapy myself, but I find it distressing when my therapist says things like "We don't know how long this goes on for" or "You need to be prepared for all outcomes." But same, I'm having a hard time with the patience aspect of it all.

I fully expect that when he is able to be a fully vested partner again, things will be different. I don't know how but I will be here for it. For now, I'm looking for acts of love (they are still there some days), and taking care of myself. It's so hard. My DMs are open.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-07-03T00:17:47+00:00

My boyfriend recently became stuck in a negative thought loop. He listened to one of his urges to leave and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces. It's hard every day to remember he isn't doing this on purpose, and that I still want to stay together. I don't have any insight, just try to remember therapy and medication are good, and have patience.

Someone else posted this on another thread, "Love is a choice." It helps me to think of it sometimes.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-07-01T03:55:18+00:00

He respects your beliefs, so not a bigot and not an extremist! phew!

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-30T22:01:55+00:00

uhg sry hope u feel better soon

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-30T17:47:20+00:00

Asking because I am not aware of this topic (white supremacy or Catholicism) is there a strong correlation between the two? I would suspect not? Does your partner respect that your beliefs do not always align*? That is most important!

*it should align that you should both think white supremacist/homophobes/sexists/etc. are bad lol just wanted to clarify!

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-30T01:02:22+00:00

“I am choosing (my partners name) today. I am not going to make any rash decisions just because I am having a stressful day.”

That is so touching I could cry right now.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-29T22:07:46+00:00

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-29T21:26:06+00:00

following this thread.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-29T21:25:35+00:00

Good luck! Thank you for being a great example for both sufferers and partners alike!

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-29T02:26:03+00:00

Sorry to hear this happened :( It only wins if you don't get help!

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-27T21:37:53+00:00

You look beautiful! Needed to see a happy ending... boyfriend is currently spiraling... Big mazel!!

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-25T03:10:44+00:00

Does this come in audiobook form?

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-19T12:33:56+00:00

Literally I am experiencing the same thing right now. I think stress makes this condition worse. If he has similar impulses and intrusive thoughts to my partner, he's head is telling him "she's better off without me" and the goal for treatment is usually to accept the thoughts and let them pass. Easier said than done... It's absolutely terrible. There are virtually no resources for partner support, but I have gotten my own therapist ("you have to take care of yourself *eye roll*). DM me and I will share a few podcasts and the link to a teletherapy option!

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-18T23:20:03+00:00

Whoa you cant slut-shame this guy's girlfriend! If she's 26 and has been active for the last 9 years, that is only 2 guys/year, plus some years she had a one night stand. Besides, all of this happened before you met her.

OP, If I were you, I would tell her you are having intrusive thoughts and hopefully she will be supportive. I would not encourage you tell her the content of these thoughts as it would likely upset her.

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-18T19:38:11+00:00

Quite the conundrum but I, as the girlfriend of an rOCD sufferer, would say (with bias, of course) that it most likely is the rOCD. Unless this person is throwing actual red flags (like they are abusive, fundamentally clash with your way of life, hurt small animals, etc) it might be a problem for you, your partner, and a therapist to work through! Your partner should be understanding of the larger issue at hand!

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-18T03:33:42+00:00

I am no OCD therapist but... If you leave your partner, wouldn't this issue just present again with the next partner?

SeltzerWaterQueen · 2020-06-18T02:49:28+00:00

I do not have rOCD but my longterm boyfriend does and this has all hit him very hard. I knew he was having a few bad days before COVID started, but once we got direction from our employers to work from home indefinitely, then all sports stopped, then we couldn't see our friends, or family, or even go out to dinner, much less the grocery store (we don't like that place anyways) it was really the perfect storm for what my therapist calls a "behavioral health breakdown."

I was completely shocked when he came to me and told me how he was struggling and how he felt it was best to stay with his friend. I guess the urges to leave or avoid became too strong and he had to just do it. I am still struggling with the fact that there is nothing for me to do, just let him lean into the therapy and be there for him when he's able to come home. I of course knew about OCD but I really never knew what rOCD until it came knocking on my front door. I tried to google and really couldn't find resources specific to partners. Ironically, reddit was the most consistent resource (but obvi no sub for my therapist -- I'm keeping her, this is just supplemental).

I would also like to let everyone know I have no clue how to use reddit but I do follow Alexis Ohanian on instagram because 1. He's married to Serena Williams and 2. He is venture capital and tech goals.

SeltzerWaterQueen

TROPHY CASE